Sex & Love - Some help Girls!

I have just had a conversation with a friend about sex and love... and her viewing them as the same thing... She is not the first friend to say this to me...

For me I was with OH a full year before we 'did it' because for me I had to be sure he loved me! & it's the icing on the cake for our relationship - and we really enjoy a good sex life but of course at diffrent times your sex drives both change but were quite good at letting each other know lol - and of course it is a good way of confirming our love and brings us closer but sometimes we just want some and sometimes we just want to snuggle ;\) lol!

I was just wonder how other people felt about this - as I know that it is something that pregnancy affects - with fellas being put off by bumps, pregnant ladies loosing there sex drive or it going wild, self image, sexuality, is it okay to do 'it' when baby is in there will he/she know and respond, what motivations people have is it to show/confirm love, or do they think its the same thing, ect

I personally feel its a lovely extra that makes your relationship so much more pleasurable but if the foundations are unsteady - it makes it all very messy! So its good to know there is substance to your relationship rather than just animal attraction because that does wear off over time even if your OH still has the PWAHH factors!! image

what does everyone else think? image


  • Hi girls, well me and Pete were very different. We selpt together the first night that we met!!!!!!! But things went from strengh to strengh very quickly for us. He was living in Scotland and I was in Newcastle but we both committed to the relationship early on and did the 3 hour round trip to see each other as oftern as we could. I know some people may not agree with the way oour relationship started but we talked about living together after only 8 weeks and then finally moved in together at 6 months. (would have been sooner but I needed to get a new job) We have now been togther for 2 years and 3 months, and married for 6 months and like Zoey said sex was a big part of our relationship at first but over the last few weeks this has dwindled due to me being tired and havig spd but we are both still very loving towards each other and can't fault Pete on how supportive he has been. I personally think that having a good relationship and being able to talk outside the bedroom is just as important as the actually sex side of things. Think sometimes you know when you are with the right person and things just fall in to place as they did for us. And can honestly say I don't regret the way we got togther.
    Tammi xxxx
    27+1 weeks
  • Oh that sounds great and certainly wasn't making a comment on how quickly people sleep together - like you said its diffrent for every one! Our sex life has only really got better and better because were learning about each other all the time!

    I suspose I didnt really make it that clear about what i was asking about..

    which is do people see a diffrence between sex and love and if so how would you define it of course apart from the physical act? xx image
  • Hi it must be love, don't worry I didn't think that you were being judgemental. Think that there is a difference between love and sex in the fact that like we have all mentioned above that our partners are very supportive of the pregnancy and have shown they love us by taking the good with the bad and being respectful of our feelings and needs duirng this time. Which to me shows that they do love us all loads!
    Tammi xxx
    27+1 weeks
  • My oh an i have been together 5 yrs now and slept together after 3 days it was wonderful at first bt cracks have started to form now and if im honest have been for a while we only ended up expecting because of too much drink lol i do love him and i think he is the same as me yet we havent had sex since the day we conceved in july and that was just a one off we havnt really had a real sex life since before my first daughter was conceved in 2006 not saying he hasnt had a sex life (with other women) unfortunatley i do think there is a difference as i know he loves me and i love him yet he has had sex elsewhere and its only because i love him that i have forgiven him although if he ever did it again i would rip it off lol Sophie 33+5 xx

  • I don't think we waited that long, maybe 2 weeks tops, lol but I can't really remember!

    I don't know who these women are who have a high sex drive when they're pregnant (I think I'm just jealous though) as mine is completely out the window. We do still have sex though at least once or twice a week I would say...The problem is if you're a woman and don't have sex then your sex drive gets lower and lower. The more you do it (even if you're not really in the mood!) the more your body needs it, this is true! Well it's defo true for me anyway.

    I cant say my boyfriend has been put off in the slightest! In fact he wants sex all the bloody time!!! I do still enjoy it but it is uncomfortable with a bump and I dont feel all that sexy with stretchmarks etc. xxx
  • Sophie you are due the day after me btw! Im sorry to hear about ur oh, if I were you I certainly would rip it off - being pregnant gives you an excuse, lol.
  • Hi Tiger lily, would agree with you that my sex drive has just vanished! All I want at night is to curl up with a book or go to sleep, lol. Although we do still have a sex life its just not the one we had before becoming pregnant. Petes like your oh in the fact that nothing puts him off, bless hes even been trying it on in his sleep latley!!!
    Tammi xxx
    27+1 weeks
  • love that tammi trying it on in his sleep! :L

    Simon is REEEAAALLLYY affection and things just lead on from there...

    I suspose for me - I know he wants it cause he just pounces! lol and thats lovely! makes me feel i'm still attractive even tho i feel like a hefferlump lol

    & ways he shows he loves me is whn he text me after his left for work to tell me that he loves me millions (he leaves when its still dark it being winter!) or when he gives me that look to say 'thats my girl and i'm her man!'

    One think i'll say for being pregnant tho is our comunication skills have really improved lol cause sometimes i'm just to tired to you know what and we'll lay there chatting and giggling instead! xx
  • I knew I shouldn't have read this damn thread!

    We've been banned since 14 weeks and I am getting really hacked off with it all. Yes we can do other stuff, but sometimes you just need the full on (bloody hell this is really hard to say with no rude words!) works and we can't grrrr......

    As for differentiating between sex and love, I think men can do so a lot more than women, although there are women who are happy to have no strings sex as well.

    For myself and my dh though it is one and the same - a way of showing how much we love each other. Luckily (?!) my dh works permanent nights so we only sleep together once a week anyway so it makes the no sex ban easier to deal with (obviously we make an effort to go upstairs in the evening together normally but we tend not to bother at the mo!)

    I think we're really lucky because we truly feel like soul mates and are so deeply in love even after 7years that we can deal with what life throws at us - including no nookie for months on end!!!!

    I just want to point out however that I did kiss a lot of frogs to get to where I am now - we only met when I was 30 and he was 36 (I had 2 kids and he had 1 by previous!). Just thought I'd point that out before I got a smack in the mouth for bragging!
  • My hubby and I were friends briefly before anything happened. We went to a tacky night club at uni (as you do!) and made a deal that if we were having a rubbish time we'd go home together at midnight and get pizza! Well it was a rubbish night, we went back to get pizza (I was easily bribed with food!) and I stayed over in his room, nothing happened except just kissing and cuddling. It wasn't until a few days later we spoke about what happened and went out to the cinema together and that's when we became a 'couple'. I think it was a few weeks before we slept together. Everyone says we're made for each other and it feels like we are, although we do argue from time to time, mainly because I have an awful temper!!!
  • everyone argues... I think its nice if you have had bad rows and got over them to know that you can and that you love each other warts and all! x
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