Am I depressed??

Please help. I have just had a baby. A month old. I have been with my partner a few years and he has a 6 year old daughter. She lives with us as her mum passed away shortly after her being born.

She asked a while back if she could call me mum, obviously coudnt say no but explained im here step mum. Anyway, since baby arrived I can’t help but feel bad as i just can’t bond with her like I can my baby. She’s a troubled child and isn’t very well behaved but I just don’t have the bond.

I’d never hurt her and I look after her and take her to school etc but I can’t get really excited about my newborn because I don’t want her to feel left out.

My partner looses his temper with her all the time becaise of how frustrating she is and he Does get snappy quite easily. He’s really grumpy and quite aggressive(not physically)’but i worry now he will treat our newborn the same.

I always thought it would get better with the baby but now I’m worried it’s going to be worse. I feel very down and keep having thoughts of leaving. We argue all the time and I’m unsure if I’m suffering a little after having baby or if I do want it to end. Sometimes he’s makes me happy but sometimes i can’t stand Him. sorry for long post. Please help


  • You’ve just had a new born so the added emotions, sleepless nights and worry does make your relationship like that sometimes! Your thoughts of “leaving” as you say concern me though, the baby blues I was told can Last a few weeks however I urge you to go speak to your GP ASAP! 

    also I think maybe the eldest needs some councelling it must be so hard for her too, for all of you. Don’t feel bad about your baby being left out you will love the baby unconditionally forever. The best advice I can give is to go talk to your doctor and family and friends and they can advise further. There is nothing wrong with going for some help/guidance and maybe to discuss how you feel in more depth.dont give up!!! It’s hard, I have a step daughter who’s a bit troubled too!!! and a baby but you are their mum/step mum! It’s a bloody hard job! Talk to someone darling x

  • Thank you, Iv finally had a better sleep and had a wake up call yesterday when I had 5 minutes to myself while Daddy watched baby and I realised I wouldn’t be able to just have a few minutes if he wasnt around to help. I do think it’s a mix of tiredness and hormones like you said. 

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