please help me ladies, i don't know what to do :'(
I'm sorry to be a serial poster bu i honestly don't know what to do and am so angry and confused right now i feel i cannot make a decision....
i have a blood disorder which means my blood clots abnormally and is too thick, when you're pregnant your blood thickens again meaning you're at risk of blood clots anyway but with the added blood disorder my chances go up ten fold. after having a section with my last daughter i got a clot on my lung which again increases my risk of getting another clot greatly. as the clot was in my lung it was life threatening and i had injections of clexane twice daily and warfarin everyday for six months (ended in november) to disperse the clot.
i have three children and have had seven misscarriages, out of eleven pregnancies (this one included) only three of those babies survived to term those three surviving children were the only three i refused to take the blood thinner clexane, all seven of the misscarriages the babies died within two weeks of starting the drug. a consultant at the recurrent misscarriages unit told me the clexane causes misscarriage but "we don't care about the baby as we have to make sure YOU'RE safe" as I'd never had a clot at that point i just agreed to take an aspirin a day and my three girls survived. now, i HAVE had a clot i if i were to take that chance again i would be taking my life in my hands as another clot could very likely prove fatal.
basically, i said no WAY am i agreeing to take that evil drug KNOWING it will kill my baby, they said if you don't it will kill YOU!!! so they said "ok, what if we let you get to twelve weeks and then start you on it?" i said I'd think about it, I'm ten weeks today so basically i have two weeks to choose between my life or my baby's, i KNOW my baby will die once i start these injections and i just feel so trapped, angry and confused. I've already been through so much this pregnancy and my little bean has hung on and fought and defeated all odds so far and now they want me to just say "ok whatever, take the risk with his or her life" i just don't know what to do, my motherly instinct has kicked in BIG time and i will protect my baby with all i have but what if i lose the battle this time and leave my three girls with no mother??? I'm torn, please help, anything you can offer will help, anything at all. please i just need your opinions, what would you do??? xxxxx