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Breastfeeding stress

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  • Firstly, I just want to say, I know how you feel.  Apart from the reflux we had everything you had plus a staff infection in both nipples, and severe nipple damage caused by the TT.  WE had days where I just wanted to give up BF and give him formula, and we actually did for 3 days when I was unwell.  It's such a hard decision to make, after a bad feed you decide to stop, then the next feed will be a good one and you reconsider.

    A was born on a Friday and I had a bit of an obsession with only stopping on a Friday so I would have fed him for x number of full weeks (don't ask, I think it was the sleep deprivation that made it seem normal!), and by the time Friday came round I would have always reconsidered and decided to continue BF.

    At around 9 weeks we worked quite hard on getting A into some sort of sleeping routine, as like S he just wasn't sleeping during the day.  We went with the Baby Whisperer and worked though the eat, activity, sleep pattern (not to a time schedule though, although eventually he started showing sleep signs roughly an hour after a feed).  Could you try something like that maybe just to give you a break?

    A would also feed for over an hour at a time.  Our hv advised taking him off afte 40 minutes if I felt that he was just sucking, rather than feeding.  Do you have someone who could help you out for a few days.  I found that if I gave him to someone else after a feed it was easier to see that he was/wasn't still hungry (if he was then I fed him again), whereas if it was just me, he would latch on again for comfort.

    If you decide to stop, don't feel bad about it.  You've BF for 9 weeks, that's a lot longer than a lot of babies get, and you've given him a great start.  But now it's better for him to have a happy mummy, who enjoys the time spent with him, rather than worrying about the next feed.

  • Tina Teaspoon
    In all honesty, if you say he was a different baby after you gave formula, I would say that bf is not the best for him. It isn't always. If he seemed better with the formula I would go for it.

    This!  My sister had similar struggles, persevered for a few months and switched to formula.  She says it was the best decision she made because she knew he was getting the right nutrition, and he was a happier, more comfortable baby on formula.  She now planning to mix feed from the start with her second.  I dont think you should feel bad if you make the switch.  If it makes him happy thats what matters.

  • Thanks SC + TT. It is hard when I have a good feed and then question my decision to give up. I think the yo-yoing back + forth is making it even worse for me emotionally. I think I'll actually feel ok once I just decide and get on with it.



    You've all been really supportive and I appreciate how much time has gone into the replies on this thread :)



    I will let you know how we get on in a few days x
  • I think you've had some great advice here PC. Whatever your decision it will have been well thought through and will be best for both of you xxx

  • Whatever you decide please remember formula is not poison. I have just gone through all the guilt myself. A never latched and I have been expressing and mix feeding for 3 weeks. My milk has now gone. Its been a very emotional time but as a wise midwife told me you cant plan these things and all you can do is your best. You also have to remember to balance happy baby with happy mum

    You are of no use to anyone if you are going mad and knackered. Good luck and im sending you hugs x x x
  • Oh popcorn. I really feel for you! Massive pat on the back for lasting this long with all the struggles you have had.

    Please don't put so much pressure on yourself. S didn't latch properly at first which resulted in me having very sore nipples. I dreaded every feed and especially the evenings where she would be at the breast from about 6pm-2am. I went through a few weeks of crying and stressing. Finally decided to give formula when I was sobbing in bed at 4am one night. I then back tracked and tried to mix feed but my supply just wasn't as it was and again I began to get stressed. S is now formula fed and although I really wish bf worked and I will try to bf any future babies, I am so thankful for formula as it gave me my sanity back and after the initial guilt left me I felt so much more at ease

    Please don't be so hard on yourself whatever you decide.  Xx

  • Hijack but how are you Sam? How's it all going?

  • Hi tina :-) we're doing really well thanks! S was 5 weeks on Sunday and I am still completely amazed by her. We are formula feeding now and she is (generally! ) a really good baby (so much so that H has already brought up the conversation of if/when we will be trying for another! Haha

    How are you doing? X

  • Wow he's keen! We're doing ok thanks, A has reflux but we are trying hard to get on top of it. We're slowly getting there with the bf and he now weighs a whopping 11lb 5oz so he's a determined wee thing. He is such a lovely baby and really interested in everything. I love watching him notice more and more things every day.

    Do you find that S still feeds a lot or has formula calmed her down a bit on the food front?

  • Glad that the bf is getting there and fingers crossed you get on top of the reflux soon.

    During the day she usually tends to go 2 and a half-3 hours in between feeds and does seem to be quite a hungry baby. Nighttimes vary. Last night she had a bottle at 12.30 and then I woke her to feed her at 8.15am so we could get ready to go out!! She didn't hardly sleep at all during the day yesterday so must have been exhausted!

    She usually goes anything between 4-6 hours at night and we seem to be having more nights that she lasts longer over the past week or so.

    The health visitor is coming on monday so she will be weighed then. Cant wait to see what she weighs because she seems huge compared to when she was first born!

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