in tears.

well ladys my partner spoke about if we had a boy could we talk about changing the order of the names we had christopher mark paul christopher after my uncle my mum had her heart set on name but my partner wasnt sure im only 16weeks so dont know what im having could be a girl now my mum is upset that we are thinking about changing order of the name and having ago at me saying she ordered baby stuff with engraving over 200pound worth and that she lost 50quid deposit and that she upset cos her brother was called christopher who passed away and shes angry we thinking changing order im very upset she dont want know me and after all this could be a girl i feel she is being unreasonable any advice anyone x im in tears. x

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  • Hey hun, dont really know what to advise but didnt want to read and run. I think yr mum is been unreasonable, after all you are only 16weeks and dont even know the babys sex, so why order engraved stuff?? i am 29 weeks and me and hubby still keep changing names!! you have to go with yr heart on this one, u cant name him/her a certain name just to keep people happy.x
  • thanks ladies i told her i think shes being unreasonable and she took offence big time x congratulations on your baby mrsamanda x
  • im sorry but this might sound harsh but i think your is telling fibs, as why would you order engraved things at only 16wks? you may be having a little girl for all she knows. i think she might be saying that so you feel bad about wasting the money and dont actually change the name. youve got to remember that this your baby not your mums, and you and oh need to agree on the name not you, your oh and your mum. You might even decide when your lo arrives that the name doesnt suit him or her at all so change it again, so i wouldnt recommend buying engraved things untill your lo is here and has a name. really sorry if that sounds mean, i hope you get it sorted soon image

    Hannah 30+5 xxx
  • Hey have to say i agree she is being very unreasonable and if you don't mind me saying extremely insensitve too. I didn't know what i was having with my first two and when each of them were born we changed our minds as neither of them looked like they names we'd chosen - i'm now 13 wks with number 3 and know we'll do exactly the same. Its very presumptuous of your mum to assume you'll have a boy and also puts you under pressure. You need to speak to her and be honest about how you feel - after love and protection the name you give your child is one of the most special and important things you'll ever give them and it needs to be right for both you and your partner and with respect if its not your mums choice she will simply have to get over it! Do tell her how you feel and ask her how she would have felt if someone had been the same when she was thinking of names for her own children. Hope this helps and sorry for banging on but i feel very strongly about naming children and it being completely up to YOU! Having almost throttled my mother in-law over her attempts to interfere with the baby naming process.
    Jo xxxxxxxxxx
  • thank you all for your messages and i agree hannah i think she is telling porkys to make me feel guilty its made me really upset while pregnant i know she loved her brother and i love name christopher but your right may not look like christopher when born.jojo thanks i think she being insensitive to just felt bad thinking that way cos she done so much for me. i sent her text saying this mine and partners first baby and we deserve after 4 losses and fertility help and we just need time to ourselfs with what we decide she said well just call it miracle then i think thats being sarcastic image. x thanks for all posts x
  • i completely agree with the other girls - your mum is being wholly unreasonable. This is YOUR baby, and it is for you and your partner to decide on names. If she has actually ordered engraved items, then she is the only person to blame for that - ordering it without even knowing the sex? she must have more money than sense!!

    Hope you're okay Crystal xxx
  • hi hun - thats really sad what your mum is doing. she shouldnt put pressure on you that way. its you and your OH's decision not hers! If i were you I would just state that she has no business in choosing the name and its her own fault for ordering things before you even now what it is!! Sorry not too sympathetic to your mum but i think she is def being unreasonable! Cheer up huni. x x
  • hugs hun after everything you have been through i do think your mum is being unreasonable, its your baby and i really do think that she should be thinking of you and your well being instead of being all silly over a name! Dont feel bad she will get over it having babies seems to bring the worst out in families, when you meet your precious bundle boy or girl you will know what name to give and it will be perfect. Dont stress too much and try and enjoy the rest of your pg. Leigh xxx
  • that sounds very unreasonable and insensitive. and i think it's pretty harsh of her to cause you this much stress at this stage in pregnancy. it also sounds like she's emotionally blackmailing you by making you feel bad cos her brother died. it's not her choice - its yours and oh's and i think she should respect this. (sorry - not havin a go at your mum or anything.)
    i really hope she sees sense and realises shes being unreasonable.
    big hugs
    lau89 xxxxxxx
  • thank you so much for advice and lovely messages x i felt so bad about thinking this of my mum but hate the way she being x
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