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while weare on the subject of rudeness...

if i had a pound for every person who has asked 'was it planned?' i'd be able to buy something rather nice for baby, maybe not quite a pushchair but definitely a few bits from Mothercare!!

it's so frustrating... yes my baby was planned and i would hate to deny that. its quite dfficult at work though cos i am 12+1 and worked there only 13 weeks so its an obvious question for them but still effin rude. i have said to my boss, that it was unexpected (which actually is very true - we were not expecting to get pregnant so quickly) but certainly not an accident.

and also, why does everyone think it is acceptable to run over to me and pat my tummy all the time. apart from there being not much to feel, its just ignorant .... errrr hello, my body!!!!

apart from that rant... had 12 week scan today and all went very well, sonographer was a but rude, but i guess she is bored!!!!



  • I agree, its one of those questions that has no right or wrong answer and is also extremely personal so why ask it! I dont like people invading my space at any time and find it really uncomfortable when they start touching my belly so I started touching theirs back, its quite funny to see the shock on their faces and also the realisation of how personal what they are doing is!
  • i love scan pics never had a twelve week one, always get a dating scan instead which is nice but at twelve weeks they look like propper babies!!! as for the rudeness i always get are they planned comments . yes they all ahev been but if they hadnt? r babies concieved by accident any less special??? i dont bloody think so my best freind is like the worlds most fertile women and always ends up in tears while explaining to sometimes complete strangers that no they werent planned but they are extremely loved!!!!
  • Lol, im gonna try that one next time some nosey old bitch (and it is only the women that do it) touches me, just touch her back!!! i even had a friend kiss my belly last week. shit .... this baby is MINE not YOURS, this belly is MINE not yours!!!!! certainly wouldnt have kissed her belly back tho. lol xx
  • The touching their belly is a good one, makes them realise exactly what they are trying to do and what an invasion it is. I had 4 people who work for me - no not colleagues, I am their boss - ask me if it was planned! As lollyhatch says, does it matter? And you work for me, how nosey! How do they know this is not a completely traumatic experience where we could have been trying for years and given up all hope, or that no it wasn't planned but we still want baby, is that not the important thing.
    People will never understand how invasive they are. One guy asked me and I told him that was a very personal question and he said oh come on we are all adults here. Yes, pal, I am sure you are having sex too but THAT'S NOT MY POINT!!
    Don't be scared about a bit of rudeness ladies, we should be allowed to get away with it, just blame the hormones!!
  • I've had a couple of people ask "was it planned?", which I thought was a bit rude - I felt like saying "now let me ask you about your sex life", but managed to restrain myself!! Don't think I've had any unwanted tummy touching though - I think I give off a bit of a 'don't touch me' vibe!!
  • There's a woman at work who's constantly making comments about my size. I've been very patient with her as she's had 4 mc's & I think some of it may be down to jealousy, but I honestly felt like ripping her head off this morning when I saw her in the canteen & she said "you're massive"!!
  • I was a size 6/8 pre pregnancy and started off at 8stone 5lbs.

    Im now 23+3 and weighing 9stone 11. I am still managing to get into my size 8 jeans.

    A woman at work (who is TTC at the moment, is a size 22 and weighs weighing 17 stone) has constantly been glaring at me when ive been eating and making comments like"you wanna watch how much you're eating" and "you're getting weighed in an hour and you're eating THAT"

    She topped it all off by saying "You wanna be wary of what you eat, the pounds dont come off so easily when the babys born"


    Ive gained 20lbs already and i am worried about it but i certainly dont need comments like that to make me feel even worse

  • i guess i am lucky i have no one say anything to me yet or try and touch my bump! hmm maybe it will start now!! u should get that t shirt that says 'don't touch the bump' haha xx
  • i have had to answer that question too....honestly...people are so effin rude...
    I also told a colleague this morning-and she immediately asked me when im getting married then (i am engaged and have been for the last year)..but not going to rush marriage just because i am pregnant...AM I LIVING IN THE 1950's???!!!
    I just laughed it off and told her i was in no rush-and she looked horrified.
    Also another 'friend' asked was it planned and when i answered yes, she said 'oh i suppose you two are stable and have a place so its ok'
    honestly they should tread carefully as my pregnancy progresses because i will be just as insensitive to them now...(AND i can blame the hormones! ;o) xx
  • Yeah Ive had to answer that question, to be honest-our little one wasnt planned but I dont see how that makes any differnce at all, both me and my partner are extremely happy about the situation and our baby is going to be just as loved as any planned baby.
    When I say well no it was a bit unexpected Ive had people say ''oh-well that doesnt matter though does it'' it doesnt, but you obviously think it does-I mean why ask otherwise?

    Ive noticed a lot of people dont seem to realise that pregnant women have hormones all over the place either to be honest-they feel like they can comment on whatever they want and it wont make a differnce.
    Im fed up of this bloke my oh knows-they're not friends more people who happen to drink in the same place..I know him from when I worked in the pub as well, but sayinf ''hello fatty'' seriously-next time Im just gunna end up blowing up on him.
    Some of my friends as well, really annoyed me a few months ago-I tried to arrange a day out for us all and one of them took over, which I didnt mind-but then she made it completely inaccessable to me and when I pointed that out a bunch of them jumped in basically saying I was being unreasonable, there was nothing wrong with spending ??50 on a day trip when I wouldnt be able to do anything and a bunch of other stuff, then she piped up and said how she was getting really upset by the whole thing...she was getting upset!! I was the one with all the hormones and the one who everyone was making out to be the bad guy when all Id said was I wouldnt be going on the trip but id love to meet them all for a meal or something someother time...sorry-little rant there;10051;28/st/20080729/dt/5/k/9e45/preg.png

  • Yeah I've had this question asked too and it was from a very close friend of mine. I replied by saying, just because we didn't broadcast to everyone that we were trying, doesn't mean it wasn't planned! Bloody cheek!

    Also, when I was back home visiting my brother a few weeks ago me and my sil bumped in to a woman who I haven't seen in years, my sil blurted out that i was expecting and the woman replied... oh, well if that's what you want! Cheeky cow, of course it's what I want!

    Luckily I haven't had anyone try to touch my tummy yet but I don't actually have a bump yet, I expect the touching is yet to come... I'll be saying something to them if they try it lol

  • Saw this thread and just had to reply. Its only very early days for me at 6+2 but alot of people at work know already (not really my decision but due to the nature of my work its necessary and has obviously become common knowledge fairly quickly)
    Well the other day one of my male colleagues said to me "So is the rumour that your expecting true".
    I relunctantly agreed and he replied "well whatever floats your boat i suppose!" I was a bit shocked but not as much by what he said next.
    He paused for a few mins, looked me up and down and said "Are you even married".
    I couldnt believe it. I am married but why would it of mattered if i wasnt! I was horrified. He is obviously old fashined but come on were in the 20th century!!!
    HOW RUDE!!!
    Ive also had several people ask if it was planned, people just have to interfere.x
  • My ex and i are no longer together and this baby wasnt planned so i get even more filthy looks and stuck up comments. When people ask (which happens regularly) is it was planned i reply "no, the timing wasnt great and i wasnt gonna keep the baby but changed my mind on the day of the abortion, guess il just have to deal with the sacrifices and im actually really glad i changed my mind now"

    Theres alot of stigma against young single mothers. Im gonna be 21 when this baby is born but im gonna work so damn hard to finish university, get a good career, buy my own house and give my little girl everything she could ever want.

    Im past caring what other people think. Il be honest and if they dont like it or have something nasty to say they can kiss my hairy bump image xxxx
  • When I told my gran that I was expecting again she actually said 'Oh no, what did you do that for? You've already got a baby' I am 30, married and I wasn't aware that children were rationed! I think that there is always someone ready to give you and opinion that you didn't ask for!
  • Whenever I see my ex-husband (unfortunately quite often as we share a daughter) he says "hello fatty", but his girlfriend tells him off, which is good! It's only because he's jealous cos he knows I'm happier now than I ever was when I was with him! Ha!
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