My partner won't touch me now I'm pregnant - I feel ugly

I've got one month to go before I give birth, and I'm really anxious about my partner being at the birth. 

This is because I haven't been intimate hardly at all with my partner while pregnant. It's not just the lack of sex, but it's the lack of touch and intimacy that I've found really hard. Not having sex has meant that there is no touching or anything in bed now. And because of this, I've come to feel really unattractive and physically gross throughout my pregnancy. I'm not massive, I've only put on a bit of weight. My partner rarely touches me or acknowledges my body. He rarely sees me naked, and when he does I'm so embarrassed and shy. 

He tells me his loves me, and gives me hugs. But it's not the same. And when I try to initiate anything sexual, he pushes me away. 

The plan is to have a water-birth, and obviously with birth he will see everything - which normally I wouldn't care about. I'm quite a liberal and relaxed person. But now, I feel like I'm a stranger physically - and I feel resentful for his behaviour and angry with him for making me feel like this.  

I bought it up a while back, but nothing has changed. He said that it feels awkward and that he doesn't find pregnancy sexy - which I understand. I can't blame him for that. But no intimacy at all is hard. I feel like a freak. Anyone who says pregnancy is beautiful is wrong. I feel the opposite of beautiful. While I love my baby inside me, I find it very hard to love myself :(

If anyone has any advice I'd be most grateful. One month to go and I feel such a stranger from my partner. The only anxious part of the birth for me is him being present now - which is nuts.

Thank you.

Posts

  • Sounds like you are giving yourself far too much of a hard time, maybe your hormones are playing a huge part in making you feel the way you do.  

    Pregnancy is natural and it is beautiful, you both created it together it's amazing.  

    The weight gain should only be temporary if you've looked after yourself.  But your body may never be exactly what if was.. You may have stretch marks or a more curved tummy. Who cares... your body did something truly amazing... It's natural.  

    Your partner sounds like he's acting like a bit of a douche! Maybe he's worried about something, keep trying to talk to him and find out if /what it is.  he needs to step up and be more supportive As its time to focus on somebody else.  

    Maybe go do something together, hold hands, kiss, cuddle - it's all intimacy.  Intimacy is about feeling.  

  • Sadly many men behave similar - fears of harming baby, fears of hurting you, fears of triggering labour...

    As for the birth, once you are in the throws of labour you honestly won't care who is in the room with you as long as they are helping deliver baby

  • Omg you are me!!!!! 28 weeks

  • My husband is acting the exact way. I'm very disappointed in him. I've told him the lack of emotional and sexual support leaves irreversible scars sometimes. I'm not sure if I'll forget the feeling of loneliness and lack of love.

    He's a great man and wonderful father to our girls. He has dropped the ball when it has come to our intimate relationship.

  • I'm going through the same thing right now I'm 30 weeks and the past couple of months I feel like me and my boyfriend are falling apart. All I get is a kiss and a hug there is no intimacy anymore. I try and try because I'm always in the mood but he pushes me away to the point I feel like giving up because of how horrible I feel about myself . I don't know what to do he watches porn and looks at other girls but nothing to do with me in that way I'm lost should I stay or should I go I just want him to be happy but I also want to be happy as well I don't want to feel so low about myself anymore.

  • I have the same problem. I’m 20 weeks with my second. My first pregnancy he couldnt keep his hands off me but this time is different. It’s not just him I’m also not interested but I desperately want to be and I want him to be too. I have gained weight before this pregnancy and I feel huge and horrible now. 

  • I'm going through the same thing right now I'm 30 weeks and the past couple of months I feel like me and my boyfriend are falling apart. All I get is a kiss and a hug there is no intimacy anymore. I try and try because I'm always in the mood but he pushes me away to the point I feel like giving up because of how horrible I feel about myself . I don't know what to do he watches porn and looks at other girls but nothing to do with me in that way I'm lost should I stay or should I go I just want him to be happy but I also want to be happy as well I don't want to feel so low about myself anymore.

    Has it changed I'm in the same position now I'm scared once babies here it will always be the same
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