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PND

Hi. I don't usually post of forums but here goes..
My daughter is 13 weeks old and has suffered from silent reflux since 4 weeks old, she has also been diagnosed with CMPA. She is on omeprazole and amino acid based formula, only for the past week and so far no relief from the symptoms. She has cried pretty much all day every day in pain for the past 2 months. I have been diagnosed PND and have started antidepressants. Feeling pretty isolated as I can't take her anywhere, she even cries in the pram.
Hoping to chat to other mums and hopefully get some tips for coping with pnd x

Replies

  • Ive not suffered from PND but there will be others who will comment and be able to help. 
    All I would say is you need to be kind to yourself. It is a very lonely time at the moment and I can't imagine being a new mum at the moment. Big hugs. 
    I take medication for anxiety that developed after my 2nd was born. Just keep talking and there is lots of online support.
    Everything will pass eventually xx
  • With my first baby I suffered postnatal anxiety, I didn't tell anybody bevause I thought I was going insane and it was so bad I was convinced if I told anybody they would take him away from me, off the back of that I developed really bad OCD as a weird away of coping with the anxiety I had, the ocd is still with me and I now have my second boy, luckily the anxiety didn't come back but this time I defo have been feeling down and depressed, again iv not talked to anybody about it so I don't know if it is postnatal depression or not... I know exactly how you are feeling, its hard, there's so many mums just like you and me, you are doing the best for your little one and you have reached out and gotten help for your self, I'm sure your doing a fantastic job, you have totally got this :) it's must be hard dealing with your babies conditions but these days will pass, is there anything you can do to calm her? I was thinking maybe a baby carrier? Maybe bring upright and close to you may calm her?.... I know exactly how you feel being isolated as well since having my second son it's so difficult to get out the house it just turns into a nightmare, I can't drive and don't really live close to anything so most days stay home, only really go out at the weekend when partner is at home, the most important thing is to kmow things will get better, better days are yet to come x
  • Hi Poppy1410,
    I can't offer any advice about PND, but I can offer advice about the reflux side of things. It DOES get better! My lo was awful with reflux, and constipation, we finally changed his milk around 8 weeks and after about a month realised that most of his symptoms had subsided. We found that positioning had a lot to do with, and for sleeping the only positio. He was comfy in was on his tummy. Even now at 22 months he sleeps on his front with his bum sticking up in the air!
    I can completely understand the isolation feelings, I felt so isolated and this wasn't in the middle of a pandemic. Online forums will be a great source of info and friendship for you! Made for mums was a life saver for me!

    Feel free to pm if you like, I promise you though, it does get easier!!! 
  • I can only imagine how difficult it is for you during this time when it’s so hard to socialise. 
    The best way you can help yourself is with the tiny things for you and little those achievements. Do something different to your hair, eat one of your favourite meals, drink the amount of water your supposed to in a day, have a bath once bub is asleep. Those tiny things for you will add up to a huge shift in your mental health. 
    Remember you’re an amazing mum and all of us struggle (and even if there is nothing to struggle about we struggle because we love our little ones and want to protect them from everything) even though your bub is small you set up a little sensory activity for you both to enjoy together (fluffy jumper or bubble wrap?). Especially when it feels overwhelming try to find something fun and different to do.  Hope this helps x x
  • It sounds like you’re really having a tough time of it, I’m so sorry, sending you big virtual hugs! 

    Well done for seeking help for the PND, that’s a really big and positive step for you. It’s one I wish I’d been brave enough to do! Now you’ve got some help, that side of things will start to get better with time for you. Have you tried taking your daughter out in a carrier rather than a pram? Or, and this one does ask a lot of you, but maybe try a really short walk just carrying her in your arms? Like a short walk round the block or something? There’s a lady who lives near me that does this with her little one as it’s the only way her baby settles but the fresh air does them both the world of good. 

    Baby’s go through phases, and constantly change their likes and dislikes (like some cruel kind of game for us parents! Everything you think you’ve sussed them out they change!) so keep hanging on in there, something she hates at the moment, like her pram, she may well love in a week or so 💕

    It sounds like you are doing such a great job, be proud of yourself mumma 💕💕💕

    I don’t know much about CMPA I’m afraid so I can’t offer much help there, I just hope your daughters symptoms settle down soon, it sounds incredibly tough for both of you xxx
  • I didn’t have PND but I do remember how lonely and hard it was in the beginning. I wanted to send you a virtual hug. It may not seem like it now but things do get easier. I found online forums where people were going through the same
    thing and following (honest) mum accounts for tips helped me. I hope things with the reflux start to improve soon but hang in there Mama - you’re doing great! xxx
  • Aww bless you, please don’t be too hard on yourself. My firstborn had silent reflux and those first few months getting to grips with things were so, so tough! For ages I didn’t realise what was wrong so I think you’ve done amazingly well to reach out to your GP and get medication and understand the impact on your own health  already. Just know that it gets better as their digestive systems develop.

    I remember feeling so low with my little boy because all my friends babies seemed so happy and content in comparison. I would often avoid meeting up with them or would prepare an apology for his grumpiness in advance of meeting them.. it was awful I felt like I was doing something wrong and I hated how unhappy and pained he was. Changing to an anti-reflux formula, paced feeding and talking to our health visitor really helped. 
    Do you have a partner to share the load with? 
  • Thanks so much everyone for the comments and suggestions, I really do appreciate the support and encouragement.
    We do have a baby carrier but she doesn't always settle in it so I havent used it for a few weeks. I will try again as feel I could really benefit from getting out in the fresh air occasionally. 
    @Pe4nut hi. her dad lives with us but is also feeling very stressed and unfortunatly hasn't been able to bond with her yet ( evenings seem to be her worse time with the reflux) he does help and offer me breaks. I am also the same with meeting friends, I get so embarrassed when she cries I tend not to make plans now.

    Feeling better for reading all your messages today and will try and take it a day at a time xx



  • Hi Poppy,

    im sorry to hear your having such a terrible time. I don’t have experience with PND but my daughter also had CMPA, it’s a very upsetting experience but it does get better. There are other formulas you can try - we had to persevere with the doctors and tried 3 formulas before anything worked - but Neocate was our golden ticket. My daughter didn’t sleep unless upright & cuddled, would never settle in her pushchair only on me. I know how hard it is, but don’t feel embarrassed meeting friends - just explain her CMPA.
    i found little walks/short walks in the baby carrier often helped, a baby swing that she could sit upright in & generally being on my shoulder.

    It does get better it doesn’t seem like it now but it does! Your doing fantastic!

    if your on Facebook there is a CMPA group with lots of other people who offer support and go through the same things - I found it a safe space to speak. That may help you some more.

    xxx
  • Bless you sweetheart, I really do empathise.
    I’ve just had my seventh baby, and unfortunately I’ve had a lot of experience with pnd, I’ve had it 5 times.
    it is hard and you so feel very isolated, but the most important thing to remember is you are not alone! 
    There will always be someone out there that wants to help, and can help you, even though it feels like no one can.
    it is so important that you keep talking, and making this post was a great thing to do, so well done on making that first step!
    I know it’s hard with a new baby but try to rest whenever she does, chores and other jobs can wait, they really aren’t important in the grand scheme of things.
    Find yourself a good comedy to watch, I found watching something funny would really lift my mood and distract me from how I was feeling.
    Eat the foods you love, don’t focus on calories for now, it’s not important right now, just enjoy your food.
    You have just had a baby, you deserve to go easy on yourself, you deserve to treat yourself.
    Most importantly, do not blame yourself for how you are feeling.
    It is NOT your fault and it does NOT make you a bad mother.
    The fact you have come here asking for help shows just how much of a great mother you are.
    Remember, you won’t feel like this forever, it will get better, you will come through it and there are people that want to help you, please reach out to them.
    Doctors, Health Visitors, Friends.
    Please reach out to them, and be kind to yourself! xx
  • This thread has been such an important read! You and doing amazing, and just remember “you’ve survived your hardest days” xx
  • Hey @Poppy1410 just thought I’d pop back and see how your last couple of days have been? 
    Hope you’re doing ok xxx
  • Hi @MillP sorry for the late reply. I'm doing ok thanks, we are starting to see some relief of symptoms on the new milk but im feeling some strange side affects from the antidepressants! Hopefully it will get better in time. Thank you for the message xx
  • Hi @Poppy1410, been thinking of you. So glad to read that the milk seems to be helping ease your LO’s symptoms. Hopefully Daddy will start to feel more confident in his bond and you can take some time to yourself in the evening/weekends. Even if it’s just a bath alone!

    What side effects are you having from the antidepressants? Have you checked them out with your GP? x
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