I'm in weaning hell!

I am so over weaning! A can't have cows milk and has reacted the 2 times i've tried her with soya milk. Shes also come out in a rash after a couple of other foods so not sure if she's reacted to those too. She gags if I give her anything more than a smooth purée, she does the same if I give her finger food and she manages to gum some off. I'm trying to make all her food myself but its exhausting and endless plus its getting expensive buying all this fruit and veg that she either cant or wont eat. I just feel like giving up and buying the pouches - at least they'd be the right texture for her. The HV has referred us to the feeding dept of the speech and language team. She's gone off her milk and its a nightmare trying to get her to drink more than 4oz at a time which means she still waking at night for a feed, last night it was twice. But apparently there's no problem as she's putting on weight - arrgh! Has anyone got a magic solution please? 

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  • I'd just keep offering to be honest, I don't think there is a magic solution. If pouches are what suits her and you at the moment then there's no harm in going with them, there's nothing bad in them and it may well reduce stress levels. When you say gagging, is it with every bite or just the odd time? N still gags on finger foods sometimes but from what I understand it's natural in babies as they are learning how to handle the lumps and the gag reflex is pretty far forward at this age compared to adults. How old is she now, and how long have you been weaning for?

  • Isn't your baby still quite young? I know you've said she doesn't drink a lot of milk, but if you can get her to drink the min amount, as weaning is causing you both so much stress, would it be an idea to wait a bit longer until she's 6 months? Also regarding pouches, C never had any pre-made baby food, but due to S's milk intolerance and how difficult it was when eating out, she did have them on occasion and would still have them now as she loves them. S also gagged quite a bit to start with, but i didn't let it bother me as i knew it was only gagging, not choking and she had to get used to swallowing different textures. She grew out of it quite quickly. Things will improve and at least you've been referred so they can check that there's nothing wrong.

  • Thanks both. She's almost 28 weeks and we've been weaning since 21 weeks. It was her dietician who told me I need to be moving her onto thicker, lumpier textures but we just seem to be stuck. It's pretty much as soon as any food apart from something very runny touches her tongue she gags. I know some gagging is normal but I've been trying this for 3 weeks now and it's just not getting any better. I've tried the blw approach too but that was just the same if any bits of food broke off. I know I shouldn't get stressed as she can sense that but I'm just finding it so hard.

  • I'm not a dietician, or profess to have much knowledge in that respect, but my gut reaction was why would does she need to move onto thicker textures when she's only just 6 months? The guidelines are to wait until 6 months anyway, so unless you're going down the BLW route (and if you did the mantra is 'food is for fun until they're one' so it wouldn't matter if at this stage she wasn't eating much anyway) most babies of that age are just starting off on the very smooth purees. I used to really worry about what C ate (she's a picky eater) but I was so much more laid back with S and basically if she ate it she did and if she didn't, I didn't worry. Honestly, S gagged LOADS (C never did, so it came as a bit of a shock). We did mainly BLW with the odd pouch that she'd feed herself by sucking it, and I used to get loads of looks when we were eating out if she gagged as it was so loud! It took quite a few weeks for her to get used to it; she must have been at least 8 months, but she was then fine. I'd have thought that she'd gag more by being spoon fed as she can't control what's going in, so maybe take a step back, put some soft food in front of her, see what she does and try not to panic if she does gag. Give her the chance to deal with the food herself before you intervene, unless you think she's in danger of choking. If you want to try jars and pouches, then do so. What's important is that this becomes a more positive experience for you both. I'd be concerned that if this continued in the same way, she'd be at risk of having problems with food in the future, as you say yourself she can sense you getting stressed. However, there are also conditions that can cause a baby to gag, so it's great that she's going to be checked out just in case.

  • I'd stick to proper purées still, plenty of time for the lumpier food later on...can't remember when we moved up to more texture but it was about 7-8m. If pouches will make it easier then just use them, they are usually organic and don't have any junk in. Maybe make a batch of puréed fruit or veg from scratch and freeze so you know some homemade food is being eaten. Weaning never helped A's sleep (sorry!) although a bowl of porridge before bed used to make some difference. Try and stay calm, I know it's easier said than done but they pick up on the tension. Good luck x

  • Zero advice lovey but just wanted to see how your doing! (Stupid question!?) xx

  • Aww, thank you MDD - you're always thinking of us! Still battling through but what else can I do?! I figure I made it through the last 6 months and A was screaming constantly through 4 of those so Ive just gotta get through the next 6 months and hopefully things will be a bit easier form there! Hope you're doing OK too x

  • She's talking a like of crapola. Babies dont usually move onto lumpier food till a couple of months of weaning when *starting* at 6 months. Henry wouldnt tolerrate lumpier food till a fair bit after suggested on pouches.

    If pouches are what work, buy them! I used them for ages, partly because of his milk allergy, I was scared I'd give him milk unless a packet directly said NO MILK. But I have a few in now even if I haven't had time to cook. So what, they're eating and Ella's kitchen are pretty good and organic so what harm is it doing?

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