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3yr old wont use toilet or potty help!!

does anyone have any suggestions, my daughter is just 3, she refuses to use the potty or toilet (I have a trainer seat) Have tried leaving it to her to let me know, but I feel that 3 is getting on to still be in pullups, If I put her in knickers (let her choose etc make a fuss etc) she will hold in her wee for hours! then will do a wee when I put her in pullups to go to bed, or insists she puts on her pants (pullups) I got a bit worried about her holding in her wee it was from about 3pm to 7pm so along time! She says she's frightened of the toilet,and doesnt like it or the potty, But at 3am she if she wakes up she'll say she wants to go on the toilet just to keep me with her for a while! I have tried getting her to sit on the toilet and, if she does we sing songs etc but she has never done anything. Have tried using toys, they use the potty etc and so do most of her friends, but she just wont use it. I have dropped the subject for now but I really dont know what to do!! help!!!:\?:\?


  • I haven't really got any advice apart from when she is ready she will tell you? My lo is 2, and we have a potty for him and i have it next to the toilet. So when I go to the toilet every so often I take him to the toilet with me, and sometimes he will say wee and so he sits on his little toilet when I sit on the big toilet and go for a wee. Sometimes he goes for a wee sometimes he doesn't (and even when he doesn't i always say well done etc for sitting on the toilet/potty). At the moment I am just letting him do it as he wants to, as I have heard that if you push them too much they will be scared and won't want to do it.

    I don't think age 3 is too old to be wearing pull ups still- I would say give it til she is 4 then if no progress talk to a health visitor?
    You could also try those 'feel n learn' pull ups? ( If thats not what you are using already) as they may encourage her to want to use her potty or toilet as she will be able to feel when she is wet etc and probably won't like it!! lol xx

    [Modified by: leannec86 on September 17, 2008 06:34 PM]

  • this might sound strange but in our house we have an invisable monkey and this little monkey is a right little pain in my kids bums he keeps stealing things. He started with day time dummies, then the night time. then he took the night time ones, he even took all the day time nappies which my kids were both fine with and since there was no longer any day time nappies in the world they decided that they would have to just use the potty instead. I had tried taking them away myself but if i take anything they go mad and want it back but if the monkey takes it they just except the fact that there isnt much mummy can do about it lol x
  • Hi
    thanks jodie and leanne for your replies, Jodie I'll try the invisible monkey idea, and see what happens.
  • Some tips that helped me with my daughter:

    Let her see you go to the bathroom and explain what you are doing. My daughter always follows me every where including when I go to the bathroom.

    I found that pull ups don't help the situation, instead it makes it worse...when my daughter used the pulls ups she seemed more confused.

    I would always explain to her that when she needed to go pee-pee she had to go to the bathroom or she would just get wet which is not good

    I started by letting her wear just underwear in the house...there were a few accidents at first....gradually I started to venture on very short outings where she would wear underwear...she had a couple of accidents but I used the experience to teach her that that's why she needs to tell me when she needs to go to the bathroom

    I've been told (and also from experience) that is better to use those seats that go right on the toilet seat instead of a potty because that way your child will not be afraid to use other toilets (public or at other homes)

    If your daughter is holding it when she is wearing underwear maybe you could try to remind her....I've read that it takes about 15 minutes for liquids to go to the bladder so when you give her something to drink ask her in 15 minutes if she needs to go or even take her.

    These are some tips that helped me with my daughter, hope they can be of help to you. :\)

  • i hope it works, i dont know where i would be with out him x
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