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Feeling Down Tonight
Hi Ladies
As the title says, am feeling down tonight. I have been quite high for the past couple of weeks, had even started buying a few bits and pieces, and allowing myself to get excited, but tonight I feel like I have come crashing down again...
I think it started as a friend of mine told me of someone she knew who lost twins at just over 20w. Apparently they went for their 20w scan and all was fine, a week later, she had bad cramps, got sent for a scan, only to be told no heartbeats. How devastating.
This has really upset me and all the nagativity I had been feeling previously has risen to the surface again. I'm feeling really emotional as I am typing this. Hubby is gigging tonight and I feel so down....
I also read a story about a lady who had a stillborn too. So upsetting...
I'm now petrified about my 20w scan. Its on 15th Feb.
I have already had a few more than normal scans during this pregnany (early scan at 8w and scan coz of spotting). As most of you know I had 2mmc last year, so this is (hopefully) 3rd time lucky for us.
We have someone we know who is a sonographer, which is brilliant, and am thinking of asking if she could fit me in Mon for a scan, 20w seems such a long way off!!
I have to say that even tho we have a doppler, I still worry, which I know is silly. We have never not found the heartbeat.... I'm yet to feel any movements and I'm sure that when I do, that will be more of a reassurance. Some days I just don't feel pregnant, apart from a growing belly!
Does anyone else feel this way?? Hubby is super positive. And I had been getting that way too, until today.
Have just been in our back room looking at the little bits and pieces we have already got, and am thinking I hope we get to use it....
God....maybe its my hormones, who knows. I feel all over the place!! Anyone care to send me a virtual hug??
Love Zxx
As the title says, am feeling down tonight. I have been quite high for the past couple of weeks, had even started buying a few bits and pieces, and allowing myself to get excited, but tonight I feel like I have come crashing down again...
I think it started as a friend of mine told me of someone she knew who lost twins at just over 20w. Apparently they went for their 20w scan and all was fine, a week later, she had bad cramps, got sent for a scan, only to be told no heartbeats. How devastating.
This has really upset me and all the nagativity I had been feeling previously has risen to the surface again. I'm feeling really emotional as I am typing this. Hubby is gigging tonight and I feel so down....
I also read a story about a lady who had a stillborn too. So upsetting...I'm now petrified about my 20w scan. Its on 15th Feb.
I have already had a few more than normal scans during this pregnany (early scan at 8w and scan coz of spotting). As most of you know I had 2mmc last year, so this is (hopefully) 3rd time lucky for us.
We have someone we know who is a sonographer, which is brilliant, and am thinking of asking if she could fit me in Mon for a scan, 20w seems such a long way off!!
I have to say that even tho we have a doppler, I still worry, which I know is silly. We have never not found the heartbeat.... I'm yet to feel any movements and I'm sure that when I do, that will be more of a reassurance. Some days I just don't feel pregnant, apart from a growing belly!
Does anyone else feel this way?? Hubby is super positive. And I had been getting that way too, until today.
Have just been in our back room looking at the little bits and pieces we have already got, and am thinking I hope we get to use it....
God....maybe its my hormones, who knows. I feel all over the place!! Anyone care to send me a virtual hug??
Love Zxx
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Replies
Baby on Board - seems like you understand me completely! I guess after what we have been through, it is going to be harder to relax. I often wonder how I would be if I hadn't had the miscarriages (or the internet for that matter!) and was blissfully unaware of anything bad that could happen...
We have decided to have a scan tomorrow eve, maybe even try and find out the sex, might help me bond a bit more. Will keep you posted. Thanks again for being there and sending the hug too. xx
Bubabear - thanks for your reply. I remember you saying you felt the same too. I don't think it will be long before hubby banns me from looking up too much stuff either!! The internet has a lot to answer for, eh! Hope you and your little one are doing ok...
Love & Light
Zxx
I found out I'm having a girl a couple of weeks ago, as you know, now I'm just confused on names! Ha ha! It is lovley though to be able to buy things now though - let me know how the scan goes - I'm sure everything is perfect!
As you know, I'm 35 weeks atm, and this morning I had a similar blip. I've not slept properly for weeks as I can't get comfy, and as soon as I do the baby kicks me awake again. Well, last night I slept til 4am, then started panicking because I hadn't felt bubs move for hours. I've got boxes of stuff in my hallway (cotbed, carseat, doubles kit for the buggy etc etc) all not opened yet - and I was worried I would have to send them all back as I thought something had happened while I was asleep.
I came downstairs about 4.30am, and tried drinking a glass of coke, had some biscuits, prodded a bit - nothing. Then at 6.30 M woke up and hubby came down with him, and as soon as bubs heard them he started kicking and moving furiously. I felt like a tit for worrying, but it can't be helped, and I'm sure the next time bubs is a bit quiet I'll worry just as much again.
To top all that off, I've read a few horrific birth stories on another site (not all ended well) and I've been panicking that something will happen. Luckily, a lot of the birth stories did end well, and it's a pleasure to read how the mum's have all fell in love with their little ones - that's what keeps me going.
I'm further along in the pregnancy, but I'm just as worried as you are - it's a natural thing to worry, it's how we're programmed, and it's how we know we'll be good mum's - because we will never stop worrying about them.
Big hugs to you, Mr Z and mini Z. Don't forget to let us know how the scan goes tomorrow xxx
As you can see from the time of this post, I'm not sleeping great tonight, so am on here while the kettle boils!
Poppygirl - lovely to hear from you. Sorry to hear you are feeling like you do. The worry does seem to continue throughout! You think you are safe after 12w, then you worry about the 20w scan and then, like you, perhaps worry if you haven't felt bubbs move for a bt, etc. All the worry, but oh so worth it, eh! I hope you have a better day today - thinking of you xx
kwn - hi sweetie, you are right, I should focus more on the positive stories...hope you doing ok too? I always look out for your updates.
Oh well...kettle has boiled....tea and back to bed for me, will log on tonight and update.
Zxx
PS I def have baby brain, yesterday I had to wrap up a pressie for my mum's birthday, so went into the kitchen to get a pair of scissors, and returned with a spoon!! Ha ha
It does get a lot easier once you are getting regular movement, but then you start to worry when you have a quiet patch - I've spent more time on the floor of my office in the last 7 months than in the previous 8 years!
Doesn't help that one of my good work friends had a stillbirth at 33 weeks, the week I got married, but she now has a lovely little boy of about 13 weeks...
I try mainly just to focus on the good signs, so being exactly where you should be at a certain stage, and bubs having a strong heartbeat whenever you go looking is definitely a good sign. 20 weeks will come around quicker than you think!
Try no to worry I am sure you will be fine. Are you having your scan tonight? Can't wait to read what your having. I am also very scared about my 20 week scan on the 15 February, seems so far away. I was up at the hospital last night as I had been having brown bleeding for 6 days. The Doctor confirmed it is coming from my cervix and definitely not from the baby so nothing to worry about. We need to stay positive x
xxx
Just got back from scan. All ok and we are ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
TEAM PINK!!!!
Can't belive it, I was convinced I was having a little boy!!
She said she's 100% certain and that there are DEF no little boy bits!!
My sonographer friend was really thorough, we were in there for about 20 mins or so. She was pointing everything out, all looking as it should be, thank god! Baby was stretching loads and yawning, she gave us some great pics too...
One thing she did point out, which is quite common, is that there is a little bit of the placenta, which is sort of on its own, can be quite normal, they should pick it up at my 20w scan, just means it needs to be in my notes, as when I deliver the placenta after the baby, they need to make sure its all gone, if that makes sense. She said its nothing to worry about (hmmmm - will try not to worry about that then!!).
Hubby has gone straight to footy now and I'm sat here, typing this, and can't stop looking at my pics. Amazing to think I have a baby girl growing inside, who was moving around soooo much, but I still can't feel ANYTHING!! My friend reckons another 2 weeks or so.
Feel really relieved.....which I hope will last now... Let the shopping commence
Lots of love
Zxx
PS Ellie, so glad the doc has confirmed all ok with your baby - that must be a huge relief for you....
Enjoy the shopping spree!
xxx
xx
just reading your original post and have to say that i totally know how you feel. I am 25 weeks today and after my two losses i fear the worse all the time. I cross off every week as an achievement. I started feeling baby move at about 20 weeks so hopefully you will get this soon and it really is so reassuring.
So then i read down and see that you are having a girl!!!!! Congratulations!
I am so happy for you, as you were in the TTCAMC forum the same time as me so am familiar with your story. I just keep telling myself that for ladies who have been through what we have, we really deserve this and we will make it with our 3rd time lucky babies!
Try not to worry, i know it's almost impossible, but every week into your pregnancy is a week closer to getting your beautiful little girl in your arms.
xxx
Kat - yes I remember you too! Wow you are 25 weeks already!!
Are you finding out what you are having?? I just couldn't resist!!
You are right in what you say, we do really deserve this.
Keep in touch sweetie.
Zxx
We aren't finding out, although when we first got our BFP i was adamant we would. I felt it would help me feel that this was more real after what we had been through. But just changed my mind over night, and am looking forward to our surprise! (although i would love to buying up lots of pink gorgeous things!)
All the best to you, i will keep an eye out for your updates.
kwn - I'm so sure its going to be fine for you this time around too. Quite a few ladies on here who have had 2mc, have gone onto have a successful 3rd pregnancy. Am looking forward to reading news of your scans etc.
Kat - it's hard isn't it. Luckily both hubby and I wanted to find out, don't know what I would have done if he had wanted to have a surprise instead. Probably talked him around....somehow!!
Take it easy.
Zxx