Family telling you they want the names you like....

Hiya Girls,

Like some of you know I was convinced I was having a girl... we found out on friday were having a boy lol really doesnt matter either way were both over the moon!

We are set on our girls name which would have been Olivia Katelyn however slightly undecided on boys names..

OH likes Charlie and Alfie and I like Thomas... OH sister had said before we went for the scan she would have called a boy Thomas and really wanted it (it's my dad's names and her OH dad's names)...

Upon finding out were were having a boy and telling people she phoned my OH who is her younger brother and refered to our little boy as Charlie (about a million times) clearly because she wants Thomas - she has two little girls and really had problems getting them (7 MC's before them) and she is lovely i'm close with his family too luckily!

Also has a text of his niece whom told me not to use Alife as she wants it if she has a boy - she has just had a little girl!

But I cant help think I'm am pregnant with this boy now they may never have more or boys or what ever surely I am intitled to call my child what I like even if I like names they would have liked should they had a boy first - I didnt pick them because they had them in mind they are pretty common and its our choice.

felt slightly annoyed - and made a joke that she was only refering to bump as Charlie as she wanted Thomas for her self but that we hadn't decided as of yet!

What do people think am I being a little sensitive or with in my rights to feel like this? x :lol:


  • You call your baby whatever you want to. It is ultimately your choice. When I tell people I am calling my son Michael they just go "oh, Why Michael?" I think it is nice and not unusual. My other children are Sam and Charlie so it goes well with them.
  • Hi there think you are well with in your rights to feel the way you do. At the end of the day this is your baby and you should be able to name him what ever you want. Try not to worry about what other people want!
    Tammi 24+2
  • lol in the same way I dont want anyone else to use Olivia Katelyn but if they did I think i would have it anyways!? x
  • Hi

    Just popping in from the ttc forum with a quick story! About 8 years ago my (horrid) ex and I were talking about kids and if we ever had them, what we'd call them. Our best friends said 'you can't have Tom / Thomas because we want that'. In the end, they had two girls and aren't able to have any more kids and we split up - result, no Tom / Thomas'! The moral of the story, call your kids what you want because you can guarentee if you don't, your niece and OH's sister will only ever have girls and you'll be sad you missed out on a name you liked!

  • This is such a hard one! I'm probably in a lucky position that I only have one remaining brother-in-law and his wife left to have kids (the others are all done now!) They had said ages ago that if they had a girl they would want to call her Emily and although I would have considered this I would not want to take it from her. This sounds stupid because they are not even trying so it seems weird to avoid a name for such a hypothetical situation. But I'm happy to avoid it.

    Turns out we're having a boy so I don't have any problems! But I was discussing baby names with friends and I said we were thinking of Harry for a boy. One person said that another of our close friends (who is pregnant now too) is thinking of that and she said it in such a way that it may be a problem... She's due before me so it sounded like if she chose that name then we wouldn't be allowed to. Now that to me is a step too far!

    It is your choice but at the same time if it can cause friction then it may change how you feel about the name... But if you decide on Thomas then she'll just have to get used to it! And even if she did have another child and it was a boy she may have changed her mind by then. It shouldn't ruin a relationship and if it does then there must have been problems in the first place.
  • Funnily enough we have this exact problem, i am due a boy in 8 weeks & we decided on Thomas, but friends of mine said we couldnt ahve that as they wanted it if they had a boy - IF ??? We didnt change anyway in the end & have stuck with it - my cousin has a son called thomas so does my friend & another friend - does it actually matter ?!?? so you call your baby whatever you like as i will be too - its good that the name is so popular shows its nice !!
  • Hi, I am getting a few behind my back comments about calling my son Harry Thomas, after both my grandfathers, and my dad has Thomas in his name. My brother who I get on really well with wants Thomas for his son as his middle name is Timothy, and wants a name starting with T in it for him. The fact that my lovely sister in law is waiting to see how I cope before having a child. ????????????
    good luckx
  • I like the comment about 'if'!

    there are plently of Thomas, Charlie's, Alfie's, Olivia's and Katelyn's around none of us made any of those names up! And the simple fact of the matter is were having this boy first - i dont remember being consulted when they chose there childrens other names as to if i might of like them had i ever got pregnant! think im going to take that line.. xx
  • Go for it!!!!
    Its your choice what you want to call your son who most definately is NOT AN IF!!!!

    From someone who is calling her son (due in June) Thomas Michael James!!!! (and bugger anyone else - she says with hormones having a wild power serge)
  • hi i absolutely agree, you should call your baby whatever you want, and shouldnt have to avoid names that others like for IF they get pregnant or IF they have a boy.

    we decided on Fraser a while ago (we know its a boy too), and there have been two people we know who have just had babies in the last couple weeks, and one is due around same week as me.

    we spend ages hoping and praying that no-one would choose Fraser (we been keeping name choice secret), because to me, at that time it was a great name and i dont know that id give baby that name if someone else had just called their newborn the same name (kind of would spoil it for me), and we absolutely loved it, had been referring to bump as Fraser too! and in our eyes they had their baby first so had the rights to that name more than us (first come first served kind of thing).

    anyway the two newborn boys have different names, and the one due in the same week as me is having a girl.

    the point of the story of this is..we now dont want Fraser anyway and prefer Ethan, and for the next wee while thats what we like, and this might change again i suppose. But even if someone else called their child Ethan(or whatever we end up liking) i would still call our baby it regardless. Our Ethan will be a different child from their Ethan and in any case there will prob be 5+ of them in nursery school or wherever! its a popular name.

    just name you rchild whatever you want, but keep your choices to yourlsef until the baby is born, that way it wont seem like such a difficult situation.. just go here is my baby, his name is ........ they cant do anything about trying to change your mind then x;19;29/st/20080523/dt/5/k/1ec5/preg.png

    [Modified by: lauragcam on February 25, 2008 02:02 PM]

  • You're not being over sensitive at all! If these people aren't even pg and want to 'bagsy' a name they're being insensitive and selfish!
    My boys are called Charlie and Alfie and third would've been Harry Thomas if she hadn't been a girl lol. Top names - choose what YOU want, he's your son, not somebody's dream.
  • I think the moral of this story is to keep the names you like to your self and not tell anyone! It's tottaly beyond me how any one can think that they have the right to 'save' names for their children. If your lo is born first then you have the right to call him whatever you want, if your friends and relatives have boys later then they will have to decide on names then and if youv'e used the best ones tough!
  • Yeah I love this girls thanks!! cause my other half prob wont want to upset his sister - but I do think we have the right to decide ourselves without others making comments to take the shine of all the excitement. we have tried for this baby for two and a half years and I will give him the name we like best - very good points above particularly about not being able to bagsey names and about the child being real and here now and in need of a name shortly...

    I think we'll decide to ourselves and introduce when were ready - if its said again i might just snap back that were werent consulted when they choose, this is our child and is valuable and we waited along time and we might not be blessed with having more even though even though we want them and that they may like those names for boys but unlike us there is no garentee that will happen we know were having a boy.. sorry ranting now just felt upset that people just cant be happy and say thats a lovely name and we would have used it if we had boys instead of girls.. xx
  • I think you've definately gotta go with what you & OH like and listen to no-one else!! My mum will talk about other people's children quickly followed by "i like/dislike that name"...we won't be influenced by other peoples remarks/suggestions, so we're keeping our fave names strictly to ourselves!
    I am surprised the MIL hasn't stuck her oar in waiting for it though!
    Sarah xx
  • Best not to tell anyone what names you are thinking! We couldnt decided on a name for our little girl...when I told my mum we were 'trying' Georgia it was obvious she didnt 'approve'! George is my sons middle name and she felt we were over using it and that it wasnt a pretty name (ie too masculine).
    This put me off as although it was our choice you do want people to like it! So after a lot of deliberation we decided to 'try' Amelia - but in the end went back to i knew that i would be cross if i regretted not going with original choice! She coming up to 5 weeks old and we havent registered name yet (doing it wed) could still change my mind!!!!!!!!!!:lol:
  • What a f*****g cheek! No one has ne right to tell you what you can and can't call your child!! It is you and your oh's choice! Don't tell them until he is born what you have chosen as a name. They are hardly going to start telling you what you can and can't do once he's actually born and been named. Good luck hun!! x x x
  • Thanks girls! x
  • Hi!
    I definitely think that the way you should look at it is it's your baby & your choice of names no one elses!
    It's really difficult to choose a name 7 once you've got one you like & you think you'll be happy hearing for the rest of your life then don't blooming well let anyone else tell you otherwise.

    I haven't really been thinking of names as I don't know (and didn't want to know) babys sex so it'll be something else to think about when the LO arrives but at least i've 42 days to decide!

    Lauren xx

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