Really upset about scan

Hi girlies
Well I had my 20 week scan this morning, something I was really excited about because I so wanted to see the baby, but it was absolutley terrible. The Dr scanning me was really abrupt and very cold if I asked a question and I had no idea what part of the baby was what! Because my first child was born with a rare and life threatning heart condition, this baby naturally has to be checked for it and thank goodness all is looking good this time but I thought that because I was having a normal 20 week scan at the same time as the cardiac scan I thought she would talk me through what was what but she didnt, she looked at the heart and then the baby without explaining a thing so I was just left to guess what was what, and when you dont even know what your looking at its hard! Plus, as soon as I got in I asked if I could have a picture for my husband (he couldnt make this one) so she knew I wanted a picture but she just took the last shot and gave me that and I dont have a clue what it is! I saw different parts of the baby, like its fingers and legs, but she didnt zoom out and give me a picture of the whole baby so to be honest, I feel like I have random parts of baby floating around disconnected inside me! I feel so disappointed about the whole experience and really uspet that i didnt see my baby, Anyone else had this and if so what did you do? Can you get another scan?


  • That sounds horrible imnnot quite sure wat to suggest. If i was u i wud put in a complaint about the way u were treated, however im not sure if u will get another scan on the NHS especially if they did all the checks they needed to at this one. I was quite lucky because at my 20wk scan baby was been quite naughty so i had to go back 2wks later so they cud get all the measurements. Really sorry for ur experience, i know it shudnt come to this but have u thought about a private scan. From wat iv heard they treat u alot better and talk u through each bit, i know they can be expensive tho. Try not to be to disheartened and think about that lovely bundle growing inside u. Kerry xxx

  • hi
    i know it must be so dissapointing for you but my 20 wk scan was a bit of a let down compared to the 12 wk one. Although it wasn't anything like what you had they weren't really able to zoom out and show us the whole baby like they did at the first one.

    i don't know about getting another scan? i guess they'd probably say that the sonographer was checked everything that they needed to. We were told that my placenta was low and so i have to have another scan at around 34 wks, it doesn't sound like anything like this was said to you but maybe it's worth asking your midwife if there is any chance that you might get another one.

    it's such a shame though when you build yourself up to something.. I don't know if i've been any help or jst waffled on a bit but didn't want you to think that no one had taken any notice
  • Oh I feel really bad for you - that sounds terrible! Especially given it was presumably a nerve-wracking experience anyway given your your firstborn has health problems. They should have been trying extra hard to reassure you. And the photo too - I can't believe that. I suppose this could be good in a way because if you do complain, that could form part of your evidence. I would think that is the best bet, or if you don't want to go down that route and can afford it, think about getting a 4d one done (not sure how much these are). I hope you manage to have another look at your baby - let us know how you get on. (((big hugs))) x
  • Heya, that sounds really horrible and I am sorry you had a bad experience. Especially since you must already have been worried. I cant really suggest anything, just wanted to show that I care, hope you feel better soon xxxxxxx
  • Aaarrgh I just typed a really long reply and then accidently closed explorer before I sent it!!!!! Soooo annoying!

    Anyway I've lost the will to retype it all and give the full story but esentially I've had the same experience. My sonographer at my first scan was horrid. She was abrupt and miserable and excluded me and hubby from whole process. This is my first ever pregnancy and so my first ever scan and we were so excited and she just tried to make us feel stupid. (but she didn't succeed) however she did manage to ruin the whole experience for us. baby was too small to get a good pic but I knew I'd be getting another chance at the 20 week scan and also I was going for a private NT scan at 12 weeks. When she gave me the dates I wanted to discuss them because I knew the date she gave me couldn't be right because I knew when we'd last had sex but she just wasn't prepared to discuss at all.

    Then I went for my private scan which was a real pleasure. the consultant was really helpful, explianed absolutely everything and looked so happy throughout you'd have thought he was the father!! He gave me some great pics and he actually said - "let's get some good pics while baby is this position". A real joy!

    Then came my 20 week scan and to our horror we had the same sonograpger and she was a complete misery again. She started to scan me and hadn't asked if we wanted to know the sex and so I had to interupt and tell her we didn't so that she could tell me to look away if I needed to. Then she carried on in silence so I interupted her again to tell her that I wanted her to explain what she was seeing and doing at each stage. She looked so miffed to be asked but did it anyway although she did keep saying "that's his ..." and "that's his .." I'm sure she was doing it on purpose. I can't belive she hasn't developed a neutral way of explaining (or maybe I can since she obviously never does it!). Just like with you she gave me a crap picture taken at the end and you wouldn't even know it was a baby! If it weren't for my bupa scan I wouldn't have a decent photo!

    As it happens I have to go for another scan at 34 weerks because of low-lying placenta but I am going to speak to my midwife on Thursday when I have my next antenatal to complain informally and ask if she can make sure I don't have the same sonographer next time because she was just so rude to us.

    I'm convinced she disliked me because she usually just gets on with it and people are too taken aback and emotional to say anything to her (I was the first time but was prepared the second). Also because when I first saw her she knew from my notes I was going for a private scan and she also has a clinic doing private scans and told me about it but I said I wasn't interested because I was going to Bristol for it. When I've had the baby I'm going to write to the NHS Trust for my area and complain that she is advertising her clinic in the waiting area but they don't advertise any others which is essentially recomending or endorsing her but no-o else.

    I'll let you know what my MW says on Thursday

    (oops I managed to type a long one after all!!!)

  • Hi thanks for all your kind words girlies, I feel like I'm being really irrational and stupid but I was so excited about it and was really looking forward to seeing the baby. Obviously, I've been ever so worried about this baby having the same heart condition and I'm so so happy it all looks good, but after she said that she then said but I cant gurantee (sp?!) anything and it could well still have a heart condition! I know they have to cover themselves but I was looking forward to being able to put my mind at rest and relaxing, but now I'm just as worried. Do you think I should complain? I dont know if its just me whining or I have a genuine reason to be upset.
  • I think you should contact PALS in the first instance!

    They usually deal with complaints I think and see if things can be sorted before they escalate further!!!
  • Sorry you had such a horrible experience, only thing I can say is that I was told at the 20 wk scan of my lo that the baby is too big to actually get a picture of the whole baby in one go, so the picture you get is usually of the head and top of the torso x
  • At both of our scans the doctor basically just got on with it and didnt say anything unless we asked. But they were perfectly pleasant. I think its also standard that you have to ask to know the sex cos thats not something they otherwise check for.
    But there is no excuse for them to be rude. Unfortunately the only way to have sorted it out and get a nice picture would have been to complain at the time and refuse to pay for the photo until she got you a good one. I guess its a bit late now so all you can really do it make a complaint against her and hope that it helps her future patients.
  • I talked it through with my hubby, he was really disappointed in the picture and we decided to not make a formal complaint, but to write a letter to the hospital explaining how upset I was, I dont want to make a formal complaint right away because it could just be me being over sensitive, so we'll just see what the hospital say. In the mean time, my hubby has agreed to book a 4d scan! Its something it was dead against doing when we first found out I was pregnant because he said it was a waste of money and we'll see what it looks like when its born, but when he saw how upset I was after today he said he thinks we should have a 4d scan. Has anyone else had one?
  • If your putting it down in writing Carly then it's a formal complaint. Personally I wouldn't complain, not everyone gets a good picture due to lots of reasons. Your main concern was your babies health and as you've said everything is fine, I think I'd be quite happy leaving at that
  • It wasnt just the picture, it was the lady doing the scanning, she was really cold and didnt seem to give a toss if I knew what was going on or not! Of course I'm absolutley over the moon that this baby is looking ok so far. I think to be honest I'm just tried and over emotional maybe! That women see's 100's of pregnant women every day, maybe she was just having an off day. All that matters is the babies health and we're going to have a 4d scan now anyway. I'm going to sleep on it and see how I feel in the morning.
  • But if we all complained just because of the way someone spoke to us/or didn't then its no wonder the NHS is in the state it's in re-booking scans. I'm not trying to pour cold water on your worries Carly because it's obviously upset you, but I'd also be worried that if I was re-booked in for a scan because I wasn't happy with the first, I might be stopping someone who really did need it from having it.

  • love have you got a personal email? I wrote a letter of complaint about my scan! and got half hour with a consultant and loads of photos because i complained about a scan i recieved! you can use my letter as a template if you want? you don't loose anything by asking for another! and it was the best thing we did i can away knowing my baby was lovely big healthy not presenting abnormalities and had a big willy lol! xx
  • I disagree MrsT - I understand what your saying but the odd rebooked scan shouldn't make much difference and if its a common thing then they seriously need to address their standards of service. If we all keep quiet then they will continue to deliver poor service.
  • Hey Carly, hope you're feeling a bit better today. (I've emailed you)
    It can't do any harm to send a letter to the hospital explaining how you're feeling. But I also see what Mrs T is saying. You're lucky enough to be given a 20 wk scan, I don't get one where I live. And I suppose so long as everything was OK with the baby, after all it is an anomoly scan, then the hospital have done their job. Although a little bedside manner wouldn't go a miss! Like everyone else says, you get the special treatment with a private scan, just goes to show you get what you pay for..... S x
  • you have mail hunny! email again if you need a little help changing it! x
  • Thanks so much, its a huge help.
  • have you sent it? x
  • aww hun when i m.c this year in jan i went to hospital they wudent let bf in with me plus wudent let me av a pik to remember my lil baby. so nhs needs to get its self sorted cos us lot pay tax n stuff and 4 what?

    sorry to rant n rave but she shud of explined to u and gave u a better pik. u shud ask for another pik i mean i live in luton n scan piks are 5pound each and u dnt wanna pay and get a pik of sumit thats blury, xxxxx
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