Just found out and terrified!

Hello all, just joined the site as I have just found out I am nearly 6 weeks pregnant at the age of 35 (hurrah!) and this time last year I miscarried around 8 weeks.

 So I am very scared and finding it difficult to relax and going to the loo about 4 times every hour just to check I'm not bleeding...

 Anyone have any tips on how I can calm down?  I know that relaxing would help, but to be honest I am really having to focus on deep breaths just to bring my shoulders down from around my ears, and keeping normal at work when I really don't want ANYONE to know just yet is proving very difficult.

  Oh yes if all goes well this will be my first child, and would be interested as well if anyone has any definite views on flying; I know the official advice is to avoid it after the 2nd trimester, but I'm kinda not wanting to take any chances at all right now....

Sorry for rambling,  but really finding this site useful and hoping the collective knowledge will help!

thanks

Cat

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  • Hi Cat welcome to PP!!! i have three lovely boys but have had five pregnancies in total so know only too well the heartache of miscarriage. It is so very, very hard to relax until you have either heard the heartbeat or had your scan. I found it impossible to relax until i reached the magical 12weeks with my last two boys. This is such a friendly helpful site always someone on here can help and advise, Take care and wishing you all the best xxx
  • Thanks so much for the kind wishes - it's good to know that your last 2 boys managed all right with you being nervous too! 

     I'll try a lavender bath before bed... it might do the trick.....

  • yes i was fine during my first pg as not suffered before but i dreaded scans with my last two but all was perfectly fine. hope you can relax more as you progress.
  • welcome,

    I to only to well know the pain of losing a baby. I lost mine at 25 weeks, try a lovely warm bath, choc and a pamper night. Never fails for me.

    Good luck 

  • hi cat ..

    welcome to pp...

    try and relax hon take a nice long bath and relax and try taking it easy ...

    im gracey a mum off two boys ...

    look forward to chatting .. 

  • Welcome to pp.I am Jen mum to Isabelle. I had a misscariage last month and it's still pretty raw for me. I had no problems at all with my first pregnancy but I was obsessed with checking for bleeding!

    I don't think you will relax til you have had your scan but it might be worth checking to see if you can have an early scan as they offer early scans in some areas if you miscarry.

    Good luck and I hope all goes well xx

  • Baths seem to be the answer - I can see I'm going to get through gallons of hot water over the next few weeks, oh well at least I'll be warm in the bath and can save on heating the whole house image.

     I think that maybe I just need loads of distractions - hubbie works away during the week so it's very easy to get things out of all proportion being home alone. 

    I just don't want to tell any of my friends at such an early stage, I really am trying to be practical and realise that at the moment it really could go any way so it's great that this forum is here with people who have been through it all and also have children to prove that sometimes it does all work OK!

  • Oh Jen I'm so sorry to hear you miscarried, I hope you have a strong support network around you.

     Thanks for the advice and kind thoughts, I hope that you physically recover quickly and good luck for future trying xx

  • Hi Cat.I lost my first baby at 9 weeks so I know you must be feeling worried with this pregnancy.I never believed my eldest would actually be born alive and well till I actually had him in my arms.I've gone on to have 6 altogether and I'm having another next year,but I still worried with all of them especially in the first weeks.I was told by lots of people it's quite common to lose your first one early on.Doesn't make it any easier but that was true for me.I've been lucky enough to go on and have 6 healthy babies,all pretty easy pregnancies.
    Warm baths are great to relax.Boots sell loads of lovely products for expecting Mums.Of course chocolate's good too.You don't don't have to tell anyone till you want to.It's nice to have that time alone with your baby.
    Good luck.Hope all goes well.
  • I told my best friend as soon as i knew both times so i had someone other than andrew to speak to and he told someone so we didnt give each other anymore anxietys thats just what worked for us...

    my best tip for relaxng is bath, then a good dvd boxset-satc/friends etc and ben and jerrys or a gd box of choccies!! or for good distraction try sudoku worked wonders for me hen i stressed as it required total focus and it slowed mummy mush brain a little,

    Ive never had a mc but was there holding my mums hand when i was 16 and she lost a baby (she had me young and were extremely close) and its the hardest thing ive ever dealt with, my heart goes out to you, i know its hard to worry she drove us mad when she fell pregnant with my sister a year later, but shes now a manic 3yr old and she had the easiest labour ever, lucky her, i was also there for that. I unfortunatly couldnt be there when she had my brother thomas 13wks ago (she found out she was pg with him on her 40th bday) as it was a section and obviously dad is first choice, but it goes to show how well things can turn out!! he was 11lb 2oz but a total cutie.

    I wish u the best of luck, keep us updated, theres plenty of support here xx

  • Welcome!!

    I still check every time I go to the loo and i am 20 weeks, your be fine!

    I have just come back from Portugal and flying was ok, think the limit is 28 weeks.

    Good luck with your pregnancy.xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Cat,
    Welcome to PP this is a great site and the girls are so friendly, it has helped me.
    I have two children 9 and 7 years old. I have experienced a still birth (9 yrs ago, my daughter was a twin) and a mc 8 weeks ago.I am 31. I have everything crossed for you and hope all goes well. No tips for relaxing I'm afraid as I will/would be exactly the same. Lots of distractions sound like a good idea. Take care.
    Pauline x
  • Hi there and welcome to pp.

    Im Emma mum to Riley almost 4.

    Like the others say pamper yourself to help relax. When i was preggers with riley it was a constant worry till i had my scan but i found going to a local nail bar to have a manicure or pedicure worked really well as the one i went to did a full arm massage with lovely moisturiser instead of oils so not harsh on the nose.

    Wishing you the best of luck hun and take it easy as much as you can.

    xx

  • Hi Cat

    Welcome to the site, I'm Cheryl and ttc no 1, this is or 5th month of trying. Congratulations x x

  • Thank you ladies all - it really is very reassuring to know you're all out there!

     I am just keeping fingers (and everything) crossed for good luck, hoping it all works ok this time.

     Cheryl, we had been trying for a year this time so don't worry, it will all come right for you when the time is right.   I was using the ovulation kits (I'm guessing that's what you're doing?) and they worked for me both times - eventually!  Plus the fact I persuaded my husband to cut down on the drinks and take multivits and eat a bit better.

    Oh, and Zita West's book was really useful for me too - just seeing how the whole process works and the little tips were really good.

    Will keep you posted with any news...

  • Another q for you all - is it normal to have little twinges around the ovary area?  Since my mc last year I have often had a small amount of local pain there when I'm having my period, but now I have had the double line of great optimism I am getting a wee bit nervous!

    Don't get me wrong, it's not that bad at all or I would be going straight to the doc, but just wondered if it's something other people have experienced...

  • i had funny little aches in both pregnanys and always put it down to muscles etc, i do know alot of people tho who had mild period pain till about 12ks and were all fine.!!!

    Wishing you lots of luck, with my 1st i didnt find out till12wks so i never had to worry, this time i was just 4, and im still panicing now. im a right worry wart lol!! i dont think ill actually believe sprouts fine till its about 20! lol.

    If your really anxious explain to a midwife, alot will offer an early scan, i as so anxious by 10wks i just asked for one and they offered me one the next day...  enjoy the secret time it really made me and andrew close having such a special secret and wondering who theyll look like etc

    Good luck and all fingers and toes crossed for you xxx

  • Thanks Laura, that's really relieved my mind.  This site is just so great, women at all different stages being able to help each other out!

    I think I probably tested too early but was so excited I couldn't wait!

    I'm now coming down with a cold and have lost my voice image but have learnt my lesson from last year and am taking time off work til I'm better - don't want to risk the precious cargo by stressing myself out again.

    I know my doc will give an early scan, but unless there a problems they prefer not to until 10 weeks.  I'd rather not go unless I really feel bad to be honest, too many bad memories... x

  • I dont even know what made me take a test this time as i wasnt even late but had just picked another silly row and was over emotional, but finding out early certainly makes its nerve wracking, the weeks dragged for me but then suddenly i was 30wks now 36 and its flown by but i fel like ive been pregnant forever,

    I had my scan at 10wks and the pics actually clearer than the one i had at 14wks with my son just dropping two weeks of stress made the difference and i started writing lists and named it baby nemo, now sprout, dont know why lol.

    Good luck  with it all xxximage

  • hi cat am jade step mom to 3 boys and 1 girl ttc1 have been trying foe 4 years now  this site is great the girls are great to they will try and help you with any questions you have hope to chat soon jade
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