Sleep help

A is 18 weeks, has reflux and cmpi and HATES sleeping. She will only fall asleep while being helps and even that takes a battle, even when she's knackered. Then as soon as you move she's awake again and if by some fluke you get her to the crib she's awake either as soon as she's lain down or within minutes. I know ideally the solution is her teach her to self settle but I don't feel that is possible due to her reflux. And as bad as it sounds I don't have the time to sit and settle her in her crib as I have a toddler who already gets very little of my attention. I don't know what to do - i'm at the end of my tether! I've constantly got a whingey baby because shes tired or refluxy or just wants to be hels as she's far too used to it and a toddler who's whingey because she's not getting any time with her mum. I feel so bad and so guilty on both their accounts. Any suggestions please? x

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  • Does she like being upright? It could be uncomfortable for her to be led down due to the reflux. Hopefully when you get that sorted she'll start to sleep better, but in the meantime have you tried a sling or carrier. That way she is still 'held' but you have your hands free to deal with your toddler. It was the only way I managed with S when she was struggling before her intolerance diagnoses. X

  • I wish I had some advice lovey, you've been so supportive to me while going through this yourself!! The only time I get any real sleep from O is in his cradle swing. We do have a poddlepod though that I put him in at night in his crib. He will fall asleep being held so not sure if the pod makes him still feel 'held' as it's close to his body. It is hard to move him from my arms to the pod but I then just keep my hand on his tummy and run his face with my other hand until he doses off. He then grunts/flaps his arms and legs about/throws his head back after he's down but that's a separate issue!

  • LWO, to be honest she doesn't really sleep well when being held either! I just despair at the moment - I feel like we've tried everything. She's currently on neocate milk and omeprozol and domperidone meds and they don't seem to be doing anything - I still have a very unsettled and unhappy baby. MDD, I keep looking at those poddle pods (well probably a toddle pod now!) but I didn't want to spend the money and it not work. Hope your O is a bit better today - make sure you keep on at your gp of you're not happy - I feel like I'm either there or at the hospital at least once a week!

  • If she does have a milk intolerance it could take 2 wks before you notice any difference. Give it a bit longer and hopefully things will improve. Will she take a dummy? I didn't want mine to have one, but they've been a lifesaver in getting them to sleep. Having a sleep cue also helped. We use a violet toy that plays lullabys to indicate that it's time to sleep. You're not going to find a miracle solution, but over time things will get better. X

  • A sling for day time so little one is close to you and feels help but you are hands free for toddler.

    Crib wise things that helpped  with getting disco to settel in his crib were

    proping it up so he wasn't lying flat (we ended up putting pillows under the feet at the head end of the crib as this was the most stable solution for us.

    being swaddle (not to tight) and eiether H or I lying on the swaddle blanket and the fittted sheet for the crib so when disco went in they were warm and smelt of us.

    Also while he is a fab self setteler now he wasn't to start with I often fed him to sleep and then H or I would sit keeping him upright for a good 20 min to an hour to help get him to shim into deep sleep/ ease the reflux.

    It is so hard when you are tired just remeber you are doing a great job

  • Ah I know this well! A will resist all naps as he's much rather investigate what's happening around him. Which is fine except he will then scream the place down because he's completely exhausted! I've been reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley which isn't all relevant but has helped a lot and I've only been Liddell following a few bits of it for the last 6 days. The main bit I'm working on is more naps because after starting the book I realised that if he's completely exhausted I stand no chance of getting him to sleep as he'll be too worked up. So I've been swooping at the first sign of even a tiny bit of tiredness and rocking him to sleep for as long as it takes, taking him out in the car seat or pram, etc. it's really time consuming as at first he would wake up after 5 minutes and I'd have to start over, and I appreciate you haven't got all this time with a toddler too, but if you can find a way for a week (can anyone come and help?) it might be worth it for the time you'll save in the long run? I've noticed that A is less cranky, more receptive to naps (although we still need to rock him at first but not for as long usually) and so goes to sleep at night easier because he's just nicely sleepy rather than completely past himself.

    Last Tuesday (day 1) I spent about an hour rocking, putting in basket, rocking again, etc for a morning nap - this morning he has just woken up after a 45-minute nap, which took only 5 minutes of rocking to instigate. I am totally amazed!

  • I've had no end of trouble getting S to sleep during the day, he's been a nightmare frankly but I think we are getting somewhere now. I though he was way too young to be self settling and would never do it due to his reflux but I actually realised that he was crying more when I held him. He arched his back a lot and I read that this can be a sign that they just want to settle themselves. So now I put him down at the first sign of tiredness and dummy in, white noise on, room dark and I sit next to him and he does go off. Like TT, I've found the more I do it the quicker it becomes. The key is getting his morning nap right because he's not overtired for the next nap then. I know this is probably not as feasible with a toddler to look after though. Will she settle in the pram on a walk? Can you walk her to the park and play with your other LO there so that you get some quality time with her? Failing that, then I back be recommendation of a sling, until the cmpi is under control. You are doing a fab job after everything you've been through lovely xxx

  • As suggested on here a couple of things:

    a sling for those days she just wants you

    tilt her cot (we used giant tins of sweetcorn, yes really, to begin with Laugh) or you can buy sloped mattress additions that help

    keep her upright as much as possible, molly took a lot of naps in her car seat as it was where she was most comfortable

    Swaddle - also help to keep her as still as possible, the more they become distressed the more they flap their arms and legs around, the more they disturb the milk and acid combo in their tiny tummies which cause reflux

    Keep as still as possible for up to half an hour after a feed - car seat can also help with this as it should not be lying.  

    Feed in an upright position

    Do not rock or sway in your arms until an hour after feeds

  • Thank you for all your replies and all the suggestions. I do have a sling I use but I worry its not really resolving the problem - just making it easier for me to cope with it iykwim. Oh, A is screaming so will reply properly in a min. X

  • I always worried about this. S would sleep fine in the sling but never on his own. I got myself all stressed that I should be properly sleep training him but then I realised, if he sleeps in the sling fine while his reflux is bad then fine, there's plenty of time to encourage good sleep habits later, when he's better. Please don't stress yourself out with what she should or shouldn't be doing. The priority at the moment is addressing her reflux and cmpi, once that is under control you can start to worry about sleeping - one thing at a time xxx

  • Lovely, with reflux you cannot resolve the problem you can only soothe it. If it gives you peace and enables you to feel that you are able to be a good mum (which you are, don't doubt it) then what is wrong with doing what is right, right now. I don't believe in all this making a rod for your own back rubbish, do what works for you and your family and don't feel a second of guilt or regret

  • Do what you need to do. The way I look at it is, my baby isn't well and my job is to do what I can to make him feel better. If he had a cold or a temperature and could only sleep in my arms then I wouldn't be resolutely trying to put him in his basket, I'd comfort him, so it's the same with his reflux. If he's having a rough day and can only sleep cuddles into me in the sling, I'll do that because it will help him feel better - and me too, to be honest.

    Once the reflux is easing off you can start to look at the next challenge, sleeping somewhere other than the sling, if and when you want to. But you don't need to tackle all these issues at once! You're not making a rod for your own back. That's a bit like saying you won't carry her around now because she'll only expect you to do it forever ;) Do what she needs at this stage and then change it later as her needs and yours change.

    God I have no idea if this makes any sense. I am tired haha.

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