So confused and upset

Replies

• oscar2

  Sep 18, 2012 11:52PM

  hi mrs salsa sorry to hear you are feeling so upset, i think doctors sometimes think you are a human being with experiences and fears and that you want information and support to make your decision. I can't tell you a repeat forceps is impossible but it is much MUCH more unlikely with a second, being as a first has paved the way and all the muscles have moved out the way for one baby.

  The recovery after a vaginal birth is obviously much quicker than a caesarean too which is something to consider when you already have a LO. Infection is a risk too after surgery and its a major operation that you really dont get any time to recover from.

  Im not sure what kind of perineal trauma you had (i know you will have had an episiotomy, but not if this continued into a tear) tearing is a lot less common too with a second and not nearly as likely you'll need stiches, but if you had a 3rd degree tear that can occur again and is tough to recover from, so a lot of women choose ceasarean in that instance.

  the other thing to think about is that if an instrumental birth becomes necessary, a forceps with a high head (where baby's head is still mostly in the uterus and not very descended into the birh canal) tends to be more traumatic than a low forceps. If the head is low ventouse would usually be used unless it was at the wrong angle, and then if forceps are used it tends to be gentler. You could say that if the baby is still high (which would mean a transfer to theatre to do the forceps) you'd rather go straight for caesarean, as you'll be in there anyway!

  It seems a shame to bhead straight for surgery when your chances of forceps are so much diminished, but not knowing the details of your perineal trauma and infection its difficult to say the chances of this reoccuring. psychologically you need to come to terms with whatever decision you make. could you talk to your midwife about some kind of debriefing service to go through the notes from last time? the midwives/doctors who run this service are amazing and in helping you to understand that experience they'll help you envisage how you want this one to be. xx

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• Hayley 2

  Sep 30, 2012 1:49PM

  Hi I had an elective c section with my first, I have tocophobia brought on from a previous 2nd trimester miscarriage. I had myself in such a state over giving birth it became not even an option for me so I can't advise on a normal birth however my c-section was brilliant for me, the only stress I had was worrying over the needles but my baby was delivered safely within minutes, I was in pain afterwards which was bearable, 3 days later I was slowly walking round the shops with my son, 6 weeks later I was riding horses again, I know all women at different but don't worry too much about the c-section for me it was brilliant and im 12 weeks with my 2nd now and will be having another section x

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• Mrssalsa

  Sep 30, 2012 9:44PM

  Thank you for your replies. I am still very torn about what to do. My tear was 2nd degree but the scarring from the stitches ripping from infection really affected me mentally especially because it is your bits!
  
  
  
  Wish I had a crystal ball!

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