Baby is only 1 week old and I'm feeling so low.

My baby girl was born a week ago yesterday. Me and my partner are over the moon but I have this constant feeling of missing my old life. Being able to do what I want, when I want.. I love her but I don't feel bonded and I'm trying so hard. It's hard to see my partner bonding so well and I feel so left behind. I am crying a lot, very emotional. 

Will I ever feel okay again? I feel like I'm in a dark place, I feel suffocated. 

I'm so grateful to have her here healthy and I feel so selfish for even writing this post but I'm lost. I'm dreading my partner going back to work next week, I'm so scared. Will this ever lift? 

Posts

  • Yes it will! 

    Hormones are all over the place in the early days and sleep deprivation is a shock to your body and mind. Becoming a parent is a huge life changing event and it’s common to feel overwhelmed at first. 

    Dont bottle up your feelings and make sure you talk to OH, midwife, health visitor of GP for reassurance and help to get through the tough early days. They will be trained to spot PND (if that’s what it is) and offer ways to help. You are not alone and you will feel better.

    xxx

  • Hi, it is normal for the majority of people to miss their old life, it certainly was for me. You go from being able to do what you want when you want to having a little person that needs everything from you and therefore your needs don’t exist anymore to a degree. The first part is really hard and such a big adjustment especially with your first. My little boy is nearly 16 weeks old now and I still have days where I feel like that but nowhere near as bad as in the beginning. 

    Rosberry is right, don’t bottle it up, explain how you feel, the HV and GP have heard it plenty of times so there’s no need to feel bad or thay you are wrong for feeling this way it’s normal. 

    I dreaded my partner going back to work but it actually helped me, it’s mainly the thought of it that is scary. 

    Are you getting much sleep? Is your partner helping during the night. Sleep deprivation is a killer and clouds the most rational persons judgement.  

    Xx

  • In short yes it will get better! 

    When people use to say to me their first smile will make it all worth it I use to want to scream but I now love watching her squeal and laugh.

    I missed my old life and somedays i still do. I’m 3 months in and I still really miss Work so much so I’m thinking of going back. You just have to do what works for you!

    What did you love doing before? Can you include little one in it in a few weeks? For example I loved to run and swim and now I just take little one along. And you know what me and my other half enjoy a social drink and we did take baby out to the pub where she just slept and let me tell you she was far from the only baby asleep in a pram (I’m not suggesting getting drunk like!!)

    hang in there and message anytime you like - we have all been there 🙂

    oh and tell people how you feel, when I finally did I was so shocked at how many people said ‘I felt like that the first 3 months are awful because you get nothing back!’ 

    😘🙂

  • Totally understandable, remember all your hormones are all over the place! As all the others posted, it's sooo hard at the beginning. 

    My lo is 5.5 weeks now and I think it took me about 2 weeks to feel like I bonded with him. My partner did straight away, but remember that partners haven't been through the trauma of child birth! It takes ages to feel like yourself again (mentally and emotionally, never mind physically!). I'm only just starting to feel like my old self and its hard to bond with a baby when you don't even know who you are yourself! Things will be all over the place and that's okay.

    I missed my old life and still do. But in time you'll be able to get into the swing of things like meeting friends for coffee and taking your baby shopping etc. When you do, you'll get lots of admirers and I promise you'll feel like a proud mumma. You'll start to love your new life.

    Are you breast or bottle feeding? I found it hard to bond breastfeeding as I feel like a milk machine sometimes and its hard for bf mums to settle babies to sleep as they can smell the milk and just want to eat! Before I found that out I felt like a total failure because he'd cry & cry then my husband would hold him for 2 mins and he'd be asleep.

    It does get better and I'm only 5 weeks in. Give yourself time and don't be afraid to talk about your feelings, you're not alone xx

  • Thank you all for your replies. :)

    My baby is now 9 week old already and I've got to say, I feel great! I was only feeling really low for about 2 weeks.. but I can't imagine life without her now, she's a part of me. I never want my old life back because I don't want to be without her! 

    So thank you all again for helping me xxxx

  • If you have time to post on the forum, it's not so bad. I couldn't even wash my head in the first 2 weeks))
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