Does the lack of sleep ever get any easier?

So, ten weeks on today and I am still struggling with the whole not sleeping thing. For one reason or another F has never slept through the night and everytime he weeks I still find it so difficult to get up. Obviously I hope it will get a lot better but I am worried sick about going back to work at six months, there is no way I would be able to do my job on such little sleep.

Also, if you finish a feed at half five/six do you go back to bed? I feel lazy getting up at nine with a baby!


  • Ten weeks is still very early for baby to be sleeping through, so don't be too hard on yourself. I just rest as much as i can during night feeds and try and get some sleep if possible. And yes, I absolutely go back to bed after a 5/6am feed!!

  • I always found it difficult to get up but then if baby didn't wake I'd wake anyway in a bit of a panic.  Absolutely would go back to bed after 5 or 6am feed if baby had gone back to sleep.  

  • I would still be expecting a 10 week old to be waking for 2 feeds in the night at 10 weeks - we always dream fed at 10:30pm and they usually fed again at 2:30am ish. If they woke after 6am that would be the start of our day (we've always done the start your day at 7am routine whatever the night threw at you mainly because I wanted to be showered and dressed for the day and have the children dressed and downstairs before my H left for work). I hated getting up in the night (still do on the rare occasions they wake in he night now). We've always been very routine driven which I beleive has helped get them sleeping through the night pretty early as I always knew that I would not cope with night wakings once back at work (I went back when they were seven months).

  • Like the others have said, 10 weeks is very young and hopefully he will go longer as he gets older before you return to work. Don't feel lazy about getting up later, I always go back to bed if we have had a bad night and are up early. I try to make plans no earlier than mid-morning so that I have that luxury of sleeping in if need be.

  • Different to the others, but I got up after a 5/6am feed, as I had another child I needed to get to school.

    I have always coped well on little sleep, and have always been an early riser, so it never bothered me. I do feel like I have wasted part of my day, if I get up later than 7.

    If I was really tired, i'd go to sleep earlier the night before.

    I admit though, I probably coped better, because my youngest slept through from 5 weeks, so I wasn't massively sleep deprived.

  • As the others have said, I wouldn't expect a 10 week old to be sleeping through.

    Are you bf or ff? If bf, have you tried lying down? That way you can half doze. Ideally don't get out of bed at all and keep the lights low, that way hopefully you won't fully awaken and you should be able to get back off to sleep quicker.

    If FF, are you getting up to make each feed? Of so I'd look at ways of being able to make/have bottles at your bed side.

    To warn you, you still have the 12- and 16- week growth spurts to go, but hopefully you should see an improvement after that (although mine took until 10 months to sleep through...)

    You do get used  to it.

  • Er yes go back to bed after a 6am feed! Take it where you can!

    F has reflux doesn't he? Sam does too though I think it's quite mild compared to some. I think the night feeds are tricky as we have to stay awake longer doing the upright thing after a feed. How long do you do it for? I prop myself up in bed with cushions but am very comfy and stretched out and prop him with his head in my arms so that's up, lying on his side towards me. I'm still resting then while he sleeps and I do it for 20 mins now, seems to be enough.

    I also struggle some days though and feel so zapped of energy, especially towards the end of the week. It is hard. I make sure I try to get some decent naps at the weekend and last night felt particularly knackered so went to bed after feeding him at 8, H brought him up asleep at 1030, then he went until 230 so I had a really decent stretch and feel like a new woman today! I need to try that more often as its better for S too if I'm not completely zonked! S is 10 weeks too and his feeding and sleeping pattern still changes so I think it's more important to survive ATM then try and squeeze him into a routine if he isn't ready. We do follow and encouragr any pattern he starts though, I just can't rely on them!

  • I think you do get used to it. My oldest was a great sleeper, up once for a feed usually and settled down again easily. Number 2 was very different - fed all night, wouldn't settle other than on me etc. I went back to work when he was 7 months and my saving grace was nightshirts. But my H would be shattered. I think you just go onto auto pilot mode and get on with things. L is now 3.5 and still up 1-2 times a night and its taking about 20 min to settle him again. I'm always tired, but after all this time I think I'm just used to it.

  • Thanks everyone. I know he is still very young but everyone seems to think he should be sleeping through!

    He is ff and this last week or so hasn't needed a feed but has woken up a couple of times looking for his dummy etc which means I don't get a decent stretch. Can't wait for the growth spurts! Good job he's so cute!

  • It definitely does get easier and I would say that the first step to that is to lower your expectations - try not to expect him to sleep through (it really is unusual at this age, despite what people are telling you) and don't worry if you don't get up till 9.

    My second baby didn't sleep through reliably until nearly 3 and didn't drop his night feeds until about 18 months when I did some gentle night weaning and tbh, I coped fine. My colleagues were always amazed at how well I managed a full day at work on broken sleep and eventually he just got it of his own accord. Hang on in there, it will get better x

  • Absolutely go back to bed unless you have reasons not to. Why make yourself more tired on purpose I say. My F woke at 4.30 for a feed and then I had to express so it was 6am before I got back to bed and then 8.30am before we finally got up. In that time he did need his dummy out back in and I didn't get to sleep that well but it was still time just to relax until the mayhem started properly. If I had been going out then I might have just stayed up but that would have meant 4 hours sleep which seems daft to survive on unless necessary. My F is bf and goes from 10-4.30 but sometimes wakes at 3.30 just wanting a a cuddle to get back to sleep but we've never had a full nights sleep from him which is normal anyway.  

  • Glad to hear I'm not the only one not exactly up with the birds! I have a good while longer to get used to it before I have to go back and I am certainly not the first person to have to cope. Need to man up I think!

  • If a 10 week old sleeps through I usually think a strict routine and a lot of luck has something to do with it.

    You cannot MAKE them sleep through and if you're exhausted you need to try and think of ways around your own situation instead of fighting it. Start thinking of the clock as a 24 hour one with 24 opportunities for an hour of sleep, you are NOT lazy by going back to bed at 6 o'clock in the bloody morning, you are sensible! If baby is napping at 11am and you are tired, then so should you be too. If you do not have any other children then you should absolutely be taking advantage of this because once there's more than one you ain't got a chance.

    Enjoy this time with your newborn, instead of putting expectations on yourself about what baby should and shouldn't be doing. They are all individuals and all do things differently.

    This is coming from someone whose baby slept through seven weeks after discharge from hospital. I do not expect my next baby or anyone else's to do the same, just as I do not expect every adult I know to go to bed at the same time, wake the same number of times during the night and to need exactly the same quantity of sleep if any given period.

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