Newborn sleep - help! UPDATE PG 2

I know at 40 hours old it's very early days but M does not seem to like the crib. From 8-2 she fed continuously, which although a bit of a marathon I have no problem with, I think when my milk comes in that will get better. But after that she won't sleep anywhere other than on me or possibly H.  She did manage from 7-10 am in the bed next to me, which I managed to doze off with her there but ideally I'd like her to do some time in the crib because I don't seem to be able to sleep with a baby in my bed, I never could with A either.

FWIW last night was an exact copy of the first night.

My plan today is to wear a muslin under my top to put in the crib with her, to warm it with a hot water bottle before putting her in. Any tricks I'm missing?

I might give swaddling another go but it's not been successful so far. 

What sheets/blankets should I be using on her? A was big enough to go straight into grobags, but I think she's too little. Will have a look at them today.

TIA, a very tired BG

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  • I remember those first days well. They are so tough. We had trouble getting P to sleep in the crib too.

    I also had the mammoth breastfeeding sessions. This will be her stimulating your milk supply. Day 2 is the worst but as you say it will get better once your milk is in.

    She wont realise she's not still a part of you yet. She is used to being warm and snuggly in your tummy and is now in a cold open crib with lots of scary noises and new smells. Can you let her fall asleep on you then put her in the crib? Warming it first is a good idea. I slept with P's blankets in my bed too so they smelled of me. At the moment P is wearing a vest and babygro and sleeping bag with 2 light blankets. If i had a newborn i would probably dress in a vest, babygro, light cardigan and 2 blankets but my house gets quite cold.

    In the early days i would say do whatever you need to to get some sleep. You can get her used to the crib in time xx

  • Hey BG. How are you?

    I am using just the thin blanket I got from the hospital and swaddling R. He just has a vest and a sleep suit on with his hands covered and he seems to be fine temperature wise. I have also rolled up a cellular blanket and I put this behind him in his Moses basket for a bit of comfort.

  • On my phone with sleeping baby so will try to reply properly later but S was exactly the same when we got back from hospital, I feel for you.

    propping his crib up with a towel underneath the legs, at the head end really helped and the muslin is a good idea. S would luckily sleep on anyone so the first night H and I took turns so I at least got some rest, but we kept trying and from the second night, once propped and in a deep sleep when we put him down he was fine. He still would only sleep on someone in the day but the nights were the main issue anyway. I also heard about padding the crib with rolled blankets round the side but was a little worried he'd fall into them, but we were then able to manage without.

    I also bought a poddle pod when he was about 6wo, wish I'd heard of them sooner as it helped both in and out of the crib. He has been a fab night sleeper from early on though so don't worry that this spells trouble, hopefully she will get used to it very soon.

  • I'm no use I'm afraid as all 3 of mine would sleep in the moses basket for the first few days then they hated it and for the 1st 6-8 weeks they had to do all sleeping on me. Very tiring but I got used to co-sleeping and actually enjoyed it. I did keep trying with the moses basket and they got it eventually. Now they all peacefully sleep in their own beds all night so I certainly didn't make a rod for my own back by co-sleeping for a while. I think you just have to do whatever you have to do to get some sleep.

  • Florence was exactly the same - it was awful. She would go down in the crib at the start of the night, but once she was up for a feed that was it. For about two weeks I co slept with her on a pillow and I put her in the crib for all her daytime sleeps (ours was portable). Suddenly after a couple of weeks she just decided she didn't mind any more.

    Good luck, and congratulations xx

  • Slumberbear/white noise/heartbeat app. Raising one end of crib. Warming blankets/sheets.

    None of these worked for us mind, so after 2 weeks of NO sleep for either of us I embraced cosleeping and it was a revelation until 12 weeks when he magically preferred the cot!

  • Don't worry too much. William slept on me first few days. I think it was him adjusting to being outside (especially as he was eLcs so no idea he was coming out) but he startled himself awake all the time which didn't help. Also, i thought it would be ok as it would help my milk come in. We swaddled with aden & anais Muslins after that (with blanket on top) and still do that now, albeit arms out swaddling.

    When they are so new you can't expect them to want to be anywhere else!

  • N slept on us for three weeks until we bought him a slumber bear, which he still loves.

  • I'm only trying to transfer her when she's already asleep, I'm not so ambitious as to try putting her down awake yet!

    I think the warmth may be an issue, will try swaddling again tonight, maybe arms out as she does seem to like her hands being by her face.

    It's encouraging that so many of your LO's only took a few weeks to get used to the crib, I think I was spoilt with Alex, apart from his first night at home (and I think he was just cold that night) he slept in his cot no bother, only waking to feed.

    Will go with the flow for now.

  • I tried everything that's already been suggested and unfortunately it still didn't work for mine. But it didn't last forever, like I said, after 6-8 weeks they did then sleep fine in the moses basket/cot. It's really hard because you don't sleep properly but I secretly really really loved the snuggly cuddles.

  • She doesn't know she's not still inside you, she just wants the warmth and comfort of mummy :)

  • Do you have heating or anything on?  I know it's against guidelines, but both of mine are very hot sleepers - last night the temp in our bedroom was 22 degrees and both children were up and cold ALL night!  

  • No more advice just feeling your pain.  Sophie was like that at first and we were both knackered!!   We just tried to go with the flow and yes, slept with her on us.  I never coslept with I but have done on quite a few occasions with S.  Keep persisting, which is so so hard when you are tired and eventually she will click.

    Going forward, make sure if you can you put in place the same sleep training you did with Alex.  I was amazing at going to sleep.  From early on we did the whole shush patting thing and definitely by 4 months she would go down happily awake (I remember as we had a party and we just chucked her down and carried on!).  Sophie is now 5 months and because I was worried about disturbing I, looking for an easy life by rocking her to sleep now we have to rock her to sleep for EVERY SLEEP and she still wakes loads in the night.  I wondered why I have lost all my baby weight whilst eating lots of cake and I realised I pace for about two hours every night...  I am too tired to sleep train her and I am too tired because I haven't taught her how to settle!!!  H is rocking her now as she has woken up after 20 mins asleep.

  • P was like this for 9 weeks i'm afraid but she then became and awesome, self settling, 12 hour a nighter!!

    P hated swaddling at first but then it was what worked the best. she doesn't know she's not part of you yet. Try warming the cot, putting in something that smells of you. just bear with her for now.

  • Might sound a bit weird but we put rolled up towels under the sheets at the side of the crib so as to make the crib feel like a more enclosed space. Also, they really liked a fleecy blanket underneath them to rub their cheeks on. Cranked the white noise out after about three weeks!

  • I have no great advice as my LOs were exactly the same to start. For the first few days, in fact the first couple of weeks, they didnt want to sleep anywhere but on or right next to me. It's really tough it eventually they both kind of got it. It took them both a while to be able to self settle, but they are both now able to sleep in their own beds. Both had to be swaddled though, and we also tried white noise, raised mattresses, blankets underneath the sheet to make it slightly cosier, muslins that smelt of H and I, and a hot water bottle. Generally c and o have been very similar babies and liked and disliked similar things. It had really thrown me when one thing that worked for one hasn't worked for the other!

    She'll get it eventually, but she's only just beginning to realise she's not part of you anymore.

  • Update night 3

    Much better, especially for H who didn't even need to do a shift!

    She spent about half of the night in bed with me and the other half in the crib. Hurrah!

    My milk has started to come in over night (Hello boys!) so that helped settle her feeding too. I kept her wrapped in a blanket all night so there wasn't so much change in temperature when in and out of the crib.

    Still very early days so not counting those chickens yet, but feeling so much more human and positive today!

    thanks for all your reassurance and advice yesterday.

  • Glad she was more settled for you. S was waking hourly or so the 1st week but quickly settled to going 4 hours and now 8 hours!

  • Glad she's settling BG. J is now nearly 4weeks old and still likes to sleep on me. I think they just have to get used to a new situation. I got a dinky sleeping bag in primark as like yoyr A, D was big enough for grobags from birth too x

    A decent nights sleep does make a difference.

  • It really does Daisy. Even if it's one step forward two steps back, I at least feel a bit more confident co-sleeping in the short term to get us through.

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