i am miserable can someone please help me

I used to be the ultimate party girl. I would be out every weekend both nights and get drunk with my mates. I also used to smoke and loved it.

I have given all of that up now because of it being unhealthy for my baby and I accept that that is how my life will be from now on.

If I do go out with my friends though, they are all drinking and dancing, whilst I am sober and wishing I was at home tucked up in bed. I don't want to miss out on seeing my friends, I feel alone as it is, but during the day they are all sleeping off hangovers or at work.

I sometimes get depressed and talk to them about it, but all they can say is, oh think what you'll have at the end of it, it'll all be worth it. I know it sounds irrational, but all I can think of then is that nonme of them care that I am miserable now, it just doesn't matter becuase in 7 months I'll be happy. I don't know how t tell them that this isn't what I want to hear.

Please can someone help me. I'm so unhappy and I don't know what to do. My baby wasn't planned and the father doesn't want to know either. I feel all alone and i have no idea where to get help. please x


  • Hi Stephanie, you need to give yourself time to get used to being pregnant. Can you not goes out with your mates but do something different like the pictures or for a meal? Can you speak to ur closest friend and really tell her how u feel? I am sure that if she was a good mate then she will be understanding. I am sure that you will find logging on here a big help as everyone is so friendly and we all have bad days were we feel the way you do now. Also speak to your midwife and she if there are any groups you can join for people in the same position as you. I know our midwife ran an early anti natel class (I was about 10 weeks) so that we could meet other mums to be and talk things through. Hope you feel better soon, and I am here if u wana chat some more. Tammi xxx
    28 weeks
  • thank you. i've been told not to get in touch with the midwives until i am 12 weeks but i think i'll call them next week i feel really guilty for ranting. thats not what anyone wants to hear. so sorry xxxxxx
  • Hey at the end of the day thats what we are all on here for, to give each other support so rant away babe!!!! Its better to do it on here that sit worring about how u r feeling. Def give ur midwife a ring I am sure she will have heard it from lots of new mums to be and will be more than happy to help you!
    Tammi xxx
  • thats defo the best idea. i feel so much better already. i didn't even think that was poss lol. maybe its true, a problem shared is a problem halved...halfed...1/2ed. no idea how to spell it image) xxxxx
  • Thats the pregnancy brain kicking in already! Wait till u r like me and start trying to do silly things like put the kettle in the fridge and the milk back on the kettle base! Plus all my words come out jumbled up so husband is always taking the mick out of me and I have even started to snort like a pig when I laugh??? Whats that all about???
  • Hello Gemma+1,
    I totally agree with tamarabell. This is the best place to be, people are just so lovely. My midwives never told me about these websites that I could go onto and talk to other mums. I've had my baby now, but it makes me feel so much better that I'm not the only one going through the tough times. I wish I'd known about this before. The magazines and books just don't come anywhere near the feeling you get here... Feels like my 2nd home image
  • I know the feeling here Gemma! my lo wasn't planned, was shitting it about telling my oh coz we'd only just got bk together at the time, i'd just started a new course at college after messing up with my a-levels twice image n then when i got round to telling mates at college they completely blanked me only really talk to one or two now but on the odd occassion i do see anyone from college they're all saying how broody they're getting... & to top it all off my dad didnt speak to me for the first 4/5 months of pregnancy n i had oh family trying to tell me what to do.
    Don't worry hun, you're not alone! if you've got msn n wana chat over there my address is [email protected]


  • Hey Gemma forgot to mention I am on facebook under Tammi Scott if you want to add me as a friend, I will also send u an invite to join bump budies which has loads of members from here on it, basically somewhere else that we can all chat and share photos of our scans and bumps!
    Tammi xxx

  • aww honey i know a little of what your going through. My partner and i used to be out every weekend and my house was the place where everyone piled after closing time. I've tried going out with friends as usual but once their all pissed i get really bored, i've tried coming up with suggestions for other things but so far i've been to the pics once! my sat nights are now at home watching casualty and a bag of sweeties. my bf has been fab but he still doesnt feel what i feel. i've found this website to be great, ive had a lot of questions answered by women who are going through the exact same problems/emotions/joys. hope you feel better soon. Love Ruth xx
  • thank you so much for all your help everyone it has made me feel loads better. i will apologise in advance for the following rant but I feel that if I don't get this all out then I will explode.. i just find it really hard sometimes because I feel alone a lot. My mum refuses to discuss the fact that I am pregnant becuase I am only 19, despite having me at the same age. I have a few close friends, but they all seem to have gone on holiday at the same time. I can't even relax when I'm at home though because my housemate was forced into an abortion and is still screwed up in the head about it all and when I am with her I feel guilty for being pregnant if you know what I mean. I was OK to start with becuase when I actually told the father he said that he would be there for me and now he has changed his mind about it and says that he wants nothing to do with me or our child. I can't seem to stop crying and I sometimes sit alone and wonder if anyone would really notice if I wasn't here. I feel so scared about everything and i just don't know where to go. So sorry again and thank you xxxxxxx
  • Aw hon - Tammi has given you the best advice, stick around here and also get in touch with some of your local groups.

    I had my 1st when I was 18 with no support from the father etc and had to give up my social life immediately. It's hard, but you get used to it - your priorities just change so fast it's hard to take in sometimes.

    To add to what Tammi says, start meeting your friends in different places than you used to, meals, girls nights in etc etc - it doesn't have to include drinking etc. Get in touch with SureStart - they'll probably even be able to put you in touch with other young mums (I'm assuming you're quite young?) in your area - making friends with other people in similar situations to you will really help.

    It's ok to be scared as well - I'm scared and I'm now married and having my 4th child so it doesn't completely go away!!

    Big hugs to you - things will get better I promise......
  • thank you so much for making me feel better everyone. All the things i've been worrying about seem smaller now. It's nice ot know that i'm not alone and that there are people there to talk to xxxxxxxxx
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