I had the tests with all of mine. Not because I would 'get rid', but to prepare myself for the possibility of the baby not being 'perfect'. With the last 2 I talked it over with my (new) partner, and we decided that we would still love them even if they did have downs because they were still our babies. I had a threatened miscarriage just b4 my 12 week scan with my third, and I was devastated when I thought I had lost her. When I saw that little bean on the scan 2 days later, I was so extatic that I absolutely knew that I could never even consider terminating that little life, no matter what.
All my tests came back as low risk, but when I told my MW that I wanted the test done, even tho I would not consider amnio or termination, she thought I was mad! She wondered why I would do that and then worry all thru the pregnancy. Couldnt get her to see that If i was high risk, I would rather know so that I could prepare myself for the possibility.
As for your family and friends, ignore their opinions. This is your baby and only you know what is best for you. Nobody has the right to tell someone else that their opinion is wrong, just because it clashes with theirs. You have to do whats right for YOU. Pregancy is a worrying time as it is, without your nearest n dearest causing you more stress! They should be supporting you whatever you decide, not causing arguments and upset!
Sorry to go on, but I hope this has helped.
Best of luck with your pregnancy, and I hope it all goes smoothly for ya x
Well I personally wouldn't have the test... ive worked with children with all diffrent types of derfomities and althought it is very hard work and some times painful to watch... sometimes its the most rewarding to know no matter what you love that child anyways...
i think about it in terms of if the child where already born and something happened to make them ill or disabled you'd still love them there is so much availalbe is in support for children with learning or physical disabilities.
Of course it is a personal choice but from what you have written it seems you have been just frightened by insensitive comments.. perhaps speak to a doctor or a councilor so that you have a save netrual space to express you wants needs and desisers as well as any fear! xxx
hi ladies, sorry to gatecrash your forum, i have got 4 children and had the tests done with my first 2, i didnt really give it much thought as i supposed i just assumed they would come back ok, which they did. I then lost a lttle girl at 16 weeks because of severe chromosone abnormalities and had another m/c at 11 weeks, when i fell pregnant again i agonised over whether to have the test and as i was 32 i really didnt know what to do, i spoke to my m/w who advised me to go with my heart. i knew that because of the m/c at 16 weeks being down to a chromosome abnormality that my risk may be higher but i couldnt put myself through the test. Alice whos now 3 was fine and her brother isaac is now 7 1/2 mnths and he is fine too. Go with what your heart says, no decision is right or wrong, only you know how you feel.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but if a baby was to be so severly disabled the pregnancy would not continue as, sadly Hayley has experienced.
In most cases Down's children and children with other disabilities can lead a very fulfilling, happy life and go on to be independent. I may have the tests done, just to give me an idea of what I might expect, but I couldn't terminate the pregnancy. That is up to God, not me.
Hi, I refused the test when I was pregnant with my ds and I have just refused it again. Both my mw's told me as I'm only 22 I'm a low risk so my oh and myself have decided against them. I will love my children no matter what and there is no way I could go through with a termination .
Replies
I had the tests with all of mine. Not because I would 'get rid', but to prepare myself for the possibility of the baby not being 'perfect'. With the last 2 I talked it over with my (new) partner, and we decided that we would still love them even if they did have downs because they were still our babies.
I had a threatened miscarriage just b4 my 12 week scan with my third, and I was devastated when I thought I had lost her. When I saw that little bean on the scan 2 days later, I was so extatic that I absolutely knew that I could never even consider terminating that little life, no matter what.
All my tests came back as low risk, but when I told my MW that I wanted the test done, even tho I would not consider amnio or termination, she thought I was mad! She wondered why I would do that and then worry all thru the pregnancy. Couldnt get her to see that If i was high risk, I would rather know so that I could prepare myself for the possibility.
As for your family and friends, ignore their opinions. This is your baby and only you know what is best for you. Nobody has the right to tell someone else that their opinion is wrong, just because it clashes with theirs. You have to do whats right for YOU. Pregancy is a worrying time as it is, without your nearest n dearest causing you more stress! They should be supporting you whatever you decide, not causing arguments and upset!
Sorry to go on, but I hope this has helped.
Best of luck with your pregnancy, and I hope it all goes smoothly for ya x
i think about it in terms of if the child where already born and something happened to make them ill or disabled you'd still love them there is so much availalbe is in support for children with learning or physical disabilities.
Of course it is a personal choice but from what you have written it seems you have been just frightened by insensitive comments.. perhaps speak to a doctor or a councilor so that you have a save netrual space to express you wants needs and desisers as well as any fear! xxx
In most cases Down's children and children with other disabilities can lead a very fulfilling, happy life and go on to be independent. I may have the tests done, just to give me an idea of what I might expect, but I couldn't terminate the pregnancy. That is up to God, not me.