Sex and breast feeding

So sex first lol.  Has anyone else gone right off it with their pregnancy?  I keep reading that my libido should be up but it isn't - in fact I can't even let my partner kiss or cuddle me at the moment.  I'm obviously not going to feel amazingly sexy but I don't remember it being like this with my first!  Am I normal?!

 My second thing is how many of you have breastfed exclusively before?  We had a class about it today and it seems like such a big thing to just breast feed for six months without introducing a bottle or anything!  Am I being selfish when I say what about being able to go out to exercise classes etc?  I'm so confused!  I want to do what is best for my baby but I still want to be able to leave baby with hubby and not have to worry about leaving feeds etc.


  • i went completely off it too and felt awful, didnt want to be touched, until about 30 weeks then panic set in and i needed cuddles for reassurance, but in the first 30weeks only jack came near me!

    This is the first time ive managed bf and i was told bottles and dumies ruin it, well lola has a bottle of formular at bedtime since 2weeks, means i have a bath and time to myself couldnt survive without it, also has a dummy to give me an extra 15mins to do jacks dinner, nappy etc! My mum is stil bf my brother whos 6mnths and hes had a bedtime bottle since 4weeks and works like a dream same thing with me my sister and 2cousins, knowing lola will take a bottle is a weight off my shoulders should jack need me, recently he fell down stairs and i wanted to take him docs so i had a bottle ready should lola need one andrew could take over. Im NO expert but so far ive bobbled along and took advice on here finding what works for me and lola still bf very well and would much rather me than a bottle given the choice, in my opinion your mum you  know best do what works for you and your family!image

  • I am the opposite at the moment with sex cant seem to get enough and doesnt help that we have a 16 month old in our bed who cant sleep because she isnt well. But it is different for everyone and it is just your hormones running riot in your body.

    As to breastfeeding it is entirely up to you what yout decide to do. With Hollie i exculsively bf her for 5 and a half months before introducing solids. But the bad thing about it was that she point blank refused to drink out of anything other than my boobs. That meant i had to do every single feed day and night and couldnt leave her with Ian to grab some sleep because she fed so often. It also meant should there be an emergency i wouldnt have been able to leave her with anyone which i dont think is a good idea with this next baby.

    They do say not to introduce a dummy or a bottle until baby is 6 weeks old so that they have learnt the proper technique to breastfeed and also so that your milk supply is established. We however introduced a dummy at 2 weeks so i could try and get 5 mins in the day to pee, eat etc without her constant screaming. She rejected the dummy a few weeks later but i really wish she had stuck at it. 

    This time round i am going to start expressing before 6 weeks even if i just collect leaking milk in those shell things and store it to build up a supply. I dont want to introduce formula if i can help it but would like to have an expressed supply so Ian can take over some nights to let me rest and give me time to spend with Hollie. I am also thinking about starting work soon after the baby is born so i wont be able to not introduce bottles.

    As long as whatever you decide to do is best for you then that is all that matters. There is no point making yourself exclusively bf for 6 months only to become down and depressed about not being able to rest, go out etc. Babies need a loving caring mother to thrive and it really doesnt matter how you decide to feed. Just because you give formula or partially breast and bottle feed doesnt mean your baby isnt getting the best start in life. I know i am a peer supporter but i disagree with the whole pressure that mothers are put under to breastfeed because people say it is best. A happy loving home is what is best so do what is best for you and your circumstances.

  • Thanks for your help and advice ladies.  I really want to breast feed but I can see me expressing after a while and letting hubby take over some of the feeds so I can rest etc.  There is a lot of pressure but it's just not practical with mums going back to work and everything but on the other hand I had absolutely no help with my son and couldn't do it!  Oh well, just have to wait and see.  I need to get the hang of it first!
  • Sarah - my sex drive is way down, not completely off it but tbh not missing it when my oh is away!

    With bf I just don't have any experience, I guess expressing is the best compromise to ge some time to yourself - I don't know what the shell things are Karen, is there a link or something?  That's assuming it all works!  I'm lucky having 2 sisters who bf successfully, so should have family help which is sometimes less biased than from other people.  God I have so much to learn...

  • i really think that you should do whatever you feel is best or that you need to do when breastfeeding. i still feel a bit upset that my health visitor/midwife was so absolute about not mixing breast and bottlefeeding in case ben got confused.. i also thought my milk supply wouldn't keep up if i didn't keep on expressing. as i had to start work when ben was 3 weeks old we didn't have a choice but to introduce bottles, but i wish i'd carried on feeding him at night... i just thought my milk supply would dry up if i didn't express all day, but i couldn't cope with expressing at work as the only place i could really do it would be the toilets.. as it was, i could still produce milk over 6 months after i stopped feeding!!

    this time round i'm just planning on seeing what happens.. but i remember the look on shawn's face when he first gave ben a bottle and i don't want him to miss out on that this time.. plus it would be nice to share some of the night feeds!

    as for sex, it's completely normal to be either way as far as i can make out! your hormones are all over the place, so the books say either your libido is up or it can go right down.. mine has been all over the place!

  • I breastfed all of mine.Harry for 9 weeks,Bridie,Erin and Arthur for eight months,Arwen it was 3 months,Matilda just a month.With Bridie,I gave her a bottle at tea time from about ten weeks.Arthur had a teatime bottle from 6 weeks.With the two youngest,they just didn't put the weight on,so I changed their daytime feeds to formula,as this is when I was most busy.They were both completely on formula by 3 months.My biggest problem was having thetime to feed them whenever they wanted,for as long as they wanted,and on really busy days,my milk supply seemed to disappear.Anyway,you have to find what works for you.
    The sex thing,well,in the beginning couldn't get enough.Don't really go off it at all.Right at the end last time I had this fear my waters might break during.
  • I totally lost my sex drive during pregnancy and still have not got it back yet.I never had a problem being loving and touched tho. I got to the point of being happy if it was never mentioned.Mind you on the funny side i only enjoyed it later in pregnancy as found certain ways were more comfy,also my MW said what got them in gets them outimage.

    I bf Riley for all of 3mths then ended up mixed feeding(hungry bugger)till i dryed up not long after 4/5mths then he went onto the bottle. Id say go with your body if you want to bf but its not alway easy for some but theres no problem with the bottle.

  • my mum wasn't able to breastfeed my little sister at all as she was very ill during her pregnancy so had no milk.. so she was exclusively formula fed and has turned out to be the brightest, fittest and healthiest of all of us, i always keep that in the back of my mind when thinking about breastfeeding!

  • Cat the breast shells are worn on your nipple in your bra to collect leaking milk. I found with Hollie when she fed from one side the milk would pour out the other and would get wasted by being soaked up in the pad. This time i am planning on using these and seeing if it helps especially as i plan to express anyway, so may as well save the milk rather than wasting it. You can buy them from pretty much anywhere like boots, mothercare, toys r us etc.

  • Thanks for the link Karen, they look pretty simple - and cheap, always a good thing!
  • i cant get enough of sex i'm afriad 2say image!! it always seems 2happen with all my pregnancys, i seem 2think about it at least once a day and practicaly do it everyday too! i suppose i'm lucky or my husband is lol!

    breastfeeding wise i managed 2weeks with my last baby but found it hard 2feed when she wanted and 4however long she wanted because of the other two. i wish i had stuck it out and i intend too this time, in many ways apart from the length of the feeds it is more convienient because there are no bottles 2prepair and its already warm so thats cuts out alot of hassle. but i think this time i will use a bottle aswell before bedtime like its bin suggested by the other ladies. i think i will just see how it goes my other two had a bit of breastfeeding and then had bottles ever since x x x x

  • hi amybaby,

    see the slings thread, really handy for bf when youve got your handsfull elsewhere!! good luck xx
  • hi laura!

    funnily enough ive bought one this time the baba sling just 4that reason because i though it will come in handy whilst breastfeeding and sorting out other things. i'm glad my brian is still working 2think of these things lol! ur dong really well with feeding lola btw she is sooooooo cute!!! ur a bit of inspiration 2me coz u've got ur other little one and ur doing really well feeding her i really want2 be able 2do the same! thank u 4the tip x x x

  • thank you image 

    i think she is too, bit of a madam! lol

    just so glad i had the support on here, got me through the hard bits, best bit of advice i was given was ''it gets hard then harder then you suddenly realise your doing it!'' stuck with me and helped alot

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