Scared of labour!!!

Replies

• pudding_83

  Oct 15, 2011 12:46PM

  Hi
  
  
  
  I didnt want to leave you hanging so thought I would reply. I'm not particularly scared of labour but that's because very early on I thought to myself (and kept repeating) there's no point in getting myself worked up about it becuase it's GOT to happen. The baby HAS t come out. The way I look at it is I have my ideal birth (water birth) but know this isn't possible if I'm induced. If things don't go to plan then never mind. You're going to be in the best possible hands. Go in with an open mind to whatever may happen and that way you will be more relaxed. I don't want an epidural or c-section but worst case scenario if it's an emergency then I know I'll have to have a section. At the end of the day liste to what the midwive's say. When they tell you to push, push, when they tell you to stop, stop. Talk through your worries with your partner and tell him things you definately don't want unless it's essential (ie a section) That way on the day you have less to worry and panic about as he will be able to speak on your behalf. Don't over think it. Over the next 27 weeks yo'll realise you have no control over your body so there's no point trying to be in control too much at the end.
  
  
  
  Hope I've helped and not scared/worried you even more

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• rosemary20

  Oct 15, 2011 12:57PM

  preparation is the key.
  
  
  
  be informed, understand the physical process, dont be scared of something that may or may not happen. You just need to understand how you can help urself in labour and how you can maximise your own calm.
  
  
  
  have u looked into hypnobirthing? i did this and stayed calm, combine that with a water birth and it felt very serene for a while.
  
  
  
  pushing is the bit i enjoyed the most, u can actually 'do something' with the pain.

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• Lizzie_76

  Oct 15, 2011 1:11PM

  I honestly didn't think it was that bad. Yes, it does hurt, but although I've never broken a bone, I reckon that would be a lot worse.
  
  
  
  As the others have said, it's got to come out. I went into it quite relaxed, it's going to happen and the more you learn about it in advance, the more in control you'll feel.
  
  
  
  I'd also 2nd hypnotherapy, I did the natal hypnotherapy CDs for a few weeks up to the birth and really believed it helped me relax once I got to the hospital (and in the run up).

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• Ruth77

  Oct 15, 2011 2:56PM

  Hello
  
  
  
  I am rubbish with pain & was sure I was going to be a nightmare, but like you I didn't want an epi or section. There are definitely things that you can do to help you prepare. I bought the hypnotherapy book with cd & found it really helped me to relax. I listened to it before I went to sleep, in the bath etc. Also I swam & walked lots and i honestly think this helped me to have a very quick & straightforward labour. I drank rasp leaf tea from 36 weeks (I think, though if you google it it will tell you from when & how much, I was on 4 cups a day by 38/9 weeks). This is meant to help speed up the pushing phase (the worst bit IMO!). I am a secondary school teacher & I just kept thinking "if some of the girls I teach can do this then I certainly can!".
  
  
  
  And I can honestly say that it wasn't that bad. It wasn't a walk in the park & I didn't leave thinking I'd happily do that daily, but it honestly wasn't that horrific. Painful but the most amazing experience I have ever ever been through. I can honestly sa that I cannot wait to do it again.
  
  
  
  You will be fine xx

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• kayssis

  Oct 15, 2011 2:59PM

  For some reason I was really chilled out about labour and birth with ds, I saw it as a challenge in some ways I guess. I'm completely crap with little pain and totally over react if I stub my toe or something similarly small.
  
  
  
  The contractions I found ok as you know each one will pass and you'll have a moment of respite before the next. I honestly don't remember the pain of pushing, there must've been some as I bit oh before he took the gas and air mouthpiece off and stuffed it in mouth instead, the only pain I can remember is the bloody leg cramp I had throughout the pushing stage! In the end I had 2 midwives as ds got a bit stuck and one of them was just trying to rub the cramp out of my legs lol!

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• MrsH6

  Oct 15, 2011 3:03PM

  i agree with above. U have to try and focus the fear you feel into determination. its not easy, but as cliched as it sounds, breathing properly really does help. listen to what the midwives say during labour, they are amazing people! i had a full on panic about how i would cope with labour at about 30 weeks but u will surprise yourself! remember there r no medals... if u need pain relief, ask, its there for a reason! be flexible in your birth plan and go with the flow. xx

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• MrsP

  Oct 16, 2011 6:10PM

  There's some great advice here for you.
  
  
  
  Hypnotherapy is meant to be excellent, I never got round to it but have heard great things. Think about what will help you be relaxed on the day (music, water birth etc) and also be prepared by knowing about what will happen.
  
  
  
  I agree with what everyone has said about baby having to come out. Very early on all my friends (none have kids) were focussed on how awful labour would be and I just kept telling them (and myself) that baby needs to come out so you just have to cope with it.
  
  
  
  I had a very bad tear, but can honestly say the moment they put my little girl on my chest the pain became irrelevant and I was so excited and so proud of what my body had done.
  
  
  
  Please don't be afraid, your body is built for it and even when things don't quite go to plan it doesn't hurt too much. Think positively and by the time it comes to it you'll be ready xx

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• JvLwithBabyBoy

  Oct 17, 2011 12:36PM

  hey
  
  my son is now just over 10 weeks old and i had a very fast and very intense labour. until my waters broke contractions were every 3-4min apart and i wasnt even conviced i was in labour as they werent that bad, this stage lasted around 3h from first twinge to waters breaking when i was 3cm. it took only another 3h from established labour to pushing and i admit that was very painful. im pretty sure i woke everybody up with my screaming lol. i did have an epidural but because the midwife didnt realise exactly how fast i was progressing, the stupid thing started working just as i was ready to push so in hindsight it was so not worth it. however much its hurts though its doable and i swear to you, after 2 days i told my husband im happy to do it again. im not looking fwd to giving birth as such but you just have to keep in mind that its SO worth it. more than you can ever imagine. its a few hours which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. that moment when you first hold your baby wipes out everything else. xx

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• GlitterBug09

  Oct 18, 2011 7:46AM

  My biggest peice of advice would be to not discount any of the pain relief options, especially the epidural. I wanted to do it all naturally but as my pregnancy progressed I learned that the best thing to do was to keep an open mind. Im really glad I did becuase when it came to it I had quite a few complications. Firstly I had been admitted to hospital because of high blood pressure, I was booked in for an induction but went into labour naturally after having a sweep. When the contractions first started they were really manageble. I breathed right through them and joked and chatted to my husband. Then when they got closer together it became harder to breathe through them but I was coping. The pain that you feel will not be the worst pain you have ever felt in your life, breaking a bone is more painful. The trouble is, it is a relentless pain that comes in waves and you get tired. When my contractions were 1 minute apart I assumed because of the baby books id read that I was almost there and would be pushing soon and I felt like I could do it. But when they examined me I was only 4cm dialated and was told that I wasnt dialating properly. The baby was back to back so I was also having contractions in my back as well as my tummy which im told makes it more painful. I had to stay still on the bed because I was hooked up to machines monitoring me and the baby because of my blood pressure so I couldnt walk around or take a bath or do any of the things that might help me cope so I decided to have an epidural. It was amazing!! I could still move my legs and feel my feet. I could also still feel the contractions and the baby squirming, it just didnt hurt as much. I ended up having to have lots of internal examinations, my waters broken, a hormone drip to help me dialate and after the baby was born, my placenta manually removed! But, the epidural meant I was mostly pain free and I could relax and enjoy the process. Even the pushing stage was brilliant, and dare I say, easy. I think that had I been dialating properly I would have managed to give birth without using any pain relief, but im so glad I had the epidural. I was contracting every minute for 10 hours so I wouldnt have got through without it. I also liked the fact that I was offered a 'top up' every half an hour but I didnt have to take it. Infact I only topped up every hour so It didnt take long at all for it to wear off afterwards. I was in the shower cleaning up within two hours of giving birth, and it only took that long because my daughter breastfed for and hour and a half! Good luck, you will be fine though, and you will feel brilliant after! x

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