People buying gifts

I am wondering what others have done/plan to do when their LO arrives. I know it's presumptuous to expect gifts, but people will buy!!

We don't need newborn clothing as we are being given seconds. But we could do with financial help towards car seat/pram or bigger sized clothing. I wanted (once I'm 12 weeks) to make up little announcement cards to send out to friends and relatives to let people know were expecting, but also to mention that we would rather people didnt buy us mountains of newborn clothing. And that we would appreciate gift cards from Boots, Mothercare or cash that we can put towards baby fund/equipment....

Am I being rude in doing this? OH thinks so although to me it's only like when we got married last year and sent out gift cards with our invites, but then how do we cope with mountains of white terry sleepsuits that we dont need?


  • You could make a baby list - like a wedding gift list. Mothercare (i think) have wish lists and you could send this out to people. Might aswell set it up like this at the start than be given loads of stuff you won't use......
    Have a look at the Mothercare website to see how it all works....
  • I don't think it's rude to ask people not to buy you presents! As long as you word it carefully I shouldn't think anyone would take offence. You are right that everybody you have ever met will send stuff and there is no point having stuff you don't need.
  • As Trackieann said above, you should send out a baby gift list. We've set up one with Mothercare so we can get what we want, rather than ending up with all the same stuff.

    John Lewis and i think other department/baby stores do the same thing too.
  • sorry with you oh on this one! The reason people buy baby clothes and gifts is because everybody loves shopping for baby stuff so its there pleasure, maybee if you just ask parents for gift cards/vouchers. If you do recive clothes you can always take them back to the shop and swap for the bigger size.
    When I was in hospital after having my first it cheered me up loads when people came to visit baring gifts.

  • I have to agree with emmab1 and your oh on this one, people love to buy baby things and its part of the joy for them.
    I would set up one of these gift list things and if people ask you what you would like for a gift, give them the wish list number but otherwise let people get you what they want to. Most companies let you exchange clothing and things, and if peope get you tons from say asda/tesco/marks you can exchange them for packs of nappies. or next would do you a gift card to use when babies older and you want bigger clothes.
  • Im with your oh on this. People love buying tiny cutie baby clothes rather than give money. It does seem a little cheeky to say im pregnant now give me money. Why not hold a baby shower and set up a gift list for that or send out the baby shower invitations with the little cards in. I think that seems a nicer way to do it.
  • I agree that part of the joy of gifts is in the giving as much as the receiving and giftlists can take some of that joy away. As others have said get your mums or other family members to spread the word that you don't need newborn clothes. If you get the odd thing yiu can always take it back and swap it for teh next size up - there's not usually any difference between the newborn price and the next couple of sizes.
  • You're in the same position as us...we're expecting a girl and have got a 2 year old girl. My friends have given really good quality seconds so we've everything we possibly need.

    Trying to tell a friends and relatives in a non-rude way that we don't need any clothes/toys etc etc until babe is at least 1 year old!! So hopefully they'll take the hint and give us the money they would have spent on baby clothes!! Fingers crossed anyway cuz we havn't the space for anymore baby clothes!!!!!

  • to be honest, regardless of who agrees with who, nobody will listen to you anyway even if you did set up a gift list.

    we told everyone we didnt want ANY gifts whatsoever, none at all as we already had everything we needed, and still they turned up in their drones.

    they even brought tiny clothes AFTER they were told ollie was a big baby. (and the problem there is we live in the middle of arse end so dont have the shops available to exchange!)

    take it in your stride, if gifts do come then say thank you and go swap them. if people ask, tell them what you want or ask for money - but be prepared for your house to belong to everybody elses presents!

    (since then people have started asking what we want for ollie, as theyve realised that i dont need 400000 little blue outfits in one size....)

    were having his christening/1st brithday party soon and have not said anything about presents, but my dad and the MIL know that we dont want anything! just money for his trust fund. its one rule for all too, so he will only get a present from me and my oh and nothing else. He's far too young to even notice and all he's interested in is boxes and wrapping paper at the mo anyway, and will be too busy meeting people in between feeds and naps.
    mil and my dad are paying for the cake and balloons so thats effectively their present.

    good luck with what you decide, and plenty of patience for those who might not listen to you image

  • I think I agree with your other half on this too. I'm not the sort of person who takes offence easily or thinks there's a "proper" way of doing things but I think I'd find it a little cheeky if I got a card from an expectant friend saying "we'd rather receive vouchers/money than clothes".

    I agree with what the others have said too in that people like to give actual gifts that they've chosen themselves, and that it's different with a wedding gift list as you're actually inviting people to an event. I know it'll be a bit of a shame if you end up with 40 teeny sleepsuits that won't be worn, but it's the thought that counts and you can always donate anything you can't use to a hospital special care unit or to charity.

    Hope you don't mind me saying this but thought it was best to be honest so you can try to gauge peoples' attitudes.
  • I really love getting the little sleepsuits as presents...everyone has been buying us clothes! I agree with your OH I guess, people like shopping for little clothes, and if you don't use them you might use them for no. 2 or give them to someone else who is pregnant.

    I think it might be a little rude to ask for vouchers rather than clothes, bits etc off everyone, but you may well find that your parents, grandparents, siblings etc actually ask you what you want. But I would let friends and others buy their own stuff xxx

  • Heya, you could always ask a friend to have a baby shower for you. I know it is very american, but lots of people do it. Then you could give a gift list with the invitations. I think that I'd agree with your oh, coz I'd be quite disappointed if a friend was pg and she told me she wanted money not a gift, coz it is great going shopping for tiny little things lol. Hope you get everythnig sorted and dont end up with too many things that you cant use xxxx
  • I can totally see your point of view on this Mrs T, it's only DH's family who are likely to buy for us so we won't get mountains of the same thing and therefore not something I need to think/worry about. But if you have a big family and lots of friends it could be a nightmare! I think the babyshower idea is good, or the gift lists, or taking the clothes back to swap for bigger ones. I wonder whether the word of mouth method might be better than writing it down and risk offending anyone. It's amazing how many different views there are on this topic.
  • Ooooh lots of replies :lol: Thanks ladies xxx

    Think I'll follow suggestions and get our mothers on the case then :\) I didn't really think about it being offensive just a good way to let everyone know. But I do agree it is exciting shopping for a new baby. Clothes are fine so long as we can swap them for the next few sizes up and we get receipts

    Thanks girls :\) x
  • I would probably think a list was a bit presumptious but have been quite open with family and close friends in saying we're all sorted for new born clothes and suggested if they see anything they like to get it in bigger sizes. That said my mum works in a charity shop and keeps bringing home all sorts. I dont mind taking seconds if they're in as new condition but my oh really doesn't like it so we've tried to tactfully put her off but she keeps on doing it. Even I'm getting a bit fed up with it now which sounds really ungrateful but she brings home all sorts of tat that they wouldnt sell in the shop. I'm just smiling politely now then taking it to the local clothes recycling bin!
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