Feeling a little alone

This is probably just a useless waffle but I feel a little alone in terms of medical care. My GP doesnt have anything to do with maternity and you see the midwife alone. I saw my MW on 30 Dec for my booking appt and had my early scan on 2 Jan. At this point, the antenatal clinic booked my NT scan and said they would need the shared care referral forms from my MW. I was further along than I thought and they said to make MW aware so she would send my forms in for shared care. I called the community MW team office and it wasnt picking up. The mobile on the machine message was switched off too. I called the antenatal clinic who said they hadnt had anything and gave me my MW's mobile number. She said he hadnt had chance to drop the paperwork in yet and that she would have plenty of time to do it (what about the bloods she also took that day? Were they rattling round her handbag somewhere?!) 

I keep feeling dizzy which is something Im not used to and don't like. I called my GP to see if my bloods had come back and she said I would need to speak direct with the MW. 

Its silly I know but Im scared of calling the MW and the team for fear of being told I'm mithering etc. Does anyone else feel the same?



  • My midwife team r the same and doctors are about as much use as a fart in a spacesuit when it comes to maternity care. I've only seen a midwife (when I say a, I mean usually different ones and not the one I'm supposed to see who I saw all the way thru with my first) 4 times and I only have a month to go and am supposed to be high risk! They weren't even bothered about baby being breech n quite happy to leave it till I'm 37+ weeks to even scan me (Baring in mind I'm at risk of prem birth n had my first in my 38th week) They're lovely ladies and do a fab job I just think they're so overworked and understaffed. But something that they see as trivial is important to us especially if ur a first timer.  I'm dreading calling them when I go in to labour. They were so blasé about it last time and wouldn't let me come in till the point when i almost had her on the way to the bloody hospital :/ x

  • I think you are right. (I nearly spat my tea out at the spacesuit comment!!)

    Ive called and my MW was actually there. She said she didnt think my blood results would have come back but that she would check. She then said they had come back and all was fine. I said about feeling dizzy and tired all the time and she said its common to feel like that and as there's nothing "wrong" I would just have to put up with it. I do think you're also right about being overworked and understaffed but when it's a first timer (and someone who will be shared care too because of medical complications) you would think a little more tact and niceness wouldnt go a miss!

    She also tried to tell me that the antenatal clinic had all my paperwork and that they must have had it elsewhere. When she told me on 3 Jan she hadnt even sent it them yet!

  • Oh dear, this isn't at all good, I wanna hug you both! I live in the same county as LH and have to say I've received really good care from both my gp and midwife. I'm also high risk so am under the care of a consultant too, that has been a bit hit and miss as the 1st appt was brilliant but the second one a complete waste of time. Last weeks appt was ok but I think it's because I'm getting to the end. Gotta go in 4 wks so I'll see what happens

    I totally agree, everyone is overworked and understaffed but they still have an obligation to look after you properly and make you feel cared for and listened to! I actually work for the NHS and it hurts me to say that sometimes it's a real embarrassment! I know it's not ideal but tell them how you feel, tell them this is all new to you so you need to ask lots of questions etc.. if things don't get better tell them ud like to make a compliant as it'll have to be investigated xxx I hope that helps a bit although not at all ideal! Sending hugs xxx


  • I have to say midwives at LRI are amazing I had the best care when I gave birth to Caitlin, was delivered by a student n can't wait to go back there. And the regular south wigston midwife is like a best friend such a shame I haven't seen her this time (not that the ladies I see aren't friendly enough). It's my doctors surgery that are complete pony, and the community midwives are a bit shite too and the prem prevention clinic at the LRI sucks as well (consultant couldn't find my cervix.....!) although they have a great sense of humour there (went for swabs with tissue stuck to my bits after doing a pee sample, I was mortified but they found it hilarious haha) x

  • I think I struggle as I have a medical condition I have always managed since turning 16 and have always been very involved with GP's, consultants etc so it feels a bit alien to have someone be so curt. I talked to my mum about it tonight and she said I might also be being a bit sensitive as Im tired. As she said, the MW does it day in day out so whats odd etc to me, is run of the mill to her so maybe that's why shes being like that. But also, on the flip side, she needs to perhaps remember I am a first time mum with some concerns etc and perhaps just seeking assurance from someone who knows. I am actually quite looking forward to seeing my consultant. In the MWs defence, I have probably come across a bit bolshy about her getting the paperwork to the hospital and asking about my blood results (which were all fine by the way, although Ive no clue what she was testing for!!) but its because I always have had to be with my medical condition (hydrocephalus in case you are wondering).

    Thanks for listening girls, I appreciate it xxx

  • Omg LH, that made me laugh out loud about the tissue stuck to your bits! Not aware of the community midwifes as the midwife I see at my gp surgery now is the one I see when baby is born.

    MrsW, yes we're all a bit sensitive sometimes but I agree, midwife needs to know how scared we get sometimes so she should be patient lol.

    Glad you're both ok xxx we all help each other out when we can, no worries xxx

  • Hi ladies 

    its the same round here so understaffed and over worked but like you have mentioned ud expect a little bit more of a caring attitude towards you, with my first the hospital wouldn't even I acknowledge I was in labour and I was screaming down the phone she to,d me to wait till morning I was that scared to ring before as I thought they knew best i ended up delivering by myself in my bathroom ( iv never been so scared) I was also 5 weeks early and it took the midwife on call took 3 hours to come to me so I'd just delivered still had placenta to come and couldn't move this was 6year ago and paramedics weren't allowed to move a lady whod given birth without a midwife being present allthough the paramedics were great the wasn't a lot they cud do, when my son was born he wasn't very full of life shall we say and was starting to go a very blue colour, after 3 long hours she finally arrived full face of make up and  smelling fresh ( bear in mind this was 5am when she got the call sh arrived at just gone 8am.) I asked what had taken her so long she casually said oh my bloody sat nat annoyed me so I turned the thing of and got lost!! WTF! It turns out my little boy needed amidiate medical care and due to her being this late he didn't get that so ended up in neonatel for 7weeks was a horrific  time! i can now confirm this pecific midwife has now been saced! 


    So I totally know where u ladies are coming from.

    sorry for the essay lol

    oh and congrats to you all ????x

  • Omg how horrendous!! X

  • Omg SB thats horrible!

    My midwife is a bit ditzie. Shes lovely but with this being my first and the way she can be and also same goes to the hospital staff I'm scared lol.

    When i had some blood tests a while back I seen my midwife a few weeks after and the first thing she said was "we got your blood tests mixed up didn't we" i was like what? How? Is everything ok?

    But i did have the correct results so i haven't a clue what made her say that unless she got me mixed up with someone else! And then the staff at the hospital are so rude. When i was first waiting for my dating scan midwife said to ring the unit to see when the date would be so i rung the number she gave me. I said to the woman on the phone "hi my midwife has given me this number..." She stopped me before i could say anything else and said "let me stop you u right there you have came through to the wrong department" she put me through to switch board and they was like no that was the right extension number and put me through to them again!

    No one seems to no what they are doing and its making me dread labour. Im nearly 21 weeks and time is going fast!

    Sorry for the essay lol but when i tell my boyfriend he's like stop being daft. Im sure if he was the one carrying the baby he would be much worse then me! Lol. Im thinking of joining a group so i can get to no some mums to be and meet them for a drink and chat x
  • I really enjoyed groups with my first especially the baby groups after I'd had her. Still best mates with some people now and cuz all the kids go school together it's really nice. There's loads of mums at school either due in the next 2 months or just had babies so that's handy too x

  • I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling alone and a little lost. I spoke to the charity who deal with my Hydrocephalus that I have spoke to over the years for various information and was told that I should be perfectly fine to have a normal birth as I don't have a shunt in place and all my surgery now, albeit re-routing my fluid a different way, is natural with no foreign bodies inside. She was extremely helpful and said that at the end of the day, I know if I am well or not and not to just take what any obestetrics/gynae tell me just because they tell me to. She said they might need some input from my neuro team so I called up the hospital I used to be under (my consultant retired a few years ago and I never heard anything about a new consultant) to be told I didnt have a consultant at all, it would be X and I would need to see my GP to be referred to him!!! What a faff! I now have an appointment with my GP on 16 Jan to ask him about it. All because they didnt transfer my care to someone else!!!

  • Bloody hell MrsW, you're going through it at the mo, good luck with getting it all sorted xxx

    omg SB, you poor thing, sounds so very scary, it's not at all good. Take care everyone xxx

  • i have to say im finding the mw lack of interest infuriating.

    my mw is 12!! im sure of it!! and although i know she must of had all the training all i think when i see her is how are you old enough to know anything!!! 

    ive only met her once and she refurred me to a consultant and when i realised my app with the consultant was weeks and weeks away and im sure i should be seen sooner i called and left a message. still waiting for her to call back!!! 

    i seem to be getting tightnings and its pointless calling her about them as i wont hear back im not overly concerened as i think i remember having them early on before but it would be nice to be able to call or even txt to ask her??

  • Haa haa 12 that's hilarious! They should definitely call u back  I have to leave at least 3 messages before I get a call back and the community midwife office speaks to u like a piece of crap, like they're far too busy with real problems x

  • Im dreading what the delivery women will be like when im in labour! My cousin is a midwife and i would love it if she could deliver mu baby but she doesnt work at that hospital image

    The midwife who rung me last night sounded so old and strict. Im glad shes not my midwife i see lol x
  • From past experience the midwifes on the labour ward are far better than the community ones and just wait until the world of health visitors hits us!
  • What are the health visitors like?

    Im worried when i have my first one. Could imagine them to be like do this do that your doing it wrong do it like this x
  • Nosey bastards lol x

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