Invited to a Wedding 3 Weeks After my Due Date...

... am I mad to be considering going?!

Basically it is a good friend and colleague of mine and both my husband and I are friends with her and her fiance. Their wedding is on 30 May in Devon and my official due date is 11 May (although I make it 6 May) and I live in London.

I would really like to go but don't want to make foolish promises. Some friends of mine went to a wedding only 4 days after the birth of their first baby, although a. he was an usher, b. they could drive home that night (still an hours drive though). They said it was fine, they didn't stay for the meal though and they said the only thing that put them off was the amount of attention they got, which they found a bit overwhelming.

I'm thinking of saying yes, but with the caveat that we may not be able to make it.

We can get the train which will only be about 2 hours or just over and I'm hoping the youngest our baby will be by then is 2 weeks. Any thoughts??!!! (I think I know what's coming - "you're crazy"!! :lol: )

Posts

  • My close friend was due 2 weeks after my wedding and said all being well she would come but couldn't pormise, I kept her on my seating plan etc as I would rather have had her there than just given the place to someone else.
    As it happens, she went into labour 5 weeks early and brought her 10 day old daughter with her.
    They only stayed for the ceremony and the meal and then left, the baby slept through all of it!!
    I would say go for it, you might be grateful for the break.
    Could you not stay over to make things easier for yourself?
    Good luck whatever you decide!
  • I am in a similar situation, My LO is due on 13th April (but I bet I am late, and have to be induced!) and we have been invited to a wedding on 16th May. We have said that all being well, we will be there - but we will leave early.

    I am looking forward to it, I know everyone will be all over the baby (which I will probably hate at the time) but I am just looking forward to showing her off!

    I'd say go if you want to, but use the baby as a handy excuse if you don't. image

    Nx
  • My hubby and I agreed to organise band for a friend's wedding reception before we even knew we were expecting! In the end the wedding was just over 2 weeks after son was born by c-section. It was a bit stressful and thankfully not too far away but we really didn't want to miss our friend's wedding and we had agreed to help them. In the end it was a lovely day. We enjoyed the wedding and played for about 2 hours at the reception while friends looked after son - I fed him in between sets!
    If it was me I would go but allow plenty of time for travelling and perhaps stay overnight somewhere. It would be a nice break for you all too. I'm sure they would understand if you couldn't make it at the last minute and it is better to say yes and pull out that no and regret it.
    At the end of the day life goes on whether you have a baby or not - you won;t know until nearer the time how you feel so i would keep my options open. As lulu said the baby will probably sleep through most of it anyway.
    Good luck!
    Anna
  • If you want to go, then go for it! Baby will sleep for the most part, and if you want to leave early you have the baby as a perfect excuse!
    I'm also in a similar situation. I'm due 8th Aug and Hubby's best friend is getting married on the 2nd Aug. He was our best man and he is also our son's Godfather and I would really love to go. Hubby really needs to be there as he is an usher. I will either be the size the of a house, ready to drop any minute or have an extremely newborn baby! What to do? xxx

    Cat 14+2
  • We're in a similar position too! My friend from work gets married 1-week after my due date and we've been invited to the evening reception which is around 20-30-mins away from home.

    If Angus has come by then, we won't go as it's a no children wedding... if Angus hasn't come, we would love to drop in and see them, but I don't want to say yes, her include us in the numbers, and then we drop out 'cos baby arrives and they lose XXX for us not turning up.

    When I was planning my wedding, I had 8 people drop out in the two weeks before and it was a nightmare - seating plans, cost of food wasted (venue wouldn't budget on that!) etc. etc. I couldn't do that to someone else! Not that an evening reception is the same as a main wedding, but I would just not want to do that personally.

    We are going to explain all of this to them and I know they'll understand but it's such a shame we will miss it. As I'll be on maternity leave, we might arrive at the venue at the same time they do after the church (in the background of course) so I can at least see my friend in her gorgeous dress!!!

    xxx
  • Thanks so much for your replies, I'm really pleased that most of you think it will be fine from your own experiences.

    Joo, I totally understand what you're saying, but my friend has said they're really hoping we can come and I know the food thing won't really be an issue as she is doing a hog roast (you don't get any money back on that one if a some people don't eat it!!) and salads etc so she's not paying per head. Also the dessert is the wedding cake, so again, she will be paying for the whole cake regardless of how many portions of it are served. She is doing the table plan herself and said she will do it at the last minute as she knows there may be some changes (she has another friend who is due 2 weeks after!!). Also she's not having name places printed up, she's writing on stones. So I don't feel too bad from that perspective.

    I do really want to go so I think we'll say yes, book a hotel for the night before and the night of the wedding and keep our fingers crossed that all will be well image
  • Moomin - hope my post didn't cause any bad feeling! Was def. not meant like that and perhaps it was not worded the best? I will go and look... please don't think I was saying you are bad or anything!!! Promise I wasn't. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  • Not at all Joo!!! It was a good point, as I hadn't really thought from that perspective. I was justifying myself in my second post I suppose as I was just thinking it through out loud so to speak!
  • I'm sure you'll be fine! My cousin's wedding is 3 days after my due date, a good few hours away, so I kindly turned that one down!!

    Butterfly
    19+4 x
  • Why not hun? Its entirely up to you and how you feel. Weve been invited to a wedding 4 weeks after my due date but as its going to be a very posh affair and its in Essex (we live up in Leicester) so we decided its just too far to drive with a newborn!

    xxx

    http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/p/dev207pr___.png

  • We were invited to a wedding and we really wanted to go. We took our 5 week old baby and it was lovely. Baby slept through most of it and when he was awake was easily contented. It was a real ice breaker as we didnt know the majority of the people there and due to the compliments received we felt happy and relaxed. We stayed for the meal and left before the evening do.
    Hope you make the decision right for you.
    Rach x
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