Big argument - now bump hurts - advice needed!

Apologies - I'm having a bit of a panic. I've written before that I've been having a bit of trouble at work with a couple of people being nasty to me. I've just been in to see my bosses about it and was totally ambushed with unexpected issues raised and from angles I didn't expect! If I'd have known this was going to happen I would have taken someone in with me. I got very upset and very angry and then of course I was silently worrying about my temper hurting/damaging the baby. My bump hurts a bit now - spoken to DH and he said it was probably just because I was tense and had tensed the muscles. Do you think this is the case?

I'm really upset about the incident - there were pregnancy related issues raised which I thought were very unjustified and which conflicted. I am very angry at pretty much all of my work colleagues - they behaved very badly towards me when I came back from a period of sick leave which required hospital treatment. Now I feel they have done the same thing again with the pregnancy - a real slap in the face when you've spent the last ten years with these people and shared many a personal issues together. I don't have many people I can talk to about the pregnancy and this is going to lead to further isolation.

Sorry to post such a rant - I am just so upset by this. :cry: Can anyone advise on the bump issue? I've been upset a lot between weeks 8-12 (week 12 this week) and I'd be interested to know if other people had been in the same situation too. Huge thanks in advance, at least I know you girls are kind and lovely xxx

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  • 1st of all- where do u work ( sounds awful - i hope u get paid alot to put up with that )!!

    Second of all try not to get stressed out because the baby get stressed with you....... ive been in one argument where my belly hurt but i dont know if thats because i was so anxious.

    If you need ne one to chat to just send me a msg- i may not always have the best advice but its better than bein isolated image xx
  • 1st of all- where do u work ( sounds awful - i hope u get paid alot to put up with that )!!

    Second of all try not to get stressed out because the baby get stressed with you....... ive been in one argument where my belly hurt but i dont know if thats because i was so anxious.

    If you need ne one to chat to just send me a msg- i may not always have the best advice but its better than bein isolated image xx
  • Hi there I think that your oh was right in the fact that if you are getting tense then your bump will to! Don;t think its fair for them to mistreat you at work and if you are feeling bullied or discriminated (sp?) against then you should speak to your hr deapartment or get some advice from cab. With regards to having a rant on here at the end of the day we are all here to share the highs and lows of pregnancy and if it helps you to let off steam then go straight ahead, we are all hear for you!
    Tammi xxx
    http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev165pf___.png


  • Hun listen when your like you are all upset and worked up DONT AGREE to ANYTHING! it's not fair they caught you off guard - they should of prepared you for what to expect so that you had an opertunity to preapre what you wanted to say also...

    where do you work?

    what were some of the issues maybe some of the girls here can help with where you stand or help you prepare your answers? x
  • Hun listen when your like you are all upset and worked up DONT AGREE to ANYTHING! it's not fair they caught you off guard - they should of prepared you for what to expect so that you had an opertunity to preapre what you wanted to say also...

    where do you work?

    what were some of the issues maybe some of the girls here can help with where you stand or help you prepare your answers? x
  • Really sorry to hear that you had such a bad day. I'm sure everything is fine with the baby, like your oh said the bump could be aching just because you have felt so tense. Or else just 'growing pains' and just a coincidence that it started after the incident with your boss.
    About the work thing, once you have given yourself a bit of time and space to recover, you should make a list of the issues that arose during the discussion and put your point of view down, and then as tamarabell said, talk to cab or your hr department- someone that is not directly involved who can give you some objective advice. Is there anyone at work who you can trust who you can talk to about it?

    Hope things get better for you soon.
  • Thanks so much girls, you really are lovely and your replies are such a reassurance. It's just nice to hear from some friendly people when you're feeling down.

    I'm a bit nervous about posting specifics as another colleague got in trouble through posting about work issues on facebook. I'll probably delete this post later to be safe for this reason. >

    There were other things too but these were the main pregnancy related ones I can remember. Don't think I've got anything specific enough to pursue further but I'm just very upset that colleagues who I previously enjoyed working with have turned on me in this way.

    Thanks again for your reassuring replies x x x


    [Modified by: secretmama on April 09, 2008 09:10 PM]
  • hi secretmama,i went through the same sort of thing as you i think that for me alot of it was jelousy.I worked in a nursing home which oversly involved alot of lifting and physical work which my boss told me not to do as soon as i told her i was pg.we were always short staffed which ment the other staff had a even heavier work load.alot of them saw it as i was getting special treatment.I finally walked out when my boss told me that the other staff were complaining i wasnt doing enough physical work this conversation didnt even take place in a proper meeting.It really upset me that she thought she could talk to me like that .If you are part of a union i would sudgest you arange a meeting yourself and get a union rep to be there then bring up all the points you wernt happy about.I walked out of work when i was 3months and i regret it now i think i did it because i was going through a emotional time.dont let them win they are more than likely jelous, some people dont like it when someone else is getting attention not them,I hope it all gets better for you.
  • Dont know if it will help but your employeer is legally obliged to do a Risk Assessment!

    Sorry I cant be anymore help but I really feel for you! There are just a lot of horrible, vindictive people out there who see someone vulnerable and swoop in like vultures!!! It would serve them bloody right if you doc signed you off with stress - then they would see what they have to do without you and they have no legal comebacks!!!

    I hope this gets resolved for you honey, Love Lee xxxxxx
  • Hey, hope you're OK. It sounds like your workmates haven't behaved well at all and I think you have a right to be angry. I agree with whoever said they are just jealous!

    I had a temporary job for 3 weeks covering someone who was off sick so the other 2 women (one was the manager) who worked there could take some holidays. Anyway, the job involved a lot of heavy lifting, and the manager said oh we'll do all that but if I ever asked her I felt like I got raised eyebrows so I just did it myself...just before I finished the stupid cow said I wasn't coping and it was dangerous working there while I was pregnant! :roll:

    What does it matter to your colleagues if you have mentioned the pregnancy once or twice? No doubt you are happy, and if it isnt interfering with your work (which I doubt it ever would) then what is the problem???

    Re the time off, they can't complain if you let them know you were going to have time off, and have a doctors note, etc. It is awful that pregnant women at work feel that they have to do more, to make up for going on maternity leave etc, when pregnancy is very stressful on the body even when you aren't overdoing it.

    Some people eh.........

    http://bd.lilypie.com/IzQX0/.png




  • Secretmama, I'm sorry you had a bad day.
    Try not to stress as its not good for you and baby. I hope this will turn around soon babe. (sorry i couldnt be much help)
    xxx
  • Hi secretmama,

    Im actualy going though a bad patch myself at work, and have reported my manager to HR regarding their treatment towards me since being pg. They have advised me to speak to my union rep which I have done and she has told me to look at 'acas' web site for information as the treatment im receiving comes under the sexual discriminatin act. (don't hold me to that, but have a look under the maternity section aswell) what she also advise me to do is write everything that happens down so that the next time you have a meeting you have evidence to back you up.

    Hope this helps with your work issues. Cant help you with your bump sorry, could be that you've been a bit tense as your oh said. If you are still worried speak to your midwife, that's what shes there for.
  • babies do tend to pick up on stress so maybe that is why you are aching a bit??
    but i would suggest that you go round to your local citizen advice bureau and get some information on pregnancy rights
    i found mine to be very helpful when i was working and pg with my son, every time my boss gave me a hard time about taking time for antinatal classes or mw appointments i`d throw all these leaflets in his face and tell him i was gonna complain to our head office if he didnt pack it in.
    i wouldnt worry to much hunni, but just try (an i know its hard with hormones an stuff)to smile sweetly at them and not lose your temper when they are bugging you.
    take care
    jo xx
  • Many thanks for your further replies. It sounds like quite a few people are having problems at work! I was sorry to read about your situations - I can't believe in this day and age this is still a problem! I have decided to seek professional advice - from the midwife and GP, and also have a chat with my union just for an independent view. This will help me decide how to proceed - at the moment I suspect that I will go in and have as little personal contact with my colleagues as possible. They want me to make the first move with the people who were nasty to me but I don't know whether I am willing to do that as that makes it look as though I am at fault - but I'll see what the union say.

    I'm a little worried that people seem to be saying that stress does effect the baby - I'm 12 weeks, you don't think I'm still at risk from loosing the baby from an incident like this do you? This is my primary worry.

    Thanks again girls x x x
  • hi secretmama iv just read ur post and i think its absolutly discusting that uv been treated like u have. for goodness sake whatever happend to being understanding towards pg ladies let alone mature!! it sounds like u work with a bunch of babies that cant spk up for themselves if they have a problem - and r probably just jealous!!

    as for LO - babies are pretty resiliant so i should think he/she should be ok, but on sayin that u should take it easy even if its for ur own sake.

    hope u get this all sorted and keep us posted
    elaine xx
    31+1
  • i dont think that you would lose the baby by getting stressed out hun, i just meant that babies often pick up on stress levels, and this in turn can make them fidgety. please try not to worry too much, at the end of the day its a job and not worth risking your health over.
    xx
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