Hello! Long post attached 😊

I am 37 years old and have a son who is 18 in July and have also had 15 miscarriages, with the last being 3 years ago. Following our last loss, my husband and I decided enough was enough and it was time to call it a day with expanding our family, focusing instead on what we have rather than what we lost. We've had some really amazing holidays, I was finally allowed a dog (haha!) and my husband and i have spent alot of time repairing the damage to our relationship that all of the trying and loss had caused.

Four years ago, I also discovered that i have rheumatoid arthritis. I have been placed on a medication that can affect fertility and cause problems in pregnancy, it was another reason that we decided it was time to enjoy each other instead of focusing on having another baby.

Yesterday, I woke up with the strangest feeling that i am pregnant, despite being certain i couldn't fall pregnant because of my medication - four tests later, with beautiful, strong positive lines (all my miscarriages had very faint positives, so this is new to me!) and here i am! 

I can't really explain how I feel, I am terrified that i am going to lose another pregnancy, I am 37 now - a "geriatric" mother to be, what implications is that going to have? I have concerns relating to my medications and more so when I am ill and can't walk or when my arms and hands are so painful I can't hold anything for a long period. 

Yet, this time, I have a heart full of hope! I really am praying for a baby that sticks this time!