breastfeeding help!

Im so close to giving up.

S has been so good at feeding so far. My nipples have been sore but I have had the latch checked by the midwives who assured me its correct. She wants to feed constantly in the evenings and usually settles around 3am. Yesterday she had a really long feed from 4.30-5.20. Come 7.30 she was frantic for feeding again. It felt that this feed lasted all night up until 4.30am. She didn't go longer than 30 mins without being at the breast and this was because I needed a break, not because she didn't want it.

She is usually good whilst on but last night was moving around while latched on causing for more sore nipples! I felt like she was either in pain with wind/ constipation or getting frustrated that she wasn't feeding quickly enough.

I was so close to sending h out for formula last night but I don't know if this would rectify anything because I think part of it is that she just wants to be close. 

Idon't really know what advice im asking for but I just needed to vent. S is now fast asleep on my chest after another feed snd even though I'm exhausted I'm terrified of trying to out her in her crib in case she wakes up screaming again and wants another feed.



  • P.s she's only 4 days old so I know its VERY early days

  • Hug the early days are tough

    If you can imagine her tummy to be the size of her clenched fist then it means she only takes such small amounts. She's stimulating your milk supply in order to get the right amount for her, its all very normal, exhausting at first but this constant feeding in the early days is normal. Evening cluster feeding is normal too as your milk is fattier at night meaning she's getting all the good fatty stuff to grow iyswim.

    We were do shocked with L but basically I fed, h made sure I had drinks etc and when L was finished h would take him immediately and wind/do the nappy etc, it only lasted a week or so then things settled down

    Re the nipples, I'd go to a bf group or call your local bf support service (nct/la leche league/breast feeding network) and see if they will do a home visit they are better at checking latches than mws in my experience as 5 mw missed isaacs tt and said his latch is perfect and it wasn't and I was in agony and crying at each feed but the bf supporter came out and seen it straight away.

    Big hugs, its really hard to get things going, take one feed at a time and get h to help out xx

  • I feel for you and wrote an identical post when S was 5 days old. He cluster fed from around 7pm til 4am for 4 days! I was exhausted! They do it to stimulate your supply, please don't worry that she's not getting enough. Make sure you are eating and drinking enough, lots of flap jack and oaty things really helped me. Sleep when you can to get some rest. It does pass I promise but its hard I know. I won't tell you not to go for formula, its up to you if you want to switch but I did persevere and I'm glad I did. Maybe have a day of skin to skin on bed? And ban visitors for a day...that's what I did to save my sanity and it helped settle S.

    I hope you're ok, it is tougher than people realise to get bf-ing established. Keep slathering the lansinoh on and I also found Multi Man nipple compresses helped although they're quite expensive.

    On a separate note, I must have missed your BA...congratulations!

  • Im finding it really hard to wind her. When we're finished feeding she is sound asleep and will then scream when I wind her snd usually won't settle unless I put her to the breast again.

    Im thinking the wriggling may be gas pain because she isn't getting all of her wind up?

  • Oh yes CP's advice about getting latch checked at a BFing support group is definitely important. S had tt and was missed by some mws but there was a specialist mw at the hospital who found it, its not always immediately obvious.

  • Popcorn- I posted my BA on the tri threads as it was easiest on my phone in hospital!

    I really want to persevere and was fine with the cluster feeding up until last night but no sleep, sore nipples and screaming baby took its toll.

    Also, h is back at work today and im dreading him going in case S carries on being a monkey all day.

  • Try some different positions for winding? S won't bring wind up in any of the conventional positions, he likes to be upright and low on my tummy instead of high over my shoulder. Leg cycling also works well. I hate winding, don't have the patience for it!

  • I jut wanted to echo what CP said, sounds quite normal for the early days. It's tough going to start with but give it a week or so to settle down. Thinking of you x

  • Ah that's how I missed it - naughty you, I would have been your pp!

    Have you got someone that can come and help you? Even if they just bring you food and drinks and keep you company? Its hard being on your own.

  • exactly what Popcorn and cherry pie said,

    make sure you are drinking pleanty H brought me a drink everyfeed disco had, also eat lots.

    Get some nipple cream this helpped me loads it's expensieve but in my opinion the lanosh (don't think I spelt that right but the one in the purple tube) is definately the best.

    This gets better ay 4 days she needs to feed like this to stimulate supply. Try winding her mid feed this helpped with disco aso try different winding positions

    we found lying over our knees while we rubbed his back or walking round while bouning were the best ways to move discos wind when he was tiny.

  • Also you don't need to wind for ages, my mil would pace the floor with L for 40+ mins but we literally either put him over our knee and patted his back or just sat him bolt upright mid feed and afterwards

  • I also wrote an almost identical post with P. She will be getting your supply going but those early days are so so hard. I really feel your pain. On day 3 P fed from 6am-5pm almost non stop. It really really does get better i promise. I did give in and gave a bit of formula but i then mixed fed until i stopped bfing at 5 months. Once you start on formula its hard to stop as your body wont make as much milk. Mixed feeding worked brilliantly for us but it depends what you want xx

  • After my breakdown this morning I feel much better. I managed to get a few hours sleep this afternoon which helped massively. S has still decided that the best place to eat,  sleep and be awake is on the boob but if that makes her content at the minute I'm happy to try to roll with it for a little longer. Seeing how relaxed she is at the boob makes me teary (hormones! ) and I just want her to feel comfortable more than anything at the minute. She went a few hours in the crib this afternoon but apart from that has been attached to me. I do think a lot of it is comfort.

    Thanks for all your support and watch out for a repeat post tomorrow!

  • Oh another quick Q.

    We haven't had a pooey nappy since yesterday afternoon. There have been wet nappies. Is she getting enough milk? Just read that after day 4 there should be 3-4 dirty nappies sdday? ?

  • S didn't poop at all between days 4-8 and the midwives and health visitors weren't worried so don't stress too much. When he did go it was like a damn had burst so be warned ;)

  • Glad you are feeling better, a few hours sleep can make all the difference xxx

  • Z only pooed once every 4 or 5 days when she was bf!  If youre getting wet ones I wouldnt worry!

  • Hope things continue to improve. I think I posted on here a few times in early days. As it was #2 I knew what to expect, but that didn't make it any easier iykwim. All. Could do was tell myself it would be better at 2 weeks, then 1 month and now we are nearly at 3 months and everything is so much better. A feeding/sleeping pattern is emerging and genrally things are just easier. You will get there,  promise xx

  • BF babies don't necessarily poo that often. Breastmilk is mostly just nutrition so there's not so much to excrete IYSWIM!

    Glad you're feeling better. Do you know how to feed in a sling? That would enable you to walk around while she's eating or sleeping. Also if you are getting really tired, planned co-sleeping is better than falling asleep in a chair with your baby. If you can feed lying down you can get a bit of kip too. I was terrified co-sleeping would kill him and did end up falling asleep on the sofa or sitting up in bed a couple of times and it would have been much safer to just make sure the bed was safe and co-sleep on some of the really demanding nights.

  • Good to know lack of stinky nappies isn't an issue. I was starting to think she wasn't getting enough milk from me.

    Saisi- the sling seems like an excellent idea. I was looking at the connecta before she was born but would a strerchy sling be best for bf? Are there any you recommend and is it easy to get the hang of?

    Also, any info on safe co-sleeping appreciated. I stupidly thought I'd have a baby that liked her lovely snug crib so it isn't something ive looked in to.

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