we are back in hospital - useless mummy
C and I got home on Saturday evening, all seemed well, lots of feeding, lots of wet and dirty nappies. Midwife came in on Sunday and thought he looked jaundiced, I said I'd thought the same but had him checked on Saturday and his level was well below the treatment level. She checked him again and it had risen above her cut off point so we were sent back in to get bloods taken. They took bloods (from the back of his hand with a tiny cannula, it was awful) and it was below the level for treatment, sent home to come back on Monday for rechecking. Mondays had risen again, so asked to come back in yesterday. It had then risen to just over the level that they will treat so we have been admitted for phototherapy. When we first got in, I fed him and they topped him up with formula, I then expressed so we could do top ups for the next few feeds to get his fluid levels up. Last night they had me feeding three hourly with expressing in between, my boobs were wrecked but I did it because I'm his mummy and he needs it. Seems they know better though abd although they woke me once during the night to feed him they gave him expressed milk one time, and then at 7am, when I was in a bed about ten yards away, awake, they gave him formula. I'm so angry. But then at the same time they keep commenting on having "got my supply going now so he can flush out the bilirubin" which says to me that it's my fault he's ended up in here - he's not been getting enough from me, despite me thinking we were doing fine. If I don't know he's not feeding properly what kind of mother does that make me?? You'd think second child I'd know what I was doing.
So after them giving him formula at 7am while I was in bed with rock hard boobs he's now sleeping in scbu in his incubator while I'm hooked up to an electric breast pump in a tiny room instead of being with my baby.
No need to reply. Just a brain dump from a hormonal mess of a mother