My partner won't touch me now I'm pregnant - I feel ugly
I've got one month to go before I give birth, and I'm really anxious about my partner being at the birth.
This is because I haven't been intimate hardly at all with my partner while pregnant. It's not just the lack of sex, but it's the lack of touch and intimacy that I've found really hard. Not having sex has meant that there is no touching or anything in bed now. And because of this, I've come to feel really unattractive and physically gross throughout my pregnancy. I'm not massive, I've only put on a bit of weight. My partner rarely touches me or acknowledges my body. He rarely sees me naked, and when he does I'm so embarrassed and shy.
He tells me his loves me, and gives me hugs. But it's not the same. And when I try to initiate anything sexual, he pushes me away.
The plan is to have a water-birth, and obviously with birth he will see everything - which normally I wouldn't care about. I'm quite a liberal and relaxed person. But now, I feel like I'm a stranger physically - and I feel resentful for his behaviour and angry with him for making me feel like this.
I bought it up a while back, but nothing has changed. He said that it feels awkward and that he doesn't find pregnancy sexy - which I understand. I can't blame him for that. But no intimacy at all is hard. I feel like a freak. Anyone who says pregnancy is beautiful is wrong. I feel the opposite of beautiful. While I love my baby inside me, I find it very hard to love myself
If anyone has any advice I'd be most grateful. One month to go and I feel such a stranger from my partner. The only anxious part of the birth for me is him being present now - which is nuts.