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Pregnant and Issues at Work

Hi Ladies,



I need a bit of advice regarding work - I am so worried. Apologies in advance for the essay!





I started this job last June so have been here for 8 months. I found out I am pregnant yesterday so its very early days but I am so worried about my work situation. I made a mistake on something for my boss last week; nothing huge but he went absolutely nuts about it and went to HR/my manager with a -list' of things I have done wrong. I had a meeting with my manager yesterday who gave me what I think is a formal warning. They have basically said if I make one mistake I will be fired image



I have done this role in other organisations for 10 years and I am totally capable, it was a really silly mistake and when I went in for the chat yesterday I honestly didn't expect there to be anything else he had an issue with.



I think he was so mad about it he has blown it up into something huge and now I'm in the position where I may lose my job. I'm petrified about putting a foot wrong!



I had my first appraisal back in November and it was good, there was one tiny thing I was asked to work on which I have gone out of my way to do and before this happened last week I have been constantly told I am doing a great job.



I haven't told work about the pregnancy yet as its so early days but I'm wondering if I should, perhaps they will think more before -finding' things wrong?



I really want to keep my job and will be working hard to do everything I can to make them happy but I'm not sure if now he has a bee in his bonnet he will be finding fault with everything.



I'm also confused about what I would be entitled to if I did lose my job; would I be eligible for SMP or Maternity Allowance? My OH works and has a well paid job if this affects anything.



I just need some advice really to put my mind at rest a bit so I can enjoy this instead of worrying about work!



Thanks in advance x
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Replies

  • hi ipenama didnt want to r and r as i feel so bad for you! Im sure all you want to do is enjoy this exciting time, and i know how it feels to have clouds hanging over you at work, it can dominate your life.



    I wouldnt tell them about your pregnancy until your first scan (this is only my opinion) - as if, god forbid, anything happened to the pregnancy i, personally, would be worried about them viewing me as an employee that is likely to get pregnant again. You're right though as a pregnant woman your employer will probably think twice about treating you unfairly, so i would probably say after first trimester in writing so that all the right things happen.



    If all you've had is positive feedback apart from a couple of little things (which presumably you'd expect as we should all be learning and progressing in jobs) then it seems unfair and that you arent being communicated with clearly. Maybe someone working in HR could give you more advice.



    If you lost your job and not sure you'd be entitled to SMP but it would be really hard for them to sack you - they have to have a serious case - especially if you're pregnant x
  • Hi Alfie222 - thank you so much for responding - its such a worry and you're right I just want to enjoy this time and not have this on my mind!

    Part of me knows that work is the least important thing at a time like this but at the same time I've always worked and I really hate the thought of being viewed as though I can't do my job.



    I think maybe you're right about not telling them just yet as it is such early days. Waiting for 8 weeks for my first scan seems like so long to wait though there isn't much else I can do I suppose!



    It is a couple of little things and I didn't even realise he was unhappy with me as he has never said anything to me but instead after this one incident took a list of things to my manager and she then had to talk to me. Strange set up and I feel like I'm 15 again!

    She has basically said if I make one mistake I will be fired. I went through 12 interviews to get this job :roll:



    I have wittered on for long enough but thanks so much for commenting. Would still welcome other views if anyone has any - sometimes it just helps to write it all down!
  • Hi Ipanema,



    If I were you (and this is only my opinion, feel free to ignore this!) I woud treat this situation as if there was not an issue with your pregnancy (Congrats, by the way!). If you were given an appraisal last year where nothing major was mentioned and this is the first you have heard about any problems, then I would speak to you manager again. There should be a defined disciplinary procedure for employees involving verbal (but still needs to be in writing) and written (usually three in total) before you are on your final warning. So check your employment contract or employee handbook and speak to HR if you don't have either of these.



    Regardless of your pregnancy, it does sound like you've been treated unfairly. Unless you are still on probation, in which case, they can pretty much do what they choose!



    In regard to your pregnancy, I would also wait until your 12 week scan, unless it is affecting your work. In which case, it might be better to tell them, just so they don't think you're slacking. I would be cautious about assuming that you are "safe" because of your pregnancy. I don't want to be a scarmongerer, but a pregnant employee can still be fired or made redundant, unless you have reason to believe that this was done because you are pregnant.



    I have a similar situation at work, so I completely empathise. I've now found a new job to go back to when I come back off maternity, which is such a relief!



    Hope it goes well for you xx
  • Thanks for your input Windymiller, it really helps to hear other opinions rather than going over it in my head and wondering what the best thing is to do.



    I think I will definitely not say anything just yet and just try to keep my head down and hope he doesn't find fault! I know that pregnancy isn't an excuse or a reason not to fire me but I thought it might possibly make them be a little bit less hasty; the things he has complained about are really nitpicking (and I don't agree I did anything wrong with half of it) and I feel worse about it all because I've had nothing but praise prior to this so its come out of the blue.

    I don't understand that way of working; not have any problems, a good appraisal then I'm the worlds worst employee.



    I'm glad you have found something for after your maternity if you are having a tough time too - this should be the best time in our lives, right?



    Think I need to change industries and lose the egotistical bosses! x
  • Hi there,



    I have to say i would probably do the opposite and use the situation a little to my advantage! I know that sounds awful but you have to look out for number one. Perhaps not now, but maybe in a few weeks i would tell them and you may find they go easier on you and certainly wouldn't want to sack a pregnant wooman, especially one who has had no performance issues until now.



    with regards to being unemployed (if the worst should happen which i'm sure it won't!) i think that you are entitled to the same benefits as SMP but its called the maternity allowance - so you won't lose out on any money if you aren't employed. Have a look at the direct.govwebsite to put your mind at rest.



    I hope they are a bit nicer to you and everything works out x
  • I would treat the two thing separately for the time being.



    Your manager cannot just give you a formal warning without following a clear process. If it is a formal disciplinary situation, then you have certain rights, e.g. given notice for the meeting, allowed to bring a representative with you etc. You would also have any outcome confirmed in writing and would have the right to appeal the decision (and it sounds like you would have very strong grounds for an appeal!). I would talk to your HR department as a matter of urgency to update them on the situation. Your managers ongoing assertion that you will be fired if you make another mistake sounds like borderline bullying to me, particularly on the basis that you've previously had positive feedback.



    Re: the pregnancy, I would wait for the time being. Unless the job means that you need to tell them for some reason, I think it would be better to get the first situation resolved before bringing it up.



    Good luck!
  • I would agree with Lizzie - and I'm speaking from experience! I was sacked while pregnant, they knew I was and it was one week before I'd been there a year. If you haven't been employed a year then the statutory rules don't apply!
  • Your boss sounds like a total bully. Like someone else has already mentioned, there should be set processes in place. I can't see how they can sack you after just one more mistake. Have they given you a formal disciplinary and written warning? I'm sure (but not certain) that they they are required by law to do this. If I were you I would become as familiar as possible with your rights and I would delay telling about your pregnancy for as long as practically possible. Perhaps you could set up a confidential meeting with someone from your HR department to raise your concerns e.g that your last appraisal went well? I would document everything, cover your back. Another thing to note - is your company going through any financial problems at the moment? Sometimes when this happens they try to use any excuse to try and get rid of employees without making them redundant.



    God I really am gobsmaked. He has been totally heavy handed. Don't let that tw@t get to you. He sounds like an idiot
  • One last thing I forgot to mention. I would take full advantage of your maternity leave. As long as you return to work for (I think but you will have to check) 2 months following your period of maternity cover, then if you resign you will not have to pay any of your maternity pay back. Personally there is no way I could put up with a boss like yours so I would be planning my escape now!



    Good luck x
  • Hi All,

    Thanks again for all the replies, it really is reassuring just to have a bit of support!



    My manager hasn't put anything in writing for me so maybe it was a verbal warning - I am going to have a look and see what the stages are.



    He did originally go to HR as my manager was away so they know all about it. My manager is trying to help me in a way; she has said just to pick it up and she has put weekly catch ups for the two of us to go over things (I'm not sure even what we will be discussing, I just feel like my work is being checked). She is on one hand trying to help but at the same time my boss is a powerful figure in the company and there is no way she will go against anything he has said or sympathise with me outwardly.

    If I set up a meeting with HR my manager will know about it and I think that will be viewed as a bit of a challenge to them potentially? I don't want to ruin things with my manager because I think she is trying to be sympathetic at least and I feel like they'll then come out all guns blazing if I do that.



    I do feel like I'm treading on eggshells waiting to slip up in some way and it'll result in me being fired. Even though you get maybe three written warnings, in theory I think whatever he wants to say will go ad he will get what he wants if he doesn't want me working for him?



    The company has no problems and it doing fantastically...

    The girl who did this role before me is lovely but completely perfect it seems; she did the role for 5 years so knows it and him inside and out so I've got a bit of a battle on my hands if he expects me to walk in and know everything AND read his mind too :roll:



    My plan I think is to try to survive the next 7 months and all being well (please God!) escape for a year's maternity and line something up for after that. I also read on our website today that the earliest I could go on maternity would be 28 weeks so that might be another thing to think about.



    Thank you so so much for the valuable advice!
  • Sorry for the essay!
  • I hope it works out well for you. If you ever feel like the situation is getting to you then focus on your pregnancy and the exciting times ahead. Take care x
  • Hi

    Am awkward situation but I would just concentrate on the work side of things for now. My friend works in HR and like the others say there are procedures to be followed in any disciplinary actions. You should have been informed of the issues formally and then a verbal warning and then written or even been put on review before any final action is taken.

    I would personally speak to HR about what has happened and see exactly what the situation is, you need to know if its a warning or not so you can see where you stand. Regardless or being pregnant or not you have rights to be treated as per the HR procedure so I would make sure you are.

  • Hi Ladies,



    Thanks again for all your advice on this issue. Its actually gotten worse so I thought I would post an update.

    So it was left that I had to have wkly catch ups with my manager to see how things were going. I had one where she had had no feedback, then another one today (after she had had a catch up with my boss).

    The past month I have gone absolutely out of my way to not make any mistakes, and basically try to pre-empt anything he might need and go above and beyond to try to please him. He has had a bad attitude with me, pretty much dismissing anything I ask or have to say. Everything that he has said to me has had a sarcastic tone and he has been talking down to me in front of other people.

    I have been trying to rise above it and not let it get to me! I really have tried my best and have felt like no matter what I have been doing he doesn't want me to do the job (and this has now been proven and pretty much said!)



    I am now 10 weeks pregnant but still hadn't mentioned anything.

    So today my manager pulls me in and says that its not good news and that I can't work for the company anymore. She didn't give me any details on me doing anything wrong, but has, in so many words, agreed that he has written me off and doesn't want me to work for him. He doesn't trust me (not confidentiality wise but to be able to do my work).

    Basically they have had me coming in every day, worrying myself sick about this and treading on eggshells around him when its been completely pointless and they don't want me there anyway.



    My manager/HR have said that they will pay me a month's notice, plus another month and that I can tell people whatever I want, i.e I have resigned. They said I can work my notice or just walk out now. I think they are doing everything they can to ensure I just feel I have no other option to resign.

    The last things I said to the HR lady was that I am pregnant, there is no way I can walk away from the company with 2 months pay and that this is all very unfair and has been handled really badly. That's how I left it with her and I am supposed to now call her tomorrow.



    They gave me a verbal warning originally but nothing in writing and I don't believe they have grounds to sack me based on what it is he has said.

    I really do feel like I haven't done anything wrong.



    My plan is now to call HR tomorrow, re-iterate what I have said about not walking away from the job and see what they come back with.



    Any advice greatly appreciated! Apologies for the waffle!
  • Hi sorry for the brief reply, I'm off to bed soon but I just wanted to say their treatment of you has been downright disgusting and it sounds like they are trying to pull a fast one. Do not trust their hr dept as they should have given you a written warning and followed proper procedures. If I were you I would be seeking independent legal advice. Is there anyway they could have found out that you are pregnant and are trying to force you out because of that? Good luck and please don't let them get away with it.
  • Thanks pitter_patter. They may have guessed that I am pregnant but I don't think that is the reason, I think he just doesn't like me and what he says goes.

    I am going to speak to HR today, stick to my guns and say I'm not in a position to resign with 2 months pay, they're leaving me no options as I won't be able to find full time employment and I also won't be entitled to any maternity pay.

    I am hoping that they will come back and offer me more. If they don't budge, I'll say that I'm not signing anything and will be seeking advice.



    What is helping is the fact that I know others have been through similar situations and I think these companies think they can do whatever they want and you have to take it. Part of me does feel like just walking away and forgetting about it but also inside I am raging about how unjust it all is!
  • Aww Hun, that's rubbish.



    I think you should call acas before speaking to work today. Sadly in the first year of employment you don't have as many rights and you are NOT protected from unfair dismissal. I know it sounds crap but in this time frame, they can dismiss you with little to no reason at all I'm afraid.



    I don't want to sound pessimistic, but I wouldn't want you to end up worse off because you challenge this. You have done enough work to qualify for maternity allowance which is the same rate as smp (except it's the same flat rate for the first six weeks and not 90% of salary) and this can start from something like 28 weeks.



    I'd be looking at the positives of this situation - they're going to give you two month's full pay, which they don't have to do at all, and allow you to say you resigned if you want, which again they don't have to do.



    When I looked at constructive dismissal a few years ago, I was advised you are only likely to be awarded a couple of month's salary, so I think you wouldn't stand to gain that much financially. And as you're in your first year, I'm not sure you could go to tribunal anyway.



    Now, I may be completely wrong here, but I think it's better to err on the side of caution, as I'm not sure how you stand legally. From what I know, whilst it's unfair and crappy, I'm not sure there's a lot you can do about it.



    So please give acas a call before speaking to work as they will ultimately know best. It could also be worth a trip to the job centre this morning as they will have experience of these sorts of situations.



    If it were me, I'd take the money, spend the time looking for a new job (you'll still be entitled to the same statutory mat leave as you would had you already been employed when getting pg) and leave this crappy experience in the past as it can't be good for you and baby.



    Very best of luck with it all xx
  • Hi Dudders,

    Thanks for this info - I actually didn't realise that with under a year's service you basically have no rights!

    I just spoke to ACAS and they basically said the same thing.

    I think what I'll do is speak to HR and see what they say, not mention anything about legal advice etc but still not commit to resigning or signing anything.



    Good to know that I should still be entitled to some maternity, that is helpful.



    Thank you SO much for your advice!
  • You're welcome. Sometimes things sound like they really shouldn't be possible, but they are! Good luck when you speak to HR this morning, and keep us updated xx
  • hi ipanema



    so sorry this has got so bad image my OH has always worked hard, he'd never had a disciplinary procedure against him ever - then he was sacked out of the blue for barely anything in the first year of a new job. The two reasons they cited were that he had not correctly filled in a holiday form, and that he had denied he was on call one week - he had been told, as it was the first week of employment he would not be expected to work on calls, so he was merely questioning the fact he'd been put on it despite previously being told he wouldn't be. He still worked it. And he worked all of christmas and new year for them. He got on with everybody, but they were in financial trouble and so rather unpleasantly picked on him. We were both shocked that the law didnt protect him in any way. He had no written warnings. We'd only paid one month of our new mortgage - it was awful. Luckily he found work quickly, he only lost a months pay, and he didnt even put them on his CV as he wasnt in the job long and had other references. I can understand why you're so upset though - it's horrible.



    I think dudders has some very good advice, the only thing you can get out of this now is the fact you can get some distance between yourselves and these horrible people who are stressing you out. I feel so sorry for you though as i know maternity pay is a worry. xx
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