Postpartum/baby blues? advice?

babyblueyes · Feb 2, 2020 6:12PM

Hi all,
for a few weeks now I've been having my good days and bad days, but when I have my bad days all I want to do is cry and have no responsibilities. My son is almost 4 months now and my fiancé and family do what they can to help me, but I almost don't want them to because he's my son, I should be doing things for him, but then I complain when they do because they didn't do it the way I like it. Im a bit of a perfectionist. my son was in hospital for a few weeks after he was born so things didn't start of great and soon after my son was realised from hospital I was admitted and had to have keyhole surgery, making me unable to see/do things for my son. I find it really hard to even think something could be possibly wrong but I know I'm not going to feel better if I don't speak up. if anyone has experienced this please reply and give me advice.
thank you.

Jdoo · Feb 4, 2020 12:15PM

Sweetie you are absolutely not alone!! I found myself sitting during the night questioning my decision to have a baby and whether I had done the wrong thing. Everyone seemed to have an opinion on what was best for MY baby.
It does get easier, and the feelings of needing to constantly be in control will get easier.
My advice would be firstly, to discuss your concerns with your partner so you are both in this together, then speak to your health visitor and GP so that they can help you.
You have absolutely done the right thing asking for help x

Bluehawaii90 · Feb 4, 2020 12:28PM

Hi I know somewhat how you're feeling, I think anyway. With both of mine (2 and 10 weeks now) I spent time over night in hospital with them before they were 2 months old. My first fell off a table at 5 weeks old. It was 2am and I'd taken her downstairs to do the night feed. I put her on the changing mat on the kitchen table while I boiled the kettle for her milk. No sooner had I turned my back off she jumped. She was fine. With my son (10 weeks now) he had pneumonia at 2 weeks so he was on IV antibiotics as there suspected meningitis/sepsis at first.

It's hard, you go through such an ordeal having them even if you have an easy labor with them. You're at the most tired you've ever been and straight away that first night your expected to be able to feed, change, burp and hold another human being. That's as well as look like you are functioning just fine for the midwives and health visitors etc.

I found with my first that I suffered from baby blues harder. The Dr gave me the pill at 6 weeks and I honestly think it's too soon to be messing around with hormones while they are still trying to find a new level after being sky high for 9 months. It was a good 4 months before I stopped crying. This time around I flatly refused to go on it and it's not been so bad, so I'm not sure if it's because I haven't taken the pill or if it's just different.

You are NOT the only person feeling this way. 10 weeks postpartum and it gets me in the evenings. Some days are better than others, some days I can sit and watch hubby struggling to settle little one while I'm eating (instead of inhaling) lunch and I'll feel guilty. It will get better, but it won't hurt to talk to drs or health visitors, there's no way you will be the first person to do so.

Hope you are ok!

babyblueyes · Feb 4, 2020 1:11PM

thank you for your advice, its nice to know im not alone. I've made and appointment with my Gp and will get some advice from them.
hope your both doing well.

Postpartum/baby blues? advice?

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