🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Living with the sadness y
I wanted to spend this time to try and explain in part some of my story of postnatal depression.
I was a mum of two beautiful boys and as everyone else in this life had been through my own ups and downs.
In july 2016 I decided to buy a coffee shop and spend my time as a single mum focusing on teaching my boys the work ethic that I hoped they would thrive on. Little did I know my first love who I met when I was 15 would walk back into my life and we would pick up just where we left off! What a wonderful life we had. My boys loved him he was an amazing step dad and I couldn't think of anything better than to add to our amazing family with another baby.
This was the most amazing time in my life, I had the family, I was working solid on a business that was going very well, friends were positive and supportive and on 2nd of August 2017 I gave birth to my third beautiful boy and my heart was was just full of joy and excitement for the future.
2 days after leaving the hospital I was back at work my baby boy with me just where I wanted him. I had the next 3 months of me working days and looking after him at night with no real breaks due to my amazing partner working nights. I cant say I slept much for 3 months and one day I just snapped. Long story but I told my partner he needed to stop work and be a stay at home dad! He did this gladly as he adored our son and was amazing with him. Little did I know this was the start of my PND getting worse. I didn't recognise my anxiety but slowly and surely it would build up until the panic attacks kicked in and they came from no where, or so I thought. I had started to recognise that things were not right and made the hard decision to go to the GP. I sat there and sobbed not knowing what she was going to say but the words POSTNATAL DEPRESSION came out and it nearly destroyed me, I never thought in a million years that I would ever come close to this, I'm a strong independent person how could I be this weak!!! I was angry at myself and hated myself for not being able to cope with it all.
But I listened I took the advice given to me, i started the antidepressant and I started accepting this wasnt something I had done to myself. Time passed and the medication kicked in enough for my little man to start 1 half day at nursery, i built on that slowly and he is now going every day half a day. My partner works and I do half days to so I get time with my boy.
Dont get me wrong this is the short version lol and I'm not 100 and I do have lots of days where I just dont want to part with him.
But this has what has got me through.....
I dont want to hold him be back from being a positive,outgoing, friendly person and my anxiety is for me to deal with and to hopefully not hold him back from being the best person he could possible be.
I was a mum of two beautiful boys and as everyone else in this life had been through my own ups and downs.
In july 2016 I decided to buy a coffee shop and spend my time as a single mum focusing on teaching my boys the work ethic that I hoped they would thrive on. Little did I know my first love who I met when I was 15 would walk back into my life and we would pick up just where we left off! What a wonderful life we had. My boys loved him he was an amazing step dad and I couldn't think of anything better than to add to our amazing family with another baby.
This was the most amazing time in my life, I had the family, I was working solid on a business that was going very well, friends were positive and supportive and on 2nd of August 2017 I gave birth to my third beautiful boy and my heart was was just full of joy and excitement for the future.
2 days after leaving the hospital I was back at work my baby boy with me just where I wanted him. I had the next 3 months of me working days and looking after him at night with no real breaks due to my amazing partner working nights. I cant say I slept much for 3 months and one day I just snapped. Long story but I told my partner he needed to stop work and be a stay at home dad! He did this gladly as he adored our son and was amazing with him. Little did I know this was the start of my PND getting worse. I didn't recognise my anxiety but slowly and surely it would build up until the panic attacks kicked in and they came from no where, or so I thought. I had started to recognise that things were not right and made the hard decision to go to the GP. I sat there and sobbed not knowing what she was going to say but the words POSTNATAL DEPRESSION came out and it nearly destroyed me, I never thought in a million years that I would ever come close to this, I'm a strong independent person how could I be this weak!!! I was angry at myself and hated myself for not being able to cope with it all.
But I listened I took the advice given to me, i started the antidepressant and I started accepting this wasnt something I had done to myself. Time passed and the medication kicked in enough for my little man to start 1 half day at nursery, i built on that slowly and he is now going every day half a day. My partner works and I do half days to so I get time with my boy.
Dont get me wrong this is the short version lol and I'm not 100 and I do have lots of days where I just dont want to part with him.
But this has what has got me through.....
I dont want to hold him be back from being a positive,outgoing, friendly person and my anxiety is for me to deal with and to hopefully not hold him back from being the best person he could possible be.
0
Replies
Thank you for posting your story - we are so glad you're doing so much better. It's great to read positive survivor stories of PND, so we're so grateful you shared.