i want to kil him!!

im really sorry but this could be a long rant and not preganacy related but i also don't want to go to prison for killing my fella.

my oh seems to be getting more and more distant, he spends most evenings at his mates for 'an hour' which is never and hour and wonders why i ring him up and get mad. on monday i went out for lunch and at 6 rang him up to tell him id be an hour so he turns up home after 8 and said he had been for a 'drive.' yesterday was the final straw, instead of coming home after work he went to his mates and didnt bother to let me know so im sat at home hungry, waitnin like a right plank. to make matters worse hed rung me up whilst i was at my mates demanding to know if i lied bout the bloody supermarket i went to!!
and he couldnt work out why i was cryin and angry, no apology, no hugs, cuddles, nothin. he then couldnt get far enough away from me in bed this mornin before he went to work and then i have found out that he didnt come to bed until after 5am!!!

i just feel he is been a selfish, inconsiderate bastard, this baby is due in 7 weeks so cant work out whether he is scared il never let him out after the baby has been born or what but i havent been out since i found out i was pregnant and stay in every evenin.

i know im not the easiest person to live with at the mo but am i been completely un reasonable and hormonal? as at other times he is so affectionate and lovin and tells me how wonderful i am and how much he loves me. im so mad at him today that i want to kick him out until he apologises!! help.
xxx

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  • Ah babyfizz. I'm sorry I can't be of more help but have you tried just talking to him to find out what the problem is and telling him how you feel?
    Why not ring or text him and ask him to come straight home tonight as you are cooking a special meal or something and you need to talk to him as you are feeling alone or hormonal and need him.
    I'm sure the hormones aren't helping but it doesn't seem very fair what he is doing.
    Let us know how you get on.

    Rachel.
    32 wks. xx
  • i have tried several times to discuss this with him and most of the time he'll apologise and say he'l spend all his time with me and do something together but then we do nothing together and he starts going out again 'for an hour' - im sick of that phrase! last night he just said it wasnt the case that he didnt love me - why dont they get that they have to show us that not just tell us!?
    im gettin tearful thinking bout it cos im convinced hes goin to leave me and is only stayin with me because im pregnant, which he doesnt seem to particularly be bothered bout at the moment!! wont even discuss a birth plan or fill in the baby book. xxx
  • aww hun. I dont really have any advice but didnt want to read and run. Your not being unreasonable or hormonal at all, I wouldnt expect my husband to treat me like that if I was pregnant or not. All I can suggest is that you pin him down and tell him you need to talk it all through and sort it out. I find that in the heat of the moment I can never get my words out right or explain exact problems or situations so if I have something bothering me I write it down and examples of it so I can talk it through calmly. I hate to make you feel even worse but when the baby comes it's going to put even more pressure on you as a couple and it needs sorting before bubs arrives because it isnt fair on you or baby. He sounds a little bit like my hubby in the sense that he thinks if he does one thing then it'll all be forgotten! We had a row a few weeks ago because I said I felt like I was the only one excited about the baby and we hadnt bought anything yet so he apoligised and came home the next day with a gr0-bag for the baby and then went back to normal! So again I spoke to him and explained it wasnt about material things I just wanted him to take an interest in the pregnancy and since then he has asked me every single day about 3 times a day how the baby is, has it moved much, how much have I eaten etc .
    I really hope you manage to work things out.
    xxxx
  • thanks for the advice ladies, i just get so frustrated and we are both hot heads which does not help at all as we both end up stompin off.
    il try those things and if all else fails hel be movin into the garden shed so that he is close enough to be about!lol. i just keep thinkin maybe its because he doesnt experience all the feelings and kicks and itl get better. this is only a recent thing which worries me that he no longer wants to be with me. xxx
  • I'm sure he does love you and want to be with you. I read a pregnancy book for dads and it explained about how towards the end things can get hard because your busy preparing for the birth and he doesnt know quite how to help you. He's probably scared and nervous about how he'll cope seeing you in agony, how he'll be as a daddy and also how hes going to have to take a back seat now. I really hope you manage to sort things out. I'm a hot head and so is my husband so I find the writing down thing really helps.
    xxx
  • im sure your right and im maybe been a bit selfish by not realising he is struggling but im not a mind reader! i think i might write everything that is bothering me and give it to him and then he digest at his leisure.(evil) lol.xxx
  • lol. I just find that when we're arguing (or "discussing" as he likes to call it!) about something I can never get my point across in the right way because he'll say something which will make me so angry it all goes out of my head and then he'll say "like when?" and I wont be able to think of any examples! At least with it all written down I can argue my point properly!
    I dont think your selfish at all, your the one carrying the baby!
    xxx
  • men - cant live with them, cant live without them. he uses the word 'discusssing'. its a damn argument, admit it.xxx
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