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PLEASE HELP

Hi I am Sarah
Mummy to a 2and a half year old girl
I want to know why a child has to be potty trained before they are 3 because we have the little red child health book and my husband said that there is a risk if she is not clean and free of pull ups and I will end up haveing the health visitor comming every 2 weeks and he will not be the one in trouble i looked in the book and all i can see
In the red personal child health record book for the 3 yr check is
STAY DRY BY DAY AND
STAY CLEAN I AM SCARED THAT I WILL HAVE TO HAVE THE HEALTH VISITOR BACK
EVRY 2 WEEKS JUST BECAUSE SHE IS NOT OUT OF PULL UPS SHE IS BRIGHT
I do not know what else i can do it is all down to me as he is at work all day that is ok but does not help me to help her does anyone else have the same worries i feel that it is unfair on me and her but i have
read that it is not good to force a child she is 3 in july and he wants her in big girl pants before then she does have a small toilet and will go on there if i put her there what else can i do could she just be delayed in moveing up i do not want to force her but i would like her to wear big girl pants but now i am scared that i will get into serious trouble with the h visitor and he said he will not get into trouble for it as he is not here why do i feel i can not do anything right i do know there will be little accidents
I am pressered to get her out of pull ups just to please him and the grand parents i have tried the going without pull up or pants and a
reward if she does a wee or pooh in the potty please can you help me
I KNOW THAT THEY DO NOT NEED TO BE IN PULL UPS WHEN THEY ARE 3 SHE IS GOING TO SCHOOL NEXT YEAR HOW LONG CAN IT TAKE TO GET HER DRY
THANKYOU
SARAH CARDIFF COMMUNITY MANAGER

Replies

  • HEllo
    ALl children are different, my nephew was telling my sister he wanted a wee a good few months before his second birthday - harry was about 2.5 and potty trained really well - he is now 3.5 and still very wet over night, but I am not worrying about it.

    It is all about bladder control, not intelligence. SOmetimes they can get a little confused if they wear pull up nappies as they can wee in their nappy no problem. If she can go some time in between wees and you think she can tell you before she goes then get out of pull ups - out big girl pants on and go for it.

    When I first started potty training harry I used to try and put him on potty regulalry and pre empt him wanting to wee but then I decided he needed to learn to tell me so let him have a couple of acidents and then he did start to tell me - you also see the tell tale signs of crossing their legs or holding their "dinkle" and can ask the quesiton.

    He only poo in his pants about twice and realsied it was not nice and didnt do it again.

    Reward when she goes in the right place and dont make too much of a fuss if she wets herself, put a skirt on perhaps so not too much messing about to get her on the potty.

    I invested in a pad wetec I think they are calle for the car seat and buggy so if harry had an accident in the arly days it was just the pad to wash.

    I have not heard of the health visitor making tha tmany visits just becuase a child is not potty trained but puerhaps this varies from area to area, It hink they have more importnant things to concentrate on.

    Whatever you decide- good luck!
  • Hi Sarah

    Forget the red book - I haven't seen a health visitor since my girls were about 8 weeks unless I went to them!

    If you think your daughter is not ready yet then she most likely is not ready yet - as you said, you are the one with her all day every day and so are in the best position to know!  Try not to get stressed out about it as she will pick up on it and in my experience the days I'm stressed are the days they have accidents.

    My middle daughter is 3 1/2 and potty trained at 22mths, she only stopped having accidents regularly a couple of months ago.  My eldest practically potty trained herself at 19mths and hardly had accidents at all, my youngest is currently 19mths and showing absolutely no signs of being ready.

    I used the gina ford book, potty training in 1 week (actually takes much longer for the preparation) and found it very useful for helping me to know when they are ready and it talks you through it and any problems.

    Once I started potty training I did not use pull ups or nappies unless they were sleeping as they do seem to confuse them, I did try ones with a stay wet layer with them so they could feel they were wet and its not nice without the mess for a couple of weeks before starting to potty train, I think they were by pampers.  I also avoided all skirts and dresses as they forget to pull them up and wee on the back, leggings or shorts with elastic waists have been easiest for mine and easiest to keep as spares in your bag too but they need to be a bit big on them so they can get them pulled down quick.

    I have a travel potette that goes everywhere with us just in case and have a policy of we have to go to every toilet we see at the moment because one of them always manages to need a wee when there is no toilet nearby.  I also still have to occasionally remind my 3yr old to go if she is engrossed in playing to avoid accidents as she will try to have a long conversation about needing to go whilst dancing around otherwise.

    Once it all clicks into place and she is physically ready to stay dry its a matter of days and all this will seem a world away!  Hope it works out for you!

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