am I being a cow?

Hi mummies and bumps
I dont know if its just me having high expectations, but my husband just doesnt seem excited about the baby. I always seem to feel really let down and disappointed in his reactions to things, like if the baby's kicking I have to nag him to feel it and when he does he doesnt say anything so I ask him if he felt it and he goes "yeah" but he seems to have no reaction. Is it just mine or are some other peoples Oh's like this? I love him so much and I know he loves me, he works really hard to pay the bills and have money left over so we can do things we enjoy and buy nice things for the baby but its not all about money, I'd just love some show of emotion! I feel really guilty saying all of this but I just cant help feeling let down, he doesnt talk to my bump or anything like that but he is perfectly happy to talk about the baby. I just imagined the pregnancy being a really exciting time for us both and bringing us closer together but so far I feel kind of alone in it all. Am I just being hormonal?
xxx

Posts

  • You arent a cow babe!

    Think its a man thing! My OH is defo like yours but when I have really been worried or scared he pulled through and showed he really does care! I have had to put my OHs hand on bump and repeat constantly - can you feel him? Response - course I can!

    Honestly, your man will come through for you when you least expect it!!!!
  • it's a man thing! DH has been the same with all of them. yesterday was nice coz he and the kids sat with me on the bed stroking and talking to Abi, they put their head on her,I told the kids that she can hear them now so they were trying to hear her!! Bless!! I know DH is excited but he just doesn't have the same interest in the baby things like I do. Some sleep suits arrived this week and I sat with them for ages coz I couldn't remember the other 2 fitting into something that small,he's like yes dear, now put them away!
  • It must be a man thing then! I just wish he would show a bit more emotional support.
    xxx
  • I agree - a man thing!
    My hubby won't talk to bump either but I know that it is because he feels silly xxx
  • I agree definatley a man thing!!
    I made the effort to go with him for dinner at the MIL's house-which believe me is an effort!! We get there to find he has agreed to fit her kitchen, I remain calm-though it's keeping my children up late and just mention on the way home that I would prefer to be warned next time and he goes all nasty!!
    I mean, it's uncomfortable, I want to be home in my comfy clothes and I'm tired-instead I'm dealing with his mother-AAARRRGGHH!!
  • Definately a man thing, my oh couldn't be a better dad and I know he is really looking forward to having another but he just doesn't get as excited over little stuff as me. When we got the new double pushchair I was busy pushing it around the lounge and he just kept looking at me and saying "Are you going to put that away?" They just don't get it!
  • i think its defo a man thing. my fella doesnt stroke my belly and only talks to baby when hes drunk!! i sorted the nursery out the other day and put the pram together and his response is 'thats nice' thanks for the gratitude. but i know that hes excited bout becomin a dad - just wish he would show it a bit more!! i think cos its not happenin to them they cant see how it will change. wait till baby arrives!!lol.hel have a shock.lol.xxx
  • Yep, I agree too. My 12 year old son has shown more interest in my bump than my OH. My son Kyle finds the whole thing fascinating and will talk to the baby and blow rasberries on my belly. I must admit my partner did say to me "I think the whole thing will hit home when the baby gets here"

    Yeah am sure it will!!!
    12 years is a big gap between kids, i think we've forgotten what it was like first time round. But am sure it will all come flooding back.
  • you aint a cow hun id feel the same. when i was pregnant last year my partner was the same and i just didn understand and my mum said no one not even ya bf be as excited as you whos carrying and feeling baby kick lol weather true i dont know. but it can be so frushstrating hun. loving the bump hun. x x sorry i aint been much help x IM sure once baby here he wont be able to put baby down x
  • My oh's not too bad, but he's def not as into things as id like, Id feel exactly the same as you-but he has shown odd things. He has the scan picture on his phone as his background (didnt put it their straight away mind, took him a while to get rid of the cat lol) He's moaned about his brother a few times, saying how he only got involved with his kids after they were past a certain stage (out of nappies and talking ect.) and how he thinks that wrong.
    Although sometimes I have to force him to feel bump move or just watch it (I think he gets bored waiting for something to happen whereas I could sit there for ages until lo moves) a while ago I was cuddling him in the morning and he felt the baby move through his back and he told everyone at work that day. xxxx

    http://tickers.tickerfactory.com/ezt/d/1;10051;28/st/20080729/dt/5/k/9e45/preg.png

  • Hey ya Love! My OH is a babe & I can't fault him, he has come to labour classes with me (at his request), I rang him telling him off and crying yesterday (he hadn't actually done anything wrong.. but emotionally I was all over the place) & he was so loving towards me, Gives me cuddles & kisses all the time, runs baths for me, back rubs, cooks meals for me, comes to all appointments he can (when not working), he is very good to supports me money wize, talks about baby with me all the time...

    lol but when it comes to touching bump it's fine unless bump decided to move :L then I get an 'Errr it's like a snake uncoiling' & he won't talk to bump because he feels silly... even tho the MW told him baby could hear him..

    I think just for fellas they know it's happening but for us it's already happened.. they wait for the birth for it to be really real... you think we carry these (huge in my case) bumps around ALL day and it's all anyone every talks to us about (strangers and all), we have all the symptoms and aches and pains... they only have to really think about it when it pop's into there heads! :L

    He show's it I think but just maybe in diffrent ways, He has already brought home a Football Kit.. and talks excitedly about playing foot ball, and buying toys, and taking him on holiday.. he provides, he looks after me emotionally and in turn that his way of looking after baby too..

    lol and when I think about it sometimes my belly looks like it has an alian inside it... the whole concept of having a whole human being inside of another is pretty strange even tho it is perfectly natrual...

    I'm sure he'll fall in love with baby when baby is born because thats really when he gets to meet them!!

    I never personally understood pregnancy in its true entirety like I have since i've been pregnant.. I walked to the high street and back sat with OH which in total took about 15 mins ( I was stopping every two) I burst into tears when I got home because 'i just wasn't able for it' & the men in the house just looked at me whereas my OH's sister started to cry looking at me (she has had 4 babies) and said she remembers that feeling!

    maybe just mention how you feel about it all, might not do a complete U turn but he may take it on board! xxx
  • Hi my oh is the same im only 15weeks but it takes over our lives & he doesnt seem that bothered perhaps he might change who knows. Men cant live with them cant live without them lol
  • They say a woman is a mummy from the day she finds out she's pregnant, but a man isn't a daddy until he holds the baby - i guess for some this is true, for others it isn't, but maybe explain to him that it's not for the baby's sake you want more attention, it's for yours, and he might understand a bit better and relate that on the end of this bump is his wife and she needs some support! xxx
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