Is this a stupid idea?!

Hi everyone
I've got a while to go yet until baby arrives (I'm 20 weeks) but you have all given me such good advice in the past I thought I'd ask you for some more!
I want this baby to have all the benefits of breast feeding, yet I dont actually want to breast feed. I dont know why but the thought of it just turns my stomach. I know this is a really selfish attitude and the milk is there for the baby but I just dont think I can do it. This is my second child and I didnt breast feed the first, I did try but she just wouldnt latch on and the midwife eventually told me to give up and give her a bottle which I did. I think one of the main reasons I dont want to breast feed is that my hubby wont get the chance to feed the baby, and I want him to feel as involved as possible. I spoke to my mother in law about it the other day and she was absolutley horrified when I said I didnt want to breast feed. I spoke to my hubby about it and he said as much as he wants the baby to have all the benefits of breast milk he also wants to be able to give the baby a bottle and be involved. So, I suggested just expressing my milk from the start. It seems like the perfect solution because then baby gets breast milk yet my hubby and 4 year old also get a chance to help with feeding too, but I've never heard of anyone else doing this before so I dont know if its just a stupid idea? But couldnt I just take my breast pump into hospital with my and start expressing right away? I'd really appreciate any feedback on this.


  • You could express exclusively but I think it is supposed to be REALLY hard work. I know it is possible because premature babies are often fed in this way when they are too little to be able to suck properly. A easier solution would be to give some feeds directly and express for others, but obviously if you are not happy feeding directly then that doesn't help. You might find that you feel differently once baby is here, bizarely at the minute I am finding the idea of breastfeeding a bit weird and I fed Millie untill she weaned herself at 10 1/2 months and really enjoyed it, I'm sure once this one arrives I will be quite happy to bf again! I would speak to your midwife and see what she advises, although we all know breast milk is best you might be better giving formula if you are going to exhaust yourself expressing constantly.
    Hope that helped a bit
    Kerry xx
  • Hi Carly, I've no advice on this but was wondering just the same thing! i assumed it would be fine to express from the start but most people don't as it can be quite time consuming as with the steralizing and verything aswell can take a long time every feed. I am hoping to breastfeed from the start, but have very flat nipples (sorry tmi!) so wasn't sure if it would even be possible, and then after that want to express as much as possible so hubby can join in too, plus will be easier when i'm out in public as don't think i could just sit with by boob out in a public place!! I totally understand how you feel about the breastfeedig concept though, and whn i have mentioned this to some of my friends that i hate the thought of it they seem to think i am very weird indeed..but being my first i am hoping to give it a
  • I know this sounds selfish but it sounds like too much like hard work to me! Think of it this way, you will need to first sterilise bottles, pump etc. THEN express your milk (apparently quite tiring in itself). And then feed your baby...every single time. Personally, I think you would be exhausted hun! How about expressing and using formula as well? xxxx

  • Its not a stupid idea at all, i expressed my milk as well as Rhys taking from the breast, purely to give me a break and other family members the chance to feed baby. I personally love breastfeeding Rhys lil face was so cute and i felt that it strengthened my bond with him, but i totally understand it doesn't suit some people. I was also really embaressed to breast feed in public so taking out expressed milk was a great solution. Gud luck with wat ever u decide and gud on u for thinking about it now. Kerry xxx
  • I don't think it's a stupid idea and although I think it's possible I don't know how manageable it will be. Like someone else said it is a lot of hard work.
    A friend of mine was breastfeeding and within 2 weeks started to express quite often so that daddy and other family could feed baby etc. It put baby under a lot of stress due to changing so often between bottle and breast and her nipples were in agony from having to feed and express so much. In the end she just started bottle feeding all the time.
    Personally I would quite like to try and breastfeed but I am also very aware that I don't want to do this for very long. I'm aiming for about 2-3months (possibly less), with the odd bottle of expressed milk along the way so OH can feed etc. But we all know that some babies just don't take to breast feeding and some mums don't produce enough milk so just wait and see...... S x
  • This is something I've also considered, I found bf my son really hard as he took ages!! and at the time my daughter was 18mths and wanted my attention so I started expressing fairly early-within 4-6 weeks and though tiring it helped me to continue giving my child breast milk I could also have more time with my daughter.
    I'm sure when you lo arrives you'll know instantly what you want to do xx
  • I had to sterilise bottles etc with my first so that doesnt really bother me. Can I use formula and breast milk together? I'm planning on just using bottles so baby would still have a bottle, just breast milk or formula.
  • Hi, you may find that your milk supply doesn't last as long or come in as quickly if you purely express as from what I have read expressing doesn't stimulate your milk supply as much as the baby suckling. This obviously will only be a problem if you plan to do it for a long time.

    In terms of formula you should be ok to mix both but I wouldn't change formulas too often as it can really upset a babies delicate stomach.

    Zoey - don't rely on formula to get your baby to sleep through the night. Us December 07 mums have discovered this as we have a mixture of bf, ff, and both bf and ff babies and it hasn't necessarily followed that the ff babies have slept through the night sooner. xx
  • Yep, I'll second that. Millie was exclusively breastfeed and slept much better than my neice who had a bottle of formula before bed. By all means give formula so you can have a rest but it doesn't nescessarily mean you'll get more sleep!
  • I always thought ff babies slept better but apparently not! Went round to visit my oh's uncle, his girlfriend and their lo at the weekend. He's 5 months but has been formula fed since birth, he still has 2 feeds in the night, so it depends on the baby!

    I also thought that BF babies didn't get wind, reflux or colic! But after reading the posts on here, I don't think it makes a big difference, unless your baby disagrees with a certain brand of formula xxx

  • hi i think its great that you are considering things so carefully n not just saying im not gona do ... i breast fed both my babies n found it was different both times my boy fed constantly n i was so tired i gave up quickly where as my girl was 10lb 110z at birth but hardly wanted any milk so i expressed for a few weeks so i could measure exactly how much she was taking! anyway the one bit of advice id give you is if u r serious get a good brand electric pump as the manual ones i tried were torture!!! it may take a while to get your milk supply up but i wouldnt count it out good luck xx
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