BFP mixed feelings?!?!?!

Hiya

ive recently received news of my second pregnancy I've currently got a 1yr old.

ive completely mixed feelings. It certainly hasn't sunk in yet. I'm wondering how do u cope with two at such small age gaps?

is it normal to have mixed feelings. H is over the moon. I'm happy but completely terrified more nerves than excitement at the moment however I know this will change once I have the 12wk scan

i live in a two bed house. Very big bedrooms I'm worrying how it will work with them being in the same room. Once one cries will that set the other off? I'm thinking I'll get zero sleep?!?!?!

Tia x 

Posts

  • I'm pretty much in the same boat as you, in fact, there are a few of us! Our 2nd is completely planned, but I'm much more scared this time round. We're in a 2 bed house too, but I've always wanted a small gap between children. Bear in mind that by the time baby arrives, your 1 year old will be close to 2, if not 2 by then and will be further on in their development again. Add to that the 6 or so months that baby will be in with you and your 1 year old will be at least 2 and a half and probably won't react in the way you think they might. I think they'll surprise you with just how well they accept their sibling!

  • I know I'm just imagining baby no2 won't get attention as first will demand it. Like how do u bf in public do you keep other one in pushchair lol all these worries and concerns circling my head. Just can't imagine having another one next yr!

  • I got a bfp much quicker than I expected but it was planned and ive struggled to get my head around it. I'm now 17 weeks and still scared at how I will cope. Getting out the house with one is hard enough for me!

    Many congratulations though and try to take one day at a time instead of thinking too far ahead x

  • Thanks TP I know I'm worrying about something I can't control. Just hoping I'll get help from inlaws lol. Wow 17 weeks are you finding out? What will ur age gap be?

  • There's exactly two years between my girls so not much different to the age gap you'll have. I had exactly the same worries as you  but listen to RKB, she's absolutely right. I imagined what it would be like to have two with Isla the age she was when I conceived but the reality is much different. They change a lot in that time and are a lot more independent. Would it be possible to split the second room to make two separate rooms? My friend did this as her two bed house had big rooms. Congratulations!

  • Hello :) I've just found out I'm expecting again and will have an 18 month age gap so I really understand the mixed feelings. Mine and H's worries have been similar to yours in that I love being able to focus all my attention on S and I'm worried that he will suffer because I will have to divide my time between the two of them. Things that have helped me get my head round it is thinking how it will hopefully be easier for them to occupy each other being so close in age and also not being totally out of the baby stage yet, I'm hoping it won't feel quite so much like a bomb has gone off in our lives again! Definitely take it one day at a time and don't get carried away wondering "what about this and that?". My biggest concern right now is telling my dad I got knocked up by accident Laugh. Doesn't matter that I'm 31, married, with a baby already and a mortgage, it's just not something I'm looking forward to saying lol!

  • The gap will be 20 months. My toddler at the moment is very very full on which is what worries me the most. He doesn't ever stay still and as much as he will change in another 5 months (feck only 5 months) I don't see his personality totally changing and him going from wild to calm!  I hope you manage to get your head around the bfp soon x

  • I'm another one who will be in the 2 under 2 group. We always wanted the 2 to be close in age and so was very much planned. That still doesn't mean we don't have the scared moments, thinking about what we're going to do and we're going to cope! Try not to overthink things and just take each day as it comes. Tbh my biggest fear atm is that I'll end up in the delivery room by myself. We don't have any family who live nearby and friends are all busy with it being the festive season that I'm due, so we're currently working out a timings of what family members will be staying with us to look after M when I go into labour. She'll be 17 months when baby is born.

    We also live in a 2-bed and did wonder about them waking each other. But then we have no other choice and baby will be in with us for the first 6(ish) months anyway. We've already set up the room to include M's big girl bed so she can get used to the room having another bed in there.

    Congratulations though and there's a good little group of us that are all going through it together so we've got lots of people for handholding when needed!

  • I have 22 months between mine and I love it. I won't lie, the first 5 months were hard, #2 was very demanding and wanted holding all the time, but you just learn to adapt, you get one very very strong arm as you are holding baby while doing something with the toddler with the other!

    W absolutely adores her little sister and looks after her- passes her toys, feeds her, helps get me wipes when I'm changing nappy etc. and B absolutely loves her big sister, they play together all the time and she finds everything her sister does hilarious.

    I felt very guilty in the early days that I couldn't focus all my attention on B as I had to entertain W, and I still feel guilty now, but on the other hand B is lucky that she has a big sister to play with all the time whereas W only had me, so that's a positive side rather than guilt.

    They are currently in separate rooms but next week we are moving house and putting them in a room together (it's a four bed house but we are choosing to in the hopes it will be nicer for them), so I will give you an update on that in a few weeks

    As for bf, you get the hang quickly of once they're latched on holding them with one hand so toddler can sit at the table and you can do colouring , read etc with them.

    Any age has pros and cons. But they will have a great time growing up together, I would definitely recommend my age gap.

    Good luck! Xxx

  • What a lovely email thanks jelly tot I am getting round to thinking it will be great for them having such a close age gap. I'm obviously looking at it the wrong way round. I'm normally such an optimistic one.

  • We chose the age gap so I can appreciate it feeling like it's too soon if you were not ready. It will be hard, but totally worth it- think of it this way- it will be hard for you but not for them as before long the older one won't remember life before the baby came and they will both love playing together , and you will be surprised by how early on they do that. And so when you have tough days where they are both hard work you tell yourself that it is worth it to see them having fun together .

    Top tip for two under two- Disney movies are your best friend!!

  • We're in exactly the same position. We were trying, but I hadn't expected to fall so quickly. There'll be 21 months between them. Whilst I'm clearly delighted, I think fear was the number one emotion in the first couple of days. Wondering how we'd cope practically and financially, how my daughter would react to a new baby, but mostly worried about not having enough love to go around and worried that my daughter would feel left out or unloved. Now that it's sunk in, those fears have subsided (although they'll still be there the whole time).

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