My Brother and his girlfriend just lost their baby

Hi everyone im after a bit of advise my brother and his girlfriend went for their 12week scan today and found out their baby had died at about week 8, i cant even begin to imagine how they feel, The other thing on my mind is going to see them in hospital tomorrow i dont know what to say to them as i am 30weeks pregnant with my second child today so am obviously very noticably pregnant and i dont want to cause anymore upset any suggestions what i should do or say????? Will be very grateful for all help x

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  • Hi, the same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago so I know how they feel. To be honest I dont think there is much you can say that will make them feel better. Seeing pregnant women was upsetting for me but its a natural reaction, nothing personal. Sorry I havent helped have i!! Just say how sorry you are and say you are there if they need anything. Sorry if this is a bit useless!! xx
  • Any help is better than none at all thanks alot ladies x
  • hi, sorry to hear about your brothers baby. Maybe it would be best if you called your brother first before going to the hospital. If his girlfriend isnt up to it, then its better him telling you on the phone than her at the hospital. You dont want to upset yourself either. Hope you work it out and sorry if this aint much help.

    elle x
  • Sorry to hear about your brothers loss. My OH brother and his partner lost a baby at 19wks, and not long after we found out we were expecting our first. I dreaded telling them and this sounds awful but i stayed away as much as possible coz i felt guilty. They were so happy for us tho, so then i felt bad for staying away. I think although its a terrible tragedy they will understand and be happy for ur healthy pregnancy and im sure they wont be upset by u visiting. Its a sad sad event that is unfortunately very common and people will deal with it in their own time and way. U shudnt feel bad tho. Kerry xxx
  • I have seen my brother today since he found out and he was ok with me he came to borrow some new nightshirts for his girlfriend as she is staying in for a while they found a large growth on her ovary so need to do some tests on that so she is very worried about it being something serious which is why i feel the need to go and see her to make sure she is coping in that sence of the matter. I just dont want her thinking im rubbing her nose in it as such as all we have talked about for weeks is babies and prams etc.
  • Firstly let me say how sorry i am for your brothers loss, i know exactly how you feel. My husbands best friend girlfriend has just lost their baby at 6 months due to complication and i am 19 weeks pregnant but quite noticable as i've not long had my first son.
    They had a funeral for their little one and i didn't know what to do for the best. You want to comfort them but at the same time don't want to upset them with your bump. In the end my partner went and explained to his friend that i didnt want to cause him any more upset.
  • i know it probably sounds really stupid, but maybe you could wear something less obviously pregnant, and definitly call before you go up there. that way she will know your not trying to rub it in her face and that you just care about how they are doing with the unfortunate sitaution???
    sorry if it dont help much, just thinking about how i would feel if i was in that sitaution and some one pregnant came to see me. sarah 20weeks xx
  • Hi thanks for all the advise, it has been good to listen to as it was i didnt go to see her at the hospital as she signed herself out to deal with the miscarraige herself at home which after the tablets happened yesterday im still dreading seeing her but have text her a couple of times to let her know how sorry i am about her loss and to let her no she only has to ask if she needs anything which she did reply to with thanks other than that im not sure what else i can do, my mum has spoken to my brother who is keeping us informed and he has said they are just wanting to be alone at home for a bit to come to terms with it which we are all obviously respecting and staying away. Good news about the growth though the hospital have said its nothing to worry about i.e not the big C its a cist that can be removed without causing any damage. thanks to everyone for their help.Sophie 30+3
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