Single?!


Anyone else goin through this without a partner?

it gets me a bit down how everyone talks about their other half and how excited their patners are and helpful and stuff! does that sound selfish of me? i don't even have a proper birthin partner really just who isn't working or busy at the time! i feel quite alone through all of this and end up cryin most days (i know this is coz i'm hormonal)

i sometimes think about goin back to my ex just so i don't have to do this alone but so mant people would be upset with me including myself. i know this sounds selfish but i'm just so lost. i don't know what i'm doin half the time and the other half i'm tryin to concentrate on something else!

i keep putting things off in a hope that it will somehow delay everything and i'll have more time to get my head around it! i've only got 49 days left so you would have thought i would have got used to the idea of being a single parent by now but i just keep thinking that i'm gonna fail, i'm not doin it right or just wont want it when its here i know it sounds bad and i guess i'm just being stupid.

please someone tell me i'm not alone
x

Posts

  • Hi babyboo, sorry your having a really rough time. It must so hard for you coping with this alone but not long till your flesh and blood arrives and you will have your own little family and im sure you will be a great mum.

    Denise
    xx
  • ur not alone hun, im single too image
    finaly called it a day with ex just before i found out i was pregers again.
    u will be fine hun and dont feel lonley there is always someone on here to chat to, im usually on most days.
    u will be a better happy single mummy than a miserable one in a duff relationship, i thought i wld never cope without him at 1st but i actually havnt felt this happy, confident and relaxed in years! guess i didnt realise how sad i was before image
    only 49 days left how exiting, i got ages to wait for this 1 as im not due til april
    do u know if ur having a blue or pink one?
    xx
  • hi there, i was alone with my first and know exactly how you are feeling, i remember feeling so alone and scared and i stayed on good terms with my ex for the sake of the baby altho we had a terrible relationship, and he treated me really badly. you will be fine on your own, its hard being preg on your own, and it is hard in the first few months with a new baby at night, believe me, but my wee girl is 3 now, and i just look at her and think "i did this myself" and she has turned out great and it was all me...just try to think that way. you will be fine, it will be hard, but youll cope.please do not worry what others think, or dont stress about the fact that youre on your own, one day, if its what you want, you will find a great guy who will accept your little one as his own...some people think its bad to be a single mother, for me it was great, i have very close relationship with my wee girl because it was always just me and her . please just try to think of the good points and im sure youll be fine, take care x
  • ur not alone hun, im single too image
    finaly called it a day with ex just before i found out i was pregers again.
    u will be fine hun and dont feel lonley there is always someone on here to chat to, im usually on most days.
    u will be a better happy single mummy than a miserable one in a duff relationship, i thought i wld never cope without him at 1st but i actually havnt felt this happy, confident and relaxed in years! guess i didnt realise how sad i was before image
    only 49 days left how exiting, i got ages to wait for this 1 as im not due til april
    do u know if ur having a blue or pink one?
    xx

    no i didn't find out. although i have a feeling it's gonna be a girl!
    what makes it even harer is that he wont except the fact that were not together and the reason being because he was never there and was never violent but was verbally abusive and always left me. he blames me for us not being a family - the one thing i wanted in the world for us - he never calls to ask how we are or how i' feeling just to tell me what trouble he's got himself into or how he's finally got a job. i just want to tell him i'm not interested anymore and if he wants a part in baby's life then he needs to sort himself out but he turns around and makes me feel bad. i just don't know what to do for the best

  • blokes can be really good at making everything our fault, like they cant possibly take responsibility for their actions.
    his behaviour is why ur not together so dont let him blame u hun, ur right though he needs to sort himself out and prepare for fatherhood and stp trying to get to u and make u feel bad.
    i would make it very clear to him if ur not interested in him anymore as men sometimes need it spelling out, i tried and tried with my ex and forgave a lot of his behaviour for the sake of a "happy family" but it never worked and it took a few wks for me to tell myself it was over for the best, sadly im not sure my ex has quite got the message yet but ill keep drumming it in,lol
    u need to think about u and ur baby hun, and try not to let him stress u out, xxx
  • I wasn't single when pregnant but my ex left me when my baby was 12 weeks old- it was daunting being left all alone with this tiny baby but as someone else said you get such a sense of pride when ther older and u know its all been your hard work.

    It will be difficult for the first few months with lack of sleep but in your position I just slept during the day while the baby was having a nap- sod the housework etc coz it will certainly wait for you!!

    As for you saying he was verbally abusive-wud you really want a child to see you being treated like that- even at a very young age they sense things. Look that all happened me 6 years ago and I now have a brill hubby, another child and one on the way. My ex on the other hand is still floating around in the same sad life he always was- in and out of jobs, drinking, partying and just being a lad. That tells me a lot- he still after all this time hasn't grown up and I bet in a few years you will look at ur ex in the same way.

    My ex hasn't seen the child for 3 1/2 years- thru his own choice and he hasn't paid a penny- but its he whos missing out. I don't want his money and I certainly don't feel my son is missing out with him not being there.

    Good luck and I know it is terribly lonely at times but please do not take hime back just to have someone- you are better than that and so is your child.

    Take care xx
  • i know its for the best in the long run and i know i just need to tell him straight and make myself clear but it's so hard. i've tried not contacting him and it took him 2 weeks to ring me and then he made me feel bad becuase i hadn't rung! everything is just so difficult with him and he's making it hard to decide what i actually want and what i think is best with him keep messing me about.
    he rang me earlier on and said that i should get a flat or a house and he'd move up here (he lives 2 hours away) even though he told me weeks ago that he would never do that, but i don't want that. i don't even believe half the things he tells me anymore he's lied so much about all kinds of stuff. i wont tell you all what coz it'll just make me look gullible and stupid but i know he has but even when i've confronted him about these things he just denies it and turns it around on me again!
    he's so irresponsible and immature nothings ever his fault and he wont sit down and talk about things unless he wants to.
    but i'm the kind of person who even if i don't want to do something or dissagree i'll go along with it just to keep the peace and its driving me mad.
  • U aren't gulliable- just in a vunerable position- and he knows that. Please try not to let him mess with your head like that coz u will just end up getting even more hurt.

    I don't want to sound cliche or granny but time is a great healer, and through time you will see him in a whole new light-trust me. I look at my ex now and I think waht on earth was I thinking bout
  • it is really hard hun,but that horrible feeling u have when u finally make the break dosnt last forever even though it feels like it at the time, and bringing up lo on ur own aint easy, but wld it be any easier with a bloke that dont keep his word ect?
    this will be my 4th babe and as hard and knackering as it does get its also got many plus points, and im happy to take all the credit,lol
    as kthom122 says he misses out not u. xx
  • Hi there, i have just read all the comments and i agree with everyone, think of the pride you will have knowing you brought up you child on your own. my sisters bloke left her when she was 6months pregnant, he was violent, so we (family) are obviously glad that it has ended, do you have anyone you are close too, mum, sister, friend that you can talk to? no matter what time you can always come on here and chat, where are you from? is there any parent groups in your area you could maybe join if you need someone to talk to, maybe ask your midwife. just wanted to let you know you are not alone, and thinking about you xx
  • Hi babyboo - I''m single, I'm 29 and my partner left me after 5 years the day after we found out we were pregnant although we had been trying for a baby for over a year - he decided it wasn't what he wanted.

    So your not alone I am single too.. and it is hard and lonely however I am focussing on work and getting the house ready for the baby just trying to get through it all.

    You will be fine - and like the girls said you can do this on your own. Its just going to be hard - if you ever need someone to talk to who is in the same boat by all means drop me a line [email protected]

    Take care keep smiling and try to enjoy your pregnancy

    Allison xx
  • thanks to everyone who replied to this post sorry i've not been on for a while so thats why its a bit late!

    i'm feeling much better about being single now! i know i've got everyone around me helping (apart from my dad who wont get off his arse and clear the room so i can start decorating lol) i've been given some stuff to help me get started and my mum has helped me buy loads of things and help with my income support (which they've messed up again!)

    i'm really exited now as i've only got 5 weeks to go! feeling rather large and finding it difficult to even put on my socks lol!

    Thank you again and i hope your all well

  • Hi babyboo, I am nearly 15 weeks pregnant and yup it looks like I'm gonna be a single mummy too image I'm pretty sad now as we're just in limbo atm, he wants to be with me but doesn't want a baby. But I would rather my baby had no daddy than one who doesn't want to be there, so I'm tryin to look on the bright side see if he comes round.

    Hey u sound rly excited and I'm sure everything will be great, like the others have said it's better bringin a baby up on ur own then in a bad relationship that will affect the child. I don't care what anyone says about single mums, it's an incredible acheivement to bring ur lo up by yourself!!

    I bet your lo will be soooo well-loved, good luck for the birth and everythin! Keep smiling (I'm trying...) xxxxxxxxx
  • hey tiger lily, i think thats the best way of looking at when you said
    "But I would rather my baby had no daddy than one who doesn't want to be there, so I'm tryin to look on the bright side see if he comes round"
    i'm not in the exactc same situation as he wants to be apart of baby's life but i don't want him to, he's irresponsible, a compulsive liar and childish.
    i'm sure you'll be fantatsic at bringin up your lo you sound head strong and if he doesn't want to be apart of your babies life then he's the one who's missing out.

Sign In or Register to comment.

Featured Discussions