Hormonal Or... ?
Hi. Sorry to offload but am feeling a bit emotional and could do with airing I guess! Im finding work really stressful at the minute. I've had a constant headache (stress headache!) for days (in fact it only goes at weekends) and have ended up in tears numerous evenings now. Mainly because I feel a lot of pressure (too much work to keep on top of) and because I feel like my boss is always pushing me / undermining / making me feel like what I am doing isn't good enough. This has all been a problem for a while (and addressed, improved, worsened, addressed again, etc) but I feel like its more of one now because I'm so aware about the potential impact of stress on my baby (everyone always says don't let it stress you, you need to not get stressed because of baby etc!). Then there is the addition of maternity leave cover being discussed and I won't lie, because of all of the above I'm feeling quite threatened and I guess I'm worrying about that. I keep waking up at night and all I am thinking about is work, its a nightmare. At home there is also the worry about my H finding a new job (he left his a month ago, which I am very happy about and wouldn't change). I know he is worried and naturally, although I know he will find something, its on the back of my mind too. Finally, I've got the natural worry we all have about will my baby be OK etc. Am I just being really hormonal? I just feel like things are bothering me perhaps more than they would normally? Anyone else like this (or been like this?). Times like this I feel like going and getting a sick note but I know that won't help anything work wise.
Replies
So sorry to hear your having a crap time at work. I can relate as I have had a very stressful time at work throughout my pregnancy and now that I look back it was totally not worth it. I know work is very important but you and baby are more important! And if things are not going right or of your not being treated fairly then you need to speak up and get it sorted. Yes you will be more emotional of course but if things are happening that making you unhappy you need to 100% sort this out ....sending you a hug anyway
Thanks for your reply. Had work always been stressful for you or did it just elevate once pregnant? I'll definitely be raising it. It's just annoying that I feel so emotional about it as I'm so bad at making my point when I'm upset! Just hope there's a light... Can't be bothered at the moment, feel a bit like its all too much - hormones eh!
My job has always been very stressful but its the nature of the job however when I got pregnant ny companys attitude towards me totally changed. I was due a promotion and this was held back until I made an official complaint.
I think there's more going on there than just hormones Pep. The other thing with pregnancy is that your focus can change - work can become less important as you think of the changes that are coming in your life if that makes sense? So the hassles of work seem less acceptable?
I don't necessarily feel like anything changed because I'm pregnant - it's always been this way really, it goes through peaks and troughs unfortunately. It's just bad at the minute because we need a new head and we are trying to cope without... which obviously means overload for others and stress for those that need all the work done! I do think tho that my boss is going to start panicking about me going off and overload me then. I have always seen that coming, it's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell them until I had to. They are already telling me to document for cover etc - like I have time!
And their attitude towards you can change too, as it seems like your loyalty to them/dedication to the job is questioned?
Weekender, I do know what you are saying. It's weird though, it's like work has suddenly become even more important? Like I need to really prove myself and sort out the department before I leave etc so life won't be difficult when I return. I'm so paranoid about having maternity cover used against me in the future (ie they did things better than you etc). I'm quite new to my role - hence the insecurity! Still finding my feet and the work overload doesn't help as I don't have time to do as much as I'd like to. Sorry, Im totally offloading my problems now!
Weekender - Good point, def feel like I'm being questioned about whether I'm doing my job properly (Ie still focused etc). Unfortunately it's always been a bit like that tho!
Oh Pep, it sounds as though it's all a bit too much. Your hormones will be making you feel more emotional, but the issues are probably still issues.
I know how you feel about having to prove you're still worthy, I feel like I need to defend myself now so I've stil got a job to return to. I know officially they can't just not have me back, but they can find ways.
I've no practical advice, but if it's making you not sleep then maybe you need a bit of time off. Either sick or holiday?
Thanks Imp. It's nice to just offload to be honest, looking forward to the weekend!
Annual leave would be impossible because of the work going on at the moment. Similarly time off sick - Im the only person that does what I do and we have deadlines that can't be missed so it would just make life difficult and my return hell. I'm definitely not going to rule it out completely though, if it hits a point that I need to then I will!
I am sleeping - it's more that every time I wake the first thing coming into my mind is work and the stuff that needs done etc.
Roll on Mat Leave?!
I feel the same, is it not June yet?!
But seriously, make sure you keep watch on your stress levels. Remember it's absolutely not worth being stressed over and whilst being busy is fine, getting yourself so worked up that it's keeping you awake at night isn't.
I find I'm ok going to sleep but I wake at 3/4/5 am and that's it my mind it whirring with work/baby/stress etc, so you're not alone.
Thanks Imp. Altho I wish you weren't feeling the same there is some comfort in knowing I'm not alone and can talk to you about it
x
Pep I went through pretty much the same thing at my work! I have a fairly stressy job and am one of only 2 women who have senior roles at my work (the other isn't married and has no children). When I told them I was pg I constantly felt like I had to prove myself that I could still do my job. My boss definitely changed towards me, well certainly in my eyes and his words and actions never tied up so I don't know if it was a subconscious thing on his part, he would say 'the important thing is health and the baby' 'take what time you need for appointments etc, make sure everything is ok' then he put me down as sick for a day I worked the whole day from home (logged in through remote access) because I had been in hospital the night before for fetal monitoring and had the midwife coming to see me that day!!
I then had other people at work telling me I should have finished up early and I shouldn't be commuting or doing my job as I had to think about the baby (comments like that really didn't help!)
I honestly think I did myself no favours worrying about work and I even now worry about how O must have reacted to that when I was pregnant. I always wonder if it contributed to my early labour (I do have a bicornate uterus so it was likely due to this but I do think work was a factor!) Even when O was born I hadn't finished up work and hadn't done a handover or anything and I had mentioned to my H about going in to work one day when I got home to finish up, to which he went bananas and told me I wasn't going and that they would just have to get on with it!
Not sure I have any great advice but do what you need to, without overdoing it and try and have some relaxing time outside work without thinking of your job. Maybe book in for a pregnancy massage or something you would find relaxing xx
Big hugs, you've got a lot on your plate right now! Completely agree with what's been said, sounds like you need a break from work xxx
Thanks everyone. Feeling a bit better this morning but definitely think some time off would be no bad thing. Going to look at the diary and see if I can squeeze anything in. Had wanted to save it for tagging onto mat leave but I'll worry about that later!