Forum home Toddlers & older children Potty training

Potty Training Challenge - 'Fear of Something' group

Well this this the forum Marcus and I have been allocated. here is our details

Marcus is just 2 and 5 months. we have tried to gradually introduce the potty on an evening but he would just scream and cry when it was offered. He had used once a potty at a play group and seemed happy on that so we were not sure if it was the type of potty we had so we also bought a padded toilet seat for him.

He will sit on it at times and other times just screamed and refuse point blank to sit on it. So far we have either not timed it right or he doesn't need as he hasn't done anything on the potty or toilet on a night but once he has run off from wither he has then on occasions done a wee on the floor or in the bath and definitely knows he is doing it. we haven't made a big deal of him doing it there we have just told him that nest time he needs to use the potty or the toilet.

 last weekend to when the mother in law was round he actually sat on it in the garden for her and did a wee!



  • whoops forgot to say bye and thanks in advance for any help and support. We may be a day or two behind with full on trying as he goes to nursery Monday to Wednesday so it will just be first thing and last thing before bed when we can try at home

    Jillycat ximage

  • Hi everyone,

    My son is 30 months old now. He is able to tell me when he needs to poo. But when comes to wee, he still wee in his nappy (he still not sure when he need it). He hate wee in the potty/toilet. We are really run out of ideas.


  • Hi everyone

    Ethan is 3 next month, and I am determined to get him out of the nappies before he starts nursery in September (and also to save us cash!!!)

    Ethan refuses point blank to use the potty (we've tried sticking stickers on it, sitting on it, to show him it's nothing to be scared of) when I ask him to use the potty he just refuses outright, or cries if I try to put him on it. He does seem to prefer the toilet and will happily sit there but won't do anything, and will not sit long enough to do anything.

    I am really frustrated and don't know what to do next, he doesn't tell me when he's doing a pee or a poo but he does say once he's done it image

     Any suggestions would be much appreciated, I never had this problem with my Daughter who was dry day and night by 18 months. We are ready for this challenge.

     I look forward to hearing your suggestions, Angela

  • Just take the nappies off altogether.

    Sit with him at the potty.Have a new sticker book,or story book or something he'd like ready that you use at the potty.Sit there for ten minutes playing.Then ten minutes off playing.Then back for ten minutes potty time.If he goes on the potty give him a reward,we use smarties cos it's instant reward and special only to the child doing the potty training.We had a bit of "where's mine "from siblings but I explained they got theirs when it was their turn.If you have success be very excited for him,if not try again ten minutes later.By chance alone you should have some success and once they associate that with the reward they're more willing to try.It all sounds like a drag,but it's suprising how quick it is that they find their own way to the potty.

    A timer may be useful for your ten minutes,and of course you can put the potty in whichever room you're in.

    Get Daddy,big sister and anyone who'll listen excited for him.Let it be a positive thing,not something to worry about.At three he's got the words to tell you when he's done it,he knows when he's going,he just needs pointing gently in the right directions.I find my kids quite obliging when smarties are at stake.

    Be persistant.Set a time,this is what's happening and don't go back on it.Have the dettol spray ready and a bucket load of patience.

    Best of luckimage

  • Hi Everyone

    My son Ethan is 2yrs2mths and seemed ready so I decided to start potty training about a month ago. The first weekend was awful so gave up and tried a week later. I put him in pullups for a couple of days but he didnt know when wet so decided to go cold turkey and put him in pants. He is more than happy to sit on the potty about every hour and I catch most wees that way but he poos his pants everyday. Whenever I ask him if he needs to go he says no so I still sit him on potty anyway and he does go mostly and if he has an accident he will tell me he has had a wee but sometimes will carry on regardless with poo in his pants and not mention anything. 

    After nearly 3 weeks of him still not saying he needs to go and doing a poo in his pants daily I did decide to abandon the training and put him back in pullups and he did not protest or tell me when he had done a wee. Then Friday when he was at childminders he said poo so she put him on toilet and he went which was marvellous and she caught all his wees on potty all day even though he still was not saying he wanted to go. So I decided to resume training this weekend and within the first hour he had done a wee and poo in pants so I feel quite despondent now. I was hoping he would at least recognise the need to go by now and he was doing so well with the wees but I cannot cope with the poo pants situation and he is back in pullups again. Not sure which way to go now, any advice would be great image

  • I'd take the pants off altogether.Really go cold turkey.Having them on,it's easy for him to just go as he would in a nappy.With nothing on,there's nowhere to go.It helps them be more aware of what's going on. .By putting pull ups back on you're sending mixed messages.Most pull ups are as good as a nappyThat's very hardfor a little one to understand.He needs to know the potty's the way to go,and there's no going back.It's also important this is not something to be afraid of.However silly it seems be excited,if you're anxious or hesistant he'll notice.

    It doesn't matter if you have to be the one catching the wee/poo,rather than him telling you he needs to.The more he goes in the potty the more relaxed and comfortable he will be with it.Each time he gets it right,even if he didn't tell you but you just caught it,make sure there's lots of praise,and a reward.He'll recognise the need to go.You taking him and him going and everyone being pleased with that will help him .

    Keep at it,don't give up.I've found with all my little ones it's taken 2 or 3 days at most to be getting it right at least some of the time,and by the end of a week most of the time.Some are hesitant with pooing in a potty.Just be there to reassure,and very excited when they do it.

    Hope that helps.image

  • I'm pleased to have been allocated to this group. My son Morgan is 26 months old, he doesn't talk either he just grabs a hand and leads us to what he wants. He has great fear of the potty. Although once we get him on it he does often pee. He really seems to be scared of the potty but I do think this was linked to a time when he was suffering from constipation and was on medication for it. He was always in agony going to the toilet and we were advised to use a potty as to let gravity help things along. This is where I need help! I woould love any tips or advise. We have bought a seat for the toilet too so we do try and sit him on the loo before he has a bath. He doesnt really like that either.... Help and good luck to all who have joined these groups!
  • Hi there I think you really need to be consistant and be preparred for lots of accidents. Talk to the childminder and ask them what worked for them and keep up the routine. If the pull-ups aren't working I would ditch them as quite a few parents on here say they are pretty useless. It will just click with the little one its just having patience and perserverance. Keep up with the good work and fingers crossed it will all come together sooner rather than later.
  • well after a brilliant afternoon yesterday when Marcus sat on the potty and did a wee and sat on it before his bath as well,  Its back to "no not want it"  today.

    Yesterday I think he was keen to go on it as we had friedns round and he saw his little pal wo is the same age use the potty so he wanted to copy but tonight after nursery and before bath's it was the same old story of not wanting to sit on it.

    Will try again tommorrow x


    He got up and told me he had weed in his nappy so took him to potty in bathroom and he did a little bit more and then put him in pants.  We were going out for most of day so packed change of clothes and potty. Sat him on potty few times before we went and he was happy to oblige and started a reward chart this morning and explained that happy face stickers for wees and poos on potty and sad face for little accidents.

    Got to play area and asked him regularly if he needed to go and he just kept saying NO like normal. About hour later noticed he was stood awkwardly and looking at me and he had weed. Said never mind and sat him on potty anyway and he produced a small dribble which we celebrated and then changed his clothing. Sat him on potty before going into car for journey home and again he went. He slept in car and for about an hour when home. I have noticed he stays dry for naps and even quite long car journeys and then does massive wee when placed on potty so I am guessing he is capable of holding it if needed.

    When he woke up he sat in highchair for ice lolly and he weed loads and did not say anything just carried on eating his lolly - cant blame him really I suppose!

    Took his bottom half clothing off and left him like that for rest of day and we did catch rest of wees on potty but only when prompted to. Was waiting for the dreaded poo but he has not gone today so will see what tomorrow brings, am I being too optimistic with his progress or is he really not ready and I am pushing him too early?  image

  • I think if you keep going the way you are you'll crack it soon enough.You've had more hits than misses from the sounds of that,sounds like he has some idea what he's doing.
    It doesn't matter if you have to prompt them,if they wee in the potty they wee in the potty,and the more often they do the more it becomes tne normal thing to do.If you know he has a full bladder,after a nap,or if you just know he's been a while,sit him on the potty,better to catch it than have an accident.Also before you go out,before they sit in a highchair or pushchair/carseat whatever.I hate cleaning the car seat,just seems to get right in there.
    It's not going to happen overnight,but you've made a really good start.Potty training is a major disruption,it was so much more convenient to put a nappy on and not worry about whether your little one needs to go to the toilet.Seems to be constant at first but that'll soon pass,as will the gaps between wees.
    Try not to worry about the poo thing.If you're at home,have no pants on to go in.Watch out for signs he may want to go.Just be reassuring if he's upset,and excited at even the tiniest amount.
    But don't go back and undo all your hard work
  • Well Morgan still won't sit on the potty but we are putting him back every 10 mins or so. He's not crying as much when we get it out but no sucess with catching pee in it! We are helping him recognize that he has wee'd though so its all good. Just perserverance and lots of carpet cleaner!
  • We have given up on the potty, and Ethan is now sitting on the toilet!! I can't understand how he is so scared of the potty, yet is now making for the toilet!! He sat for a good five minutes on the loo this evening but didn't do anything, although we all made a big deal of it and gave him a clap (he was very proud of himself). I have tried taking him back and forward to the bathroom all day and sometimes he will get up there albeit reluctantly! But we are one step forward now. I just wish that he would do something on there! I would like to thank TheOldWomanWhoLivesInAShoe who has offered some great suggestions. Still trying.................

    Had really good day with Ethan today. We have been out from 9am until 3.30 and he had the same pants on all day and did all his wees in the potty image

    I was waiting for the big poo as he never had one yesterday but still nothing so when we got home I stripped him off again to help him along but he weed on the conservatory floor within minutes which was unfortunate.  He continued to wee on potty right up until bathtime but where is that poo?! Feel like its a timebomb waiting to go off tomorrow now. Tomorrow is another day and we will deal with what it brings after a good nights sleep! Hopefully he will poo tomorrow or I will start to worry that I have made him hold it in! image

  • I felt like that with all of mine,the first poo.Some were bothered,my number five was worried for a couple of days,but with reassurance and much excitements at something a mouse could have produced she got through that.I did find at first some of them seemed to hold it.My number 6 ,Matilda seemed to go a little at a time ,several times for a day or so,before going back to normal.Like she was just getting used to it I think.

    Best of luck,hope it's not such a worry after all.I now have a 2 year old and 3 year old who describe what they produce in every detail,and can't wait to see what their baby brother's done in his nappy.It wasn't a worry for longimage

  • Update:

     It didn't start well this morning tried him on the potty and all he would say is " not Big" now I wasn't sure if he meant the potty wasn't big or he wasn't big and he could tell me what he meant. he eventually sat on for a few minutes after i sat his toy cat on the potty pretended the cat had a wee and gave it a smartie. He then sat on it didn't do anything but still gave him a smartie.

    When i dropped him off at nursery this morning I asked about what their potty looks like. The have one chair one referred to as the Big potty which apparently they all prefer and a small normal potty. I asked them if they could try him on the potty at each nappy change to day.

    When i collected him today I was told he had used the big potty 3 times and done 3 wee's yes he had pooed in his nappy but this was great. they had given him a sticker each time he had used it and on the final time he apparently came out and told everyone he had done a wee.

    So at home tonight i thought we would try again given the success at nursery. He again was upset and said "not big" but with the promise of if he sat on the potty for one story he could have 1 smartie he did and guess what we struck lucky and he did a wee so there was oddles of praise which he lapped up.

    Unfortunately he got really upset at bath time when he did a poo in the bath not something he has done for a very long time. hubby was giving him the bath but handled it really well just gave him a cuddle and told him accidents happen.

    So today has been full of lots of good things but I can see that we might ended up getting a potty chair if the "not big" continues. 


    Jillycat x

  • Many thanks to "theoldwomanwholivesinashoe" for all your support and advice. Where do you get the time with 6! I only have one to worry about and thats enough, you are an absolute star. Looking  forward to the next installment image
  • Thanks so much for some great posts and tips - big thumbs up too to Oldwomanwholivesinashoe for some brilliant advice. I’m loving reading all the updates – it’s fantastic to see the progress that’s being made.

    Jillycat – Marcus is doing so well – congrats to you both. I think it’s fascinating that he wants to copy his friend using the potty. Could this friend come round again and Marcus go with him when he’s using the potty, or is there another friend who’s also using a potty? My daughter suddenly wanted to use a potty when we spent a day round at friends, where two other girls were using a potty. It’s amazing how much more influential friends can be than us, mere mums! If you are looking to buy a potty chair, there’s a good one made by Summer Infant as it combines a potty chair, a trainer toilet seat and a step stool. It costs around £15-£20 (the cheapest I found is at Amazon.

    Eileen – Great news that he’s telling you when he needs to poo. That’s already a big step forward. For the wees, as Oldwomanwholivesinashoe has been advising, put aside a couple of days and just take his nappies off. He’ll soon know when he’s weeing and encourage him to do it in a potty with lots and lots of praise, cuddles and rewards (star chart or a Smartie).

    Angela – Yahey! Ethan is on the toilet! No need to go back to the potty, as you’re doing keep praising and encouraging him to keep popping himself on the loo. Next time (or may be the next time after that) there’ll be a wee in the loo. Let us know how it goes tomorrow…

    Chloeburg – Well done for today! That’s brilliant news. Not sure I can add very much to the great advice Oldwomanwholivesinashoe has already given, other than don’t worry too much about the poo. It will come. If you focus too much on the poo, Ethan may pick up on this, causing him to worry and then hold it in. Keep cheering the wees and when the poo comes cheer that too – but don’t go overboard. Encourage him to think that poos are as natural and easy as wees. Good luck!

    Katrina – You’re doing all the right things – congrats on your positivity in the face of puddles. Have you tried him on a trainer toilet seat on the toilet rather than the potty? Some children prefer to go straight to the toilet – while others find they’re not ready for that. However, it’s clearly worked for Angela and Ethan above, so may be worth giving a go if it’s not distressing for him. The puddles will stop and he will get it in a matter of days – keep up the great work.
  • Hi everyone,

    Sorry. I didnt get time to update yesterday!

    His problem is: didnt want to pee in the potty cos he prefer to pee in nappy

    Update for kieran:

    Day 1 (Monday)

    Got him in training pants. But he insisted wearing big boy pant! So he is wearing both!! I didnt want more cleaning and washing! Tried to encourage him to use potty. Rufused! Still pee in his nappy. Lucky, by the end of the day, he finally used it before bedtime. Overnight, his nappy was full of pee! (What to do next? How to stop him from wetting himself at night)

    Day 2 (Tuesday)

    Went to nursery. Report from nursery that he was using the loo. Surprise surprise! Hope tommorrow he will be out of his training pant!

    Chat soon!

  • ET they are not usually dry at night for some time after they are in the day.Only one of my children was,with the others it's been another year or so of pull ups at night.They usually have no control over what they'e doing in their sleep.Don't be worrying about that at the moment.Sounds like he's doing well in the day.

    Leave the nappy off in the day.From what you say about his time at nursery he  can use the loo.If he has a nappy on,of course that's easier he use that,but don't give him the option and you'll be there in no time.You might have an accident or two,but that's what dettol's for.Change from nappies to pull ups at night,they're as reliable as pull ups just give your little one a bit more grown up feel.

    Good luck.image

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions