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Depression and don’t know what to do

A lonely dark path I wish I wasn’t such a pathetic weak minded person but I’ve tried to change it doesn’t work it doesn’t suit me. I’m weak I’m 22 and will still get upset and cry if my mum or sister gang up on me. I feel unloved and worthless. 

From school I’ve never had friends as I was always the shy awkward girl the girl who felt so low from a young age I thought buying people was the only way to have friends. 

I went thru school badly bullied and older life got worse I got cheated on and used by guys which made me feel so stupid. 

I’m now 22 and 7 months pregnant and still live at home my mum can’t stand the thought me having this baby she even said she doesn’t want my daughter calling her Nan as she wanted me to get a partner who worked and didn’t have mental health and hasn’t been in and out of mental hospitals  she wishes I’d move out and every time she says those things I break down and cry like a kid as it hurts. I feel I’ve rushed things and having a family as I was scared of being alone as everyone always leaves me and thought what If I don’t ever get to have a family so rushed in to things. I don’t have no friends to even talk about this with. I would be lost if I moved out I’ve always loved being at home with my mum and sister even tho she now can’t stand me. I am 7 months pregnant and in such a dark place I love my baby I so do but I wished I’d waited till I was older I’m a failure to life. My mum even says I’ve ruined my young life and I won’t be able to cope and look back and regret it. I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

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