ex and baby name doubts

My ex and I have a one year old son together and because my ex is arabic our sons name is Amir and his middle name is arabic which i hate but now he wants to call our unborn son by his name even though we split up n i dont want to.

I really want to call him an english name like James or Jacob but i'm scared what he might say or try to change it.

Adam is english n arabic but i'm not fond of that name really

any advice???:cry:
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  • hi didnt want to read and run, i broke with my partner a few months ago.......we have a 1yr old and im due our 2nd in 2 weeks, he doesnt like any of the names i have chosen but its up to me, we are nt a couple anymore and i am the full time care giver and the one who will be giving birth to the baby.

    Its your baby and up to you at the end of the day
    xx
  • I think you need to be firm and tell your ex that although you are willing to consider his suggestions it is totally unreasonable to expect you to give your baby his name. Ask him how he would feel if you insisted on leaving a perminent reminder of yourself in his life (although the kids are always a bond you don't need it rubbed in your face).
  • Hi. Bless ya I know how you feel babes. When I was expecting my 1st son my mother in law wanted to name him Ismayle (arabic name) I'm mixed race white and pataan (live near Afganistan abroad) my hubby is pakistani so either way it would of been a muslim arabic name but I did NOT want that name. I felt it was my 1st born so I should name him. I named him Junaid, she was well upset but I didnt care. My hubby wanted to keep his mother happy but I just put my foot down and said no way in hell is she naming my 1st born. My hubby liked the name his mother picked so because I named my little pea I agreed he can have that name if we have another boy. So babes, If your not happy say so. Don't worry about him changing it, your in charge, he's yours and up to you. Remember whatever name you pick it'll be your Jacob or Adam. The whole naming thing wil just disapear when babys here because he'll be yours. I HATE the idea of Ismayle but if Ido have another boy he'll be MY Ismayle. image xxx
  • tell him to do 1 its your baby and its up to u tell him to go whistle babe xx
  • Ooh, family's huh? My mil is Jamaican and seems to think she has the authority to try to name my children aswell! She wanted my last one to be called either Keith or Blanche (after her of course!) yeahright!

    However, I would say that although I agree the name should be mainly your choice seeing as you have split up, your ex is still your baby's father and also it may sound a little odd to have one boy with a very arabic sounding name and one with a very English sounding name. That's just my own personal opinion however, but I know when I was naming my two boys, I wanted them to have names that sounded as though they went together, if that makes sense?!

    Are there any other Arabic names that you could choose as a compromise?

    Good luck - I don't envy you one bit!xx
  • thanks for your replies and sticking up for me,

    the only names i like are Jayden not arabic
    James again not arabic and Adam is okay and wud be equal to me and the father so i probably call him Adam and put my dads name in middle Adam wayne because our first son has his grandads disgusting middle name.

    I shall talk to my family about it.
  • Well done chick - and I love Adam (would have been my 1st choice but hubby is called Adam!)
  • what surname will you be using?

    My friends baby father is Turkish and she refuses to put the kids in his surname (I dont even think he is on the birth certificate) because if they split up and he took the kids to Turkey she would have practically no rights to claiming her children back.

    As for first names if you have split up then dont worry what he thinks, if you went along with it with your first son then its his turn to go along with you for your second.

    Its up to you as the boys leagal guardian. xx
  • Hi,
    interesting topic!!! My other half is Tunisian and he has come up with some awful names!!!! I liked Samir as it can be shortened to Sami or Zakaria as it can be shortened to Zak or Zaki. He hates both!!! I am taking charge and naming my son, my first born is Luca Yanis which I love but I am finding it hard to find another boys name which I like.
    Good luck
    Dani 31 weeks
  • Just replying to emmalou85's comments. Can I say that you don't have to worry about the abroad thing, you know your relationship with your ex, is he likely to disappear with the kids? Depending on where your ex is from back home YOU will still have rights over your kids. Do you know which Arab country he is from? There is not many countries run by Islamic law now hence you'd have the rights. Are you muslim? If you are you have all the rights over your kids not the father. As for this dark ages b******ks it will seem that way to a non muslim because we all have different morals. Jayden, danyaal (daniel), ryan (rayaan) these are a bit of both, english and arabic theres more too. image
  • he is arabic from syria (aleppo) many of his family have married english women and had kids n they went there n came back with their mothers fine. its just problem with the name, he thinks i am muslim but am not too seriou about it their religion just scares me about death, it talks alot about death and i'm terrified of it as most of us wil be. but its the controlling husbands and favour in men more than women like emma lou said that puts me off and having to cover up.

    but i think i'm been controlled by him n my family. my family r arguing wiv me saying that am gona choose foreign name n my ex hubby is saying it must arabic name!! am so confused probably just gona call it adam or zak they r arab n english names, just have to keep looking to keep everyone happy.
  • hi, no he wont disspear with the kids, many of his uncles arab ones have married english women n had kids took them to his home town syria aleppo and come back fine. he thinks am muslim too but like emmalou said i cant stand the favour for men than women and they r too controlling n i dont wana cover up not that i was forced to but was expected to cover my head. anyway i feel like my family r controlling me now, they say oh dont pick a foreign name n my ex is saying it must be arabic! i'm so confused, i shud make myself happy but everyone always has something to say.
  • Hi babes. You'll always get people saying something. I think something in the middle a bit of both would (should) keep everyone happy. I think everyone takes their own religion how they want it. I'm born muslim and never covered up till I got married, now I'm not that fussed. I love the names you like. I think in the end everyone will just be happy that the baby is here and stuff. People just like to fuss before hand. I hope you decide on a name you love and I'm sure no one will object.
  • oh rite wat r ur kids names got any boys?
  • Hi again! Its true what emmalou says some of the things are like crazy in Islamic law. Glad they're not here! Yeah I've got one boy, he's 11 months now called Junaid. I'm not on facebook so I don't know how to upload a pic of him...
  • oh rite r u still wiv his dad? yummy mummy.
  • Hi Leanne859, yes I'm married to him. Got married in 2007 been together 3 years this year and married 2years.
  • Hi,actually my husband is arabic (egyptian) and this was a huge issue for us within the naming process.
    If you are not together anymore I do think you get the right for the final decision, but if you want to keep the peace I think scrolling through name books will help a lot!

    My oh had wanted to name our son after his father and I refused saying I wanted him to have his own identity not someone elses, this actually went down well so may be worth a try. Also in Egypt the tradition seems to be the middle names consist of the father(oh) and the fathers father so he got it in the middle name instead. (would you ne happy with that?)

    Like someone said I think because you already have one son with a foreign name I would personally be tempted to go for a name of similar origin. We went with zachariah, it is spelt in english on the birth certificate however all of oh's side pronounce it -zacha-Rrrray-ah' but in that strong non-affectionate accent. It doesn't bother me much as I know all the teachers etc in england will pronounce it in english and eventually he will probably decide to change it to zach anyway, either way he can choose himself whether he wants it to sound british or not. Along those lines I wonder if you could get away with jacob as you could spell it the british way and call him jacob whereas his family can pronounce it -Yah-oob!' it wouldn't really matter as your little one will be spending the majority of the time with you and non-arabic speaking people. Best of luck

    (I also want to add on emma-lous comment - that losing my son petrifies me, it was infact a passing comment my husband -jokingly' threatened, maybe not all countries are of muslim law now but you also have the issue of knowing where to look. It's great if you feel perfectly at ease with this situation but I know I will always have that doubt, I have also heard too many awful stories of this nature.)
  • I have dscussed it with the father and decided to call him Zacariah or zak for short

    :\( i feel like i'm the only one who split. am still married to him but we split cos he kept trying to control me, being selfish and mean.

    we split many times but now i feel lonely, and miss the times when we go out and stuff. i've got my own house now and said he waiting for me to decide what i wana do but i'm scared as it all turns out the same messed up and we ended getting annoyed wiv each other.

    what can i do?
  • What a lovely name, LOL. Am glad youagreed on one.
    I would love to talk to you but not on a public forum my oh is here atm so I will email you on the link tomorrow or please feel free to click on my link. All I'll say though is if you've plucked up the courage to leave it would be a million times harder to do it again, stay strong and hope to speak to you soon
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