Can't get excited about being pg, keep scaring myself

Hi all, can't really tell hubby about this and I know how great you girls are.

I'm nearly 5 weeks pregnant, everything seems to be ok, the slight pulling and cramping I had last week has pretty much gone away. However, I'm not allowing myself to get excited, I've begun to almost expect things to go wrong. How on earth does anyone get through the first 12 weeks of worrying? I just keep letting my mind wander and thinking - "should I have done that? What if I have a miscarriage now?" I was outside chatting to my SIL the other day while she was having a cigarette, and once I'd got home I spent hours rushing to the loo to check I hadn't started bleeding because I put the idea into my own head that I might have done something that would hurt my baby.

Please help me stop this cycle, I want to be excited and positive, but I won't let myself! I've got absolutely no reason to suspect I'll miscarry, I suppose it's because it's out of my control. It's starting to keep me up at night though.


  • I can understand how you feel, my first 12 weeks were full of nothing but worry made worse by the fact that I had three bad bleeds and each time I was told I was probably miscarrying !!

    My only advice is to try not to stress too much about what you do as if you do miscarry (and i'm sure you wont) it wont be down to anything you have done. Furthermore some bleeding in early pregnancy seems to be pretty common but if you do bleed get it checked out. As i've said I bled several times but one of my friends has never bled in her pregnancy.

    All you can do at this stage is try to take care of yourself, eat healthily, dont drink/smoke and enjoy being pregnant !

    Dunno if I have helped to put your mind at rest or not.

    MrsW 38+2
  • Thank youm MrsWeir, at least I'm not going mad, it's reassuring to hear I'm normal! I think once I've seen my doctor my mind will be a bit clearer, feel a bit like I'm in limbo tbh
  • I found a way to deal with it was to read up on the week by week process, that way I had an understanding of what was going on. So much changes week to week in the first 12 weeks that there is always a positive thought to have about it, the changes from tube to womb, start of the heart, from blastocyst to embryo to foetus, its lovely, just think of the stages you are completing and focus on the positive work you and baby are making then when you have the 12 week scan you know what baby has gone through to reach that and its a grand reward. Helped me anyway. Pregnancy bible on amazon is a good book to get and there is the national geographic "in the womb" on youtube which you can watch.. the unknown is a worry, knowledge is power. This helped me lots. Good advice from mrsW too, take care and enjoy! x
  • alabaster - that's a great idea! I've just been looking at the week by week information on, it's really fascinating and detailed. I think i'm going to bookmark the page and look at it to give myself an idea of what's happening. it's amazing!
    I also think i'm going to have to chat to hubby about it soon, I only didn't because I don't want him to worry too - about either of us - but I also don't want him to think there's something wrong.

    Thanks for the advice, girls! x
  • Hi Emily

    I'm exactly the same, am worrying myself silly at the moment. every twinge, just want to hide in a bubble until after 12 weeks....
  • A bubble would be perfect lillykitt. I'll join you! When are you due? x
  • Awww hun, I have had 2 mc's so the first 12 weeks of this pregnancy were agony. I totally know how you feel - every day felt like a month.

    At 10+4 I got a doppler which was the best thing ever and gave me so much reassurance. Otherwise I called my twin whenever I had pains who reassured me that she had them too (and now has healthy 14 month old)

    Just take it one day at a time. When you are worried remember that pains are normal, bleeding can be fine and you have more chance of things being fine than of them going wrong.
    Try to keep busy too. Organise nice things to do so you are distracted a bit.
    Could you have a private scan to break the time up a bit? After seeing hb at about 8-9 weeks (when it becomes a foetus) the risk of mc drops lots so once I had passed that point I felt a tiny bit better.

    Just remember that if mc is going to happen no amount of worrying or wishing it won't happen will change it. So you're better to try to stay calm and enjoy it as much as you can.

    Hope the time goes quick for you hun. Once I got to 12 weeks I did relax a lot.
    xxx (15+5)
  • very good plan to watch it every week progressing i was the same and in many respects i still worry at times now, there will always be some element of worry its natural you are a parent but try not to get to over obsessive with it, i was a bit like you but it was because i thought i would be pnished for when i left my dh who i am back with now but it was all silly hormonal stuff!! i would panic over every blood test and going for my scans etc.. my mw said to me on thursday she cant believe how chilled i am now compared to the nurotic women she met many months ago!! i hope it goes quickly for you to 12 weeks and i wish you a happy pregnancy xx

    chloe 37+4
  • sweetie im 6 weeks today and have been like this since i found out. I dont have mornikness this morning & m now convinced there is something wrong. I have booked through babybond to have an early scan at 9 weeks to try & put my mind at rest.
  • Another fellow scaredy cat here! I had a natural mc in Jan and got pg straight away! I have done nothing but worry the whole way through this pg. Im now 8 + 2 and still cant stop thinking about what may happen and asking questions about mc. Thankfully, I have mw tomorrow and, as im not sure of my dates due to mc, and the plan I have to ask so many questions about mc, im hoping they might scan me early to put my mind at rest!! Even the fact that I feel absolutely awful doesnt put my mind at rest as I dont know if symptoms would carry on if I had mmc'd. I feel so silly asking questions about things on here as im sure people will think im neurotic!!! So, yes, this is totally normal and im pooping myself at the thought that something may be wrong and I dont know!!

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