Bored or depression how can you tell the difference?

Hey gals, 

 

sorry this will be abit long winded so I, 32 weeks pregnant and 5 days pregnant and really do feel like utter rubbish. Im on after its and feel like all I do is clean and I have no support from my family who are always too 'busy' it feels. My partner works shifts so I'm on my own a lot of the time, all ,y friends are obv at work and I only really see them if I make e effort to arrange things. I'm just fed up and wished people would proactively think about me roar once and think hey let's go visit or take her out the house for a while but no one does. I'm staring to feel really lonely and I'm trying not to get to stressed out because its no good for my baby, just feels I have no really purpose ATM except do the house work. I dont know how I'm going to cope,like this for another 7.5 weeks! I don't know if I'm depressed or just down in the dumps? I have an midwife appointment tomorrow so don't know wether I should mention it or not don't want to cause a fuss if its just the case that I'm in a mood.  

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  • Honestly from what you've described I wouldn't say it sounds like depression... You're cheesed off & having a crappy time but you are able to think about / explain your reasons very well (& legitimately) for why you feel the way you do... Usually depression brings feelings of low mood where the person may not be able to pinpoint a 'reason',... sleep disturbances, apetite changes etc are also common with depression. So... I dont think you need to worry about that just yet... But something to keep an eye on... Particularly after the baby is born.

    i sympathise a lot with what you have said. I recently moved to the US with my husband (im from england) so have no family here, the 'friends' that i've made are not close friends like i have at home & they seem very much tied up in their own lives & dont think to 'reach out' to me when they know I'm on my own a lot as I havent been able to get a job yet & my husband is away a lot... They seem to only call / text when they need me for something!!

    Things I have found that help me with feeling crappy / isolated etc... I volunteer at a local hospital... Not that you will be able to do that being so pregnant but the reason that helps is because I'm getting out & meeting / talking to people which really helps... & it gives me a sense of value personally..l feel like i'm contributing something... Maybe you could see what clubs / classes etc are in your area which would get you out meeting people... Maybe like an aqua aerobics class??.. That would be great in so many ways as aside from meeting people, the exercise is good for yours & the baby's physical health, the water takes the weight off you so feels good & the exercise releases endorphins which help put you in a better mood (i absolutely 100% believe in that..l feel so much better & happier after exercising). 

    Do you have a dog / does anyone you know have one you can borrow to take for walks.. Again the fresh air, exercise & getting out of the house really helps but having the dog I find is much nicer than walking alone as theres a purpose to it.

    do you have any hobbies you enjoy doing? You have the time now to devote yourself to you & the things you enjoy! What about for example do you like sewing / cross stitch? when i have a lot of free time alone i pick up a new embroidery project... It fills my time & gives me a goal to work towards which is always nice... I made some lovely bibs for my new nephew & have been working on a big project now which is a very detailed cot blanket which I will be keeping for my own little one when we are blessed to have one (i was pregnant but recently had a miscarriage).

    you could ask your midwife if she knows of any new parent groups you could join in advance / in preparation & just explain that you are on your own quite a bit & would like a chance to build some relationships with other new mum's / mums to be.

    midwives are very knowledgeable about how pregnant women can feel and actually will be for every woman keeping an eye out for signs of depression etc... They have screening tools which aid them in assessing this. trust their judgement, be honest with them about how you feel & take advantage of their support. 

    If you need anything else, or want to talk / vent some more just keep posting... The ladies on here are all super nice & supportive.

    hope you feel better soon!

     

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