sleep help - baby self settles but doesn't stay asleep

If I understand correctly, the aim of all the sleep manuals etc is to get a baby able to self settle, as then they won't need you to settle them when they waken during the night. But I seem to have the opposite problem... Baby CV (3 months) can drop off no problem in her basket on her own but will never ever stay asleep for more than 40 mins when she has gone down like that. I leave her to it but she eventually gets really overtired and then getting to sleep again is a full scale operation. If she happens to nod off over her final bottle or being winded, she goes down and stays down. (As she also does after being settled by us after that first waking.)

I am just conscious that self settling is supposed to be a habit that I should encourage if she does it but am increasingly wondering what the point is when I could get her settled for the night/proper daytime nap with a 5 minute cuddle.

Any thoughts? TIA!


  • Have you tried a slumber bear or similar that might help her get back over to sleep when she wakes?

    Imo self settling is great but 3 months old is still very young and if they need a hand to get back to sleep give them it. And throw the manuals away ;) that's just me though, others will probably disagree!

  • Thanks weekender...the thing is I wouldn't even try to make her self settle at this age (we did self settling with first miss CV just before she turned 4!) but it's just because she can do it that I feel we need to stick with it/let her. Except she doesn't stay asleep so Mr CV thinks we should just rock her to get her down and stay down and I'm starting to see his point. I have a white noise app that is always on when she's in her basket.

  • If she settles ok in her crib, and then only wakes once needing assistance, I'd go with it as it can be so tough to get babies/children to that stage by themselves. I'd be wary of rocking her down if she doesn't need to be! (And I'd be very happy with my 18mo only waking once and needing resettling, especially if it was only 40 mins after first going down and not in the middle of the night!)

  • If it were me  I'd go with the 40min naps little and often tbh. E never slept more than 30mins in the early days during nap time, but she also self settled from birth. That said, I'd also go with it wake up wise, as I say because I know e can SS well, if she doesn't or needs help, I give it, and it helps that sleep which means she isn't too tired to SS next time.. If that makes sense?

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