How long did people wait to tell?

Hi everyone,

Can I just ask when people told friends and relatives they were expecting? I'm 8+5. We've told close family and friends, and my mum managed to get drunk and tell a lot of my family at my sister's wedding, and we are now getting pressure off my mother in law to tell her family, but I still think it's too early and am paranoid that as soon as I let everyone know, it'll all go wrong!

How long did everyone else wait? Do you think we should wait until the 12 week scan?

Charlotte x


  • First time around everyone knew at about 5-6 weeks pregnant. We moved the wedding forward so just decided to tell people the reason rather than when they are guessing. Everything went fine and 12 week scan was 2 days after the wedding.

    Second time around we kept it a secret and only told MIL so she could babysit on appointments without asking questions. Unfortunately at the 12 week scan we found out the baby had died a few weeks earlier. We told than some close friends and family to get some support. But none of the friends knew.

    Third and fourth where to short to tell anyone.

    Now we are on the fifth pregnancy and told only MIL. This morning we had our 12 week scan and everything was fine, so we put it on facebook today. MIL told family just after the scan and my parents will find out on saturday. (when I go back home to Holland for a holiday) Than they can tell the rest of the family when they want.

    My advice is that it can go either way. First time around I was so happy that people knew and to be honest I hate keeping it a secret. After the first time we lost a pregnancy I know I want to keep it a secret, it is so much easier not to tell everyone things went wrong. However the first time around it was really nice to talk to friends who had been through pregnancy before.
  • its totally up to u when u tell people and who u tell when. its worth considering who u would want to help/support u if, god forbid, somehting were to go wrong, and who u wouldn't want to know. perosnally with ds we told my parents, Oh's parents and brother and my best friend and that was it unitl after our 12week scan. this time round we told my parents, his parents and brother, my sister and brother (had quite a lot of early scans due to bleeding and when all was well at the 9week one figured it wouldn't harm to tell my siblings, particulalry as my bro was over from jersey so would expect me to have a few drinkies) and then two of my closefriends who were also ttc or newly pregnant themselves and we were all sort of sharing each other's journeys, iyswim? so even then was only immediate family and two close friends who were also in a similar boat. didn't tell anyone else until after our 13week scan. also if u do only want a few select people to know make sure u don't tell anyone who is likely to pass on ur news, i can't think of anything worse than otehr people spreading our happy news, particulalry if ur trying to keep it schtum. xx 23+5
  • Thank you so much for the advice. It's my first baby and I'm so excited that I just want to tell the world. However, I'm not very good at accepting sympathy so think i may wait just a little longer. I don't think I could cope with everybody telling me how sorry they are should anything go wrong (Touch wood it won't!)

    Brieghlin, sorry to hear about your second (See I'm doing it now!) I hope your family are flourishing now x
  • Would also say that it's completely up to you. Personally I don't see a problem with telling people earlier than the 12 week scan, but understand why you would want to wait. With my first we told people between the 5th and 10th week. With my 2nd I had a few bleeds and didn't have a good feeling so we waiting til around 12 weeks (thankfully everything was fine).
  • We've told close friends, and some family but we will be waiting until after the 12 week scan to tell the rest of the world. I just figured at the 12 week scan we can make sure baby is really in there and all is ok. If we did loose the baby before then i wouldn't want everyone to know, the people who know we are expecting would be told if we lost a baby so we figured it was ok to tell them early.

    It's totally up to you though xx
  • i've told close friends and family. my mum and my sister have pretty much told everyone i've ever met. which has really f****d me off! at my mums wedding the other week i was getting loads of people i dont know coming to congratulate me. in the end i was askin them who told them because i haven't told my own friends yet so i dont really want my mums friends knowing!

    with my first i told everyone pretty much straight away
  • Hiya

    Im only 8+3 and have only told closest friend and Mum guessed when i wasnt drinking at a meal. Hubby has told his brother and sil as he was ready to explode!
    We have had an early scan so have seen a HB which has taken off some worry.
    We are going to tell his family when we come back from Morocco. This is purely to save on the lectures about flying during pregnancy. As obv pregnancy is an illness and flying is the work of the devil. They think wales is foreign for goodness sake!

    I think we will do the announcing after first scan tbh as i have had a mc previously and still a bit worried tili get to 12 weeks!
  • I told my bro, SIL and best friend as soon as I conceived so I would have someone to get excited with (I couldn't have coped with not telling anyone and the baby is donor conceived so no dad to share with) and then gradually told others as and when I saw them and as it came up in conversation really.

    The people I had to specifically phone to tell, like my Dad who lives in France, I waited until 12 weeks.

  • I dont know how we did it but we waited until 13 weeks. We had our scan at 12+5 (3 days after my SIL's wedding). We wanted to wait until after the wedding as we knew that family would see it as us "stealing thunder" from the wedding, so we got so far and thought we may as well tell everyone in one day so got to 13 weeks and did it. Not everyone was happy for us (some didnt talk to us for a few weeks) but hey ho they get over it... but thats families for you. I hope yours are better with good news than mine :lol:
  • We told our parents and sisters more or less as soon as we found out at about 6 weeks.
    We were meant to be getting married on the 6th Aug (4 weeks before due date) so then felt we had to tell those people who were coming from abroad, as we've postponed the wedding til next year, so they didnt book flights.
    I ended up telling a couple of people at work because I'm a teacher and had really bad sickness all day every day and just had to keep running out of the classroom!!
    We didnt tell anyone else til after our 12 week scan because we wanted to be sure everything was alright and I didnt want to tell people and then have to go back and tell them it wasnt happening if something had gone wrong!

    Sarah 37+1
  • our parents knew after our first scan. everyone else (brother / sister other family, friends) we told after the 20 weeks scan. in loose clothing it wasnt obvious i was pg! i was still wearing low rise size 10 skinny jeans at that stage!
  • our families knew about 6-7 weeks i told the people i work with today! i still think its early but i need my risk assesment doing! And a bigger uniform, lol. fingers crossed all is okay!

    Lauren 12+2
  • We told our parents pretty much as soon as we found out at about 4/5 weeks. We told our close friends after we had an early scan at 7 weeks but waited until we'd had our 12 week scan before we told everyone else, hubby was worried about something going wrong so wanted to hold out as long as possible. I kept swinging between wanting to tell everyone and keeping it quiet because everyone knew we were trying and i'd been desperate for a baby for...well ever but I was worried that telling people would jinx it! Seems silly now i'm 29+3 with a healthy baby boy!
  • can anyone help me? Im 9 weeks with my 1st baby an ive got pains in my tummy? is this normal. mam says its because mt skin is stretching.
  • I'm also nine weeks and get pains! I was absolutely petrified the first time as your mind just does somersaults, but it really is completely normal! My colleague at work put my mind at rest by saying as you go on, everything hurts. Your mum's right. It's just skin and your womb stretching. Baby gotta go somewhere!!!! Only worry if it's like really bad period pain and you have heavy bleeding x x x
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