🚨 Advance warning 🚨 This forum will be closing on 1st May – please see our pinned thread for more information.
Scared of labour!!!
helloo!!
I'm on 13 weeks pregnant but I am terrified of labour!! lol my boyfriends mum is a midwife, luckily, and all she can say is that you have to not be scared because that can make it harder....to be honest thats just scared me more!
i'm a complete b*tch when it comes to pain! and I just keep thinking I wont be able to do it. I dont want a c-section or epidural though ( i know i should just do that or shut up moaning )
but is there anyone who was scared and got some advice to calm them down??
I cry when I think about pushing it out!! its not contractions or anything that scares me....just the bit of it coming out. help!!! lol
x x x
I'm on 13 weeks pregnant but I am terrified of labour!! lol my boyfriends mum is a midwife, luckily, and all she can say is that you have to not be scared because that can make it harder....to be honest thats just scared me more!
i'm a complete b*tch when it comes to pain! and I just keep thinking I wont be able to do it. I dont want a c-section or epidural though ( i know i should just do that or shut up moaning )
but is there anyone who was scared and got some advice to calm them down??
I cry when I think about pushing it out!! its not contractions or anything that scares me....just the bit of it coming out. help!!! lol
x x x
0
Replies
I didnt want to leave you hanging so thought I would reply. I'm not particularly scared of labour but that's because very early on I thought to myself (and kept repeating) there's no point in getting myself worked up about it becuase it's GOT to happen. The baby HAS t come out. The way I look at it is I have my ideal birth (water birth) but know this isn't possible if I'm induced. If things don't go to plan then never mind. You're going to be in the best possible hands. Go in with an open mind to whatever may happen and that way you will be more relaxed. I don't want an epidural or c-section but worst case scenario if it's an emergency then I know I'll have to have a section. At the end of the day liste to what the midwive's say. When they tell you to push, push, when they tell you to stop, stop. Talk through your worries with your partner and tell him things you definately don't want unless it's essential (ie a section) That way on the day you have less to worry and panic about as he will be able to speak on your behalf. Don't over think it. Over the next 27 weeks yo'll realise you have no control over your body so there's no point trying to be in control too much at the end.
Hope I've helped and not scared/worried you even more
be informed, understand the physical process, dont be scared of something that may or may not happen. You just need to understand how you can help urself in labour and how you can maximise your own calm.
have u looked into hypnobirthing? i did this and stayed calm, combine that with a water birth and it felt very serene for a while.
pushing is the bit i enjoyed the most, u can actually 'do something' with the pain.
As the others have said, it's got to come out. I went into it quite relaxed, it's going to happen and the more you learn about it in advance, the more in control you'll feel.
I'd also 2nd hypnotherapy, I did the natal hypnotherapy CDs for a few weeks up to the birth and really believed it helped me relax once I got to the hospital (and in the run up).
I am rubbish with pain & was sure I was going to be a nightmare, but like you I didn't want an epi or section. There are definitely things that you can do to help you prepare. I bought the hypnotherapy book with cd & found it really helped me to relax. I listened to it before I went to sleep, in the bath etc. Also I swam & walked lots and i honestly think this helped me to have a very quick & straightforward labour. I drank rasp leaf tea from 36 weeks (I think, though if you google it it will tell you from when & how much, I was on 4 cups a day by 38/9 weeks). This is meant to help speed up the pushing phase (the worst bit IMO!). I am a secondary school teacher & I just kept thinking "if some of the girls I teach can do this then I certainly can!".
And I can honestly say that it wasn't that bad. It wasn't a walk in the park & I didn't leave thinking I'd happily do that daily, but it honestly wasn't that horrific. Painful but the most amazing experience I have ever ever been through. I can honestly sa that I cannot wait to do it again.
You will be fine xx
The contractions I found ok as you know each one will pass and you'll have a moment of respite before the next. I honestly don't remember the pain of pushing, there must've been some as I bit oh before he took the gas and air mouthpiece off and stuffed it in mouth instead, the only pain I can remember is the bloody leg cramp I had throughout the pushing stage! In the end I had 2 midwives as ds got a bit stuck and one of them was just trying to rub the cramp out of my legs lol!
Hypnotherapy is meant to be excellent, I never got round to it but have heard great things. Think about what will help you be relaxed on the day (music, water birth etc) and also be prepared by knowing about what will happen.
I agree with what everyone has said about baby having to come out. Very early on all my friends (none have kids) were focussed on how awful labour would be and I just kept telling them (and myself) that baby needs to come out so you just have to cope with it.
I had a very bad tear, but can honestly say the moment they put my little girl on my chest the pain became irrelevant and I was so excited and so proud of what my body had done.
Please don't be afraid, your body is built for it and even when things don't quite go to plan it doesn't hurt too much. Think positively and by the time it comes to it you'll be ready xx
my son is now just over 10 weeks old and i had a very fast and very intense labour. until my waters broke contractions were every 3-4min apart and i wasnt even conviced i was in labour as they werent that bad, this stage lasted around 3h from first twinge to waters breaking when i was 3cm. it took only another 3h from established labour to pushing and i admit that was very painful. im pretty sure i woke everybody up with my screaming lol. i did have an epidural but because the midwife didnt realise exactly how fast i was progressing, the stupid thing started working just as i was ready to push so in hindsight it was so not worth it. however much its hurts though its doable and i swear to you, after 2 days i told my husband im happy to do it again. im not looking fwd to giving birth as such but you just have to keep in mind that its SO worth it. more than you can ever imagine. its a few hours which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. that moment when you first hold your baby wipes out everything else. xx