What a difficult headf**k of a situation for you. As everyone else has said, your plan for tomorrow goes something like:
1) talk about your worries about him and his ex
2) talk about your worries about your relationship and it's effect on his relationship with his son
And then ***maybe****
3) tell him your news.
Personally I'd get 1&2 out the way then give yourself time to think through the answers and their implications before getting onto 3. 3 has to happen but there is nothing wrong with giving yourself some breathing space whilst you decide what you want to do.
Good luck-there's plenty on here for all the hand holding you need xxxx
As TP and KK said you absolutely have to tell him, but is speak to him first so you get his honest feelings, I wouldn't just say I think you cheating on me with you ex, as KK says, tell him that your relationship has changed (and then examples like he only spends a couple of nights with you here and there now unlike before) then tell him your concerns that perhaps he still has feelings/wants to reconcile things with his ex. See what he says and take it from there. He's maybe also been feeling the pressure of TTC and that's effected things? As TP said, he sounds (well at least before!) like the kind of man that will be with you for support regardless of what happens so the important thing here is you and the baby xx
I don't have a clue who you are, but wanted to wish you congratulations. Your situation doesn't sound ideal, but it will work out. Sounds like your mum is very supportive, which is what you're going to need. I hope you manage to have a chat with the OH and get things sorted there, but at the end of the day, you and your baby are your main priority.
sorry i didn't say it at the start, v bad of me, congratulations on your BFP!!
I agree with the others about talking about the ex wife and son issues before bringing up your BFP. As much as he has a right to know, and to know soon, you don't really want your news to cloud his judgement or whatever. Hope that makes sense, glad you've got the support of the girls in here x
i dont know who you are. but firstly, congratulations as i can see you really want the BFP. secondly. good luck talking to you OH tonight. stay strong & think of you and the baby. definitely go with talking to him about your situation first and i would probably leave off telling him your pregnant for a little bit. big hugs & good luck though x
Yes I definatly know who you are. I know this BFP is very much longed for, and I'm so happy for you that you finally got there. I wish you a very happy and healthy 8months. I think Tweetie pie has given some wonderful support and advice :-). (I'm a long standing member who's had a name change)
I don't know who you are either but congratulations on your BFP, everything will work out xx
I don't have a clue who you are, but then I'm useless at anons!
Congratulations on your BFP. You know you need to talk to him, and lots of good advice on this thread, I just hope it goes well for you and you have all the support you need xx
Yes I also know who you are and just wanted to say huge congratulations on getting your bfp. The circumstances do sound a bit complicated but as everyone else says have a chat about you and him first and then go from there. Sending you some 'hope the talk goes better than expected' vibes. Good luck x
I'm not surprised your head's at exploding point. Best of luck to you but most importantly congratulations, you're going to be a mummy!
I think I know who you are. Congratulations on the BFP.
It does sounds very complicated and I echo the advice to see where the ground lies before telling him.
Best of luck, I hope it all works out.
I must be the worlds worst anon! So many of you have me figured...
Thank you so much for the advice and support, I'll let you all know how it goes although might not get back on until tomorrow now...
Big congratulations on your much wanted bfp. I am 99% sure I know who you are and I am thrilled for you. Feel free to get in touch if you need an ear. Sorry things are so complicated. I look forward to you outing yourself so I can jump up and down for certain! Xxx
Congratulations lady. Think I know who you are and am so pleased you have got your long awaited BFP. I'm sorry the circumstances are difficult though, it is of course a huge thing to deal with when you are having relationship problems, we are here should you need us, and good luck talking to your OH x
OK I'm about to out myself (honest) just thought I'd bring this thread to an end.
He says he's not seeing his ex wife but she has moved back in as her and her dad weren't getting on. He's said he was dragging his feet about putting the place on the market and actually sorting things as he was woried about losing contact with his son and various other issues he has that I don't want to go into too much.
I told him it wasn't fair of him to keep stringing me along the way he has been and he agreed and apologised, said it wasnt intentional... Anyway I've told him he needs to do something and he says he needs time to think. He said he feels like he has to choose between losing me and losing his son. I've told him I'm pregnant (well actually he guessed) and he can't quite seem to get his head round it. So he's gone home now and he's going to take a few days to think about what he wants to do... No real help there, I know he's going through a rough time at the moment. He said he's worried about how the pregnancy will affect my body with the condition I have which in a way is nice but then he's not sure how he would cope with things if I did struggle too much...
Thank you all for your support and I'm now off to post my official BFP!!!
Im so glad you have spoken to him and he has at last been honest about things. At least if he is thinking things through he again is being honest and will make the right choice for both of you. Now you focus on you and your precious much wanted and already loved little bump, you two are all that matters now xxxx
Sorry lovey, I didn't see this last night. Glad you've spoken to him. I know you'll be like super mum even going this alone and hope all works out. Huge congrats again, I know how much this means to you and I'm so pleased for you xx