Any Full time working mums out there?

Just wondering if anyone here is a full time working mum how do you find it, especially if you have a commute on top?

I hav just be offered a job which is a fab opportunity for me but it will mean a 3 hour round trip on top of a full working day, we don't have family that I would ask to provide child care so wpuld be full time nursery so now I am trying to create a pros and cons list to help me decide what to do

so any insight welcome.

should also add that jobs in my field don't come up that often and where we are currently living I will always have a commute of a minimum an hour.

I hate the ida of not having time with disco in the week

but I also worry that if I give up on my career to be a stay at home mum once he goes to school I will always wonder what might have been.

Posts

  • I have struggled with this for ever! My son is nearly 17. I used to be out of the house 70+ hours a week (when he was a teen to be fair). When he was younger I worked 50 hours in some of my roles, it was really heartbreaking. I'm older now (much older!) and I don't want that sort of drain on my time. I have taken a small demotion to work closer to home, regardless of any new children, just to be around more.

    Do you mind me asking how old you are? I think that makes a difference in terms of how easy it is/might be to get back in to the swing of things.

  • I work full time, luckily my commute is only 5 minutes as I work very close to home and nursery is in between.

    I'll be honest, I'm finding it hard at the moment, especially as I only came back to work in April after 10 months maternity.  BUT I love my new job (I got a new job whilst on maternity).

    I do miss the girls (a lot) during the week, and if I didn't like my new job it would be awful having to leave them, but if I gave up work now I'd really struggle to get back into my career in a few years and like you I just don't know what I would do once they were at school.

    I know if I hadn't had such a good opportunity I would have stayed at home with the girs and I guess I'll always wonder if it would have been a better option, but then life is about choices isn't it?

    If you took on the new job and it didn't work out do you have a fall back option?  It helps that my H and I both work so if I couldn't keep it up I could become a SAHM (or even if things go well for me, H might become a SAHD).

    N

  • I don't think I have much constructive advice but I remember how specialist your field is and can see how torn you must be! Congratulations on the job offer though, that must be a huge boost in itself! Is there any scope to work at home one of the days? as at least that would cut out the commute and give you more morning/evening time with Disco.

  • I work ft with a hefty commute. Luckily i can condense my hours into four formal working days and then some evenings during the week. It gives me thursdays off with my brood - any chance of that kind of arrangement/ working from home? We use a childminder and it has, so far, worked out brilliantly. Sometimes it feels a bit relentless but i think any type of working with lots of kids feels like that.

    I would say go for it! What is the worst that could happen? If you hate it you can leave but you'll never know unless you try.

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    Thanks for the reply, I think the commute is a real issue, as I see that as the time I would have had with disco. I have considered a complete change of career to work locally but I would be starting at the bottom of the laddder and competeing for jobs with people who have lots of expereince verses my no experience. When I think of that option I think I may as well wait until disco is in school.

    Oh and I am 33 nearly 34

    nftfi I would love to be able to do a condensed week but don't think tha is an option, I have been at home with disoc for nearly 13 months now so now going back to work will be hard but it is to a career that I previously loved which is the reason i am consideriing it. If I took it and it didn't work out I could leave as all are finances are based on H being the sole brea winner and I do think that at least i would have tried as well if that makes sense,

    Stripey hi how are you?

    Yes your right getting the offer has been a boost, I only applied to see if I would get any interest in my CV after such a long break from the field, the interview alone was a boost I wasn't expecting the job as interview was weeks ago and they were also flying some one in to interview and to my mind if they were going to that effort they must have been a strong candidate. Sadly no option of working from home to much specialist kit needed

    RS I would love a condensed week but doubt thats an option (and really I should have brought it up at interview) I think the thing I worry about most is not seeing disco.

    that said I do thin working might restore some of my sanity and make me a more balanced parent.

  • I gave up working full time in July because financially it wasn't worth it, I work part time now. My commute is an hour and a bit each way so less than yours. When I only had 2 children I used full time nursery then a combination of nursery and an after school nanny when my oldest was at school. Now I have 4 children I just have a nanny.

    I found it easier when I was full time to be able to take a morning or part of a morning/afternoon off for a school show or sports day or whatever than I do now I am part time. My youngest two have a lot of hospital appointments because they have a chromosomal disorder and I struggle to get appointments on my non-working days. So it means I am taking more time off. Thankfully my boss is understanding but when I was full time it was easier to take an afternoon off when I was working 5 days than now. I found my colleagues were more understanding when I was full time and I still get the same amount of work given to me even though I am part time.

    I still did bath time (I don't do bathtime every night with 4 kids) and story time and off course taking to or collecting from nursery. I still had time to do homework with the oldest one (5). I did have a cleaner who also did my ironing when I was full time which was great becuase it menat my time at home really was just with the kids. I batch cook which helps and use my slow cooker loads in the colder months.

    I would still work full time if financially it made sense

  • drifter

    I think the thing I worry about most is not seeing disco.

    that said I do thin working might restore some of my sanity and make me a more balanced parent.

    When my lad was younger I missed him so much. I would sometimes even have a quick cry in the toilets, sounds very sad but I missed him deep in my gut.

    BUT I would rush home and be attentive and excited and all our time was quality time because we made the most of it every single day. I know that *I* would not have the same level of enthusiasm/energy if I'd been at home every day. I have always worked, and started my career when H was tiny. It's a very big part of me and I don't think I am cut out to be a non-working mum. I would love, in an ideal world, to keep my level of responsibility and work 3 days a week, but it's not feasible.

  • For me the commute would be an issue. I have worked FT, but locally (20-30 mins), and now work 2 jobs part-time which probably add up to FT but again I'm mainly local. My nursery covers 8-6 as standard, with extra if we wanted to drop off at 7.30am. I think you'd be looking for something more flexible.

    Just to add S (who goes to school) has wraparound care which was a big part of deciding which school to send her to. She is covered 8am to 5.30, but even so I still stagger it so that I do pick ups, Mr M does drop offs. I'd struggle to do both runs.

  • I work 4 long days which is a 90% contract and have an hour commute each end of the day. As a result E gets dropped off and collected by her dad every day, sometimes I would love to be able to do this but nursery is in the wrong direction.

    To be honest, I would really struggle not having my Wednesdays with her as we get a frantic hour in the morning and anything from nothing to half hour in the evening.

    I wouldn't want to be at home full time, frankly I wouldn't make a good SAHM, but it isn't easy and I look forward to our days together.

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